I want to be slutty, where do I start?

Question

I just turned 19 and I´m going to start college in a few months. During high school I was the "shy, introverted girl" and needless to say, not a single guy paid attention to me. After I finished school I changed the way I look and I´m dressing in a more mature, sexy kind of way (not slutty or too revealing though). I was also very romantic and I always thought that  I would meet a great guy, but I didn´t.I DO NOT want to start college as a virgin (which I am). My mother says it makes me unique especially in these times, but I prefer to be like everyone else in this subject.I want to gain a lot of experience so that the guy I eventually meet won´t leave me because I´m boring in bed.I read a lot of questions here about girls who are virgins in their mid to late 20s and I don´t want that to happen to me because most sound really upset about it. I don´t want any STDs or anything, it would be perfect to find a friends with benefits that would understand that I only want experience for my future boyfriend. I would also like to have casual sex, so I can have a lot of different experiences. However, I have no idea where to start. How do I propose this to a guy? How do I tell him? Where do I start with all these things?

ellensp93 · Accepted Answer

First off let me just say that it is not a wise decision to lose your virginity from just a friends with benefits or casual thing.  You most definitely will regret it later on.  You say you want experience so that you will know what you are doing when you have a real boyfriend.  What if you meet a wonderful guy who you later learn doesn't have any experience at all, but you now do.  Its better to learn with your boyfriend than you having all the experience and he doesn't or vice versa.  Additionally, the type of girls that you are trying to become most of them probably have been in some kind of real first relationship with a boyfriend, but later decided they wanted to just have casual sex with other guys.  Usually it starts off with having a first or maybe second relationship and later decided they really don't want to be in a serious relationship and that's where the experience came from.  It sounds to me like you want to have a serious relationship with a man.  Being slutty and sleeping around with other guys won't attract men to you to ask you out on a date or be in a relationship.  It will only attract guys to sleep with you.  I understand you want experience, but being slutty is definitely the wrong way to do it.  First get experience by getting a guy to ask you out  and go on dates.  Also, the girls who are upset that their virgins in their late 20s is probably not because their virgins but because they haven't found the right guy to have sex with.

calialltheway1993 · Accepted Answer

I'd like to apologize on your behalf for being a clueless female and beyond informed regarding how men view women and what is expected for women.

Your title is unbelievable. You do realize " to be a slut" is something looked down upon. No guy want a real and genuine relationship with a slut.

Your description is unbelievable as well. Your speaking as you don't value your self. Do you label yourself with a price tag? You don't need to rush things. You should let it be. I really don't understand your rush to become a slut. With an attitude like that will lead you no where with guys who want you for you and not your vagina. You'd be the girl known as easy access and no one will love you for you. Do not rush and neglect and disrespect your body next time.

Betwyn · Accepted Answer

Do you have guy friends? Guy acquaintances?  Find one of them you feel comfortable enough to talk to..  and tell them what you told us...

sa230e · Accepted Answer

I don't disapprove of casual sex but I think that, if you decide to do it, it's important that you do it for the right reasons. I think if you have the right mindset and can process it right that it can be a positive experience, a celebration of the joy of sexuality.

I think that problems arise when you engage in sex to fill an emotional void inside. I think that may be the case with you. It sounds like you have a lot of underlying emotions, like needing to fit in with your age group, disappointment at not finding romance and fear that lack of sexual experience will prevent you from finding romance in the future. It sounds to me from your question that what you want is not the sex but relief from these worries.

In other words, the sex is just a means to an end. If it were the end itself then I would have no problem with recommending you seek it and upon getting it you would be satisfied. But if you're using it to satisfy some other desire you will feel unsatisfied because you're filling the void with something else.

I think you really need to confront and examine these feelings closer.

kheserthorpe · Accepted Answer

Experience doesn't really make a girl boring, or not boring in bed.

'Boring in bed' is code for 'wont do things that turn me on'. It's about being closed minded not about being inexperienced.

When it comes to actual relationships guys are more likely to view virginity as a plus than a minus. And some guys will NOT date girls who have 'sluttiest it up'.

If you want to have casual sex, go for it, be safe and enjoy.

If you want to lose your virginity because you think it will make your future boyfriend like you more, you're very much mistaken.

windsurfer · Answer

I don't think any guy who'd leave you for being "boring in bed" is a guy you want to spend much worry or effort about becoming experienced for.

A real man isn't going to base it on that - he'll love you for you and communicate with you about your sexual life.

It's your choice who and how you hook up, but don't do it simply because you're afraid some guy will be bored with you.

WickedEyedLeo · Answer

"I want to be slutty"? Wow, that's a heck of statement.

Anonymous · Answer

be more flirty , take the initiative with people you find attractive that talk to you. Just have fun

Anonymous · Answer

I am not judging, but in your case I would say cherish yourself. You deserve so much more than you think. :)

Anonymous · Answer

this has to honestly be the stupidest thing I've ever heard of

Anonymous · Answer

I'm not sure you are going to learn things to use with your future husband from casual one night stands. The guy will probably just use you for his own pleasure. I feel you are on a rocky path and it might not end up the way you are thinking!?! Are you comfortable being labelled "that girl" on campus. Like many things in life, it's not usually best to go from one extreme to the other. Why don't you ease into this more carefully? There is NOTHING wrong with being a virgin when you get on campus! Have you ever read up on girls who regretted decisions theyve made such as the ones you are describing? If a guy you really like thinks you are boring in bed just because you are a virgin either he needs to "move on" or you need to be able to better accept some feedback. There is so much research you can do on sex on the web, from how to turn guys on to what guys like, how to perform bjs etc you really don't have any excuse to be boring!

Anonymous · Answer

As a woman, there is no shortage of men who would be more than willing and capable of helping you achieve your goal.

That said, don't do it with just anyone. Girls tend to regret that later on. Wait until you find a guy you care about who returns those feelings. It's worth it for most girls.

Anonymous · Answer

Read     this and start thinking.

Anonymous · Answer

wear a white tee shirt with no bra that says FREE VAGINA on it!

Anonymous · Answer

First off, what do you look like?  Height, weight, measurements and best feature?

I want to be slutty, where do I start?

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