I think I failed at first hand job with my boyfriend.. need some advice/tips please :)

[plzdontbreakmyheart]

My boyfriend and I got to third base for the first time (for both of us) and I was really disappointed that I couldn't finish him off. Firstly, he's uncircumcised which completely took me off guard, but I still tried, and I was 'at it' for what seemed like forever pulsing and adjusting technique, running up his shaft, feeling over the head (with the hood), even twisting, and he leaned back and closed eyes a bit and made the occasional noise every now and then, but nothing that seemed like he was going wild. Do guys react the same way to girls? Sometimes we get a 'jolt' if touched in a sensitive area and I thought the p***s was a lot more sensitive! Once I got him to pre-c*m just by kissing, I can turn him on really easily, but I just couldn't make him come! I really don't want to disappoint him, please can I get some advice? and thankyou for your maturity :)

[sa230e]

A few thoughts:

There's no shame in asking. Every guy has different preferences, they're not all going to be the same and you can't just expect to know exactly what he likes. Talk to him. Tell him not to be afraid to say "faster" or "harder" when you're doing it.

Focus on the foreskin. There's sort of a cultural assumption that glans (the "head") is the most sensitive and important part of the penis. For circumcised guys that may be true because that's all that's left. Most people don't realize how good playing with the foreskin feels. Friction and tension on the foreskin feels great for me. Glide it back and forth over the glans or just pull on it and it feels great. Touching the glans itself directly doesn't feel very good to me and I can't get off that way and for some intact guys it even hurts.

Don't use lube. The foreskin is your lube. It allows your hand to glide back and forth smoothly, you don't need to get it wet. The standard "jacking" technique feels good for an uncircumcised guy too but if you use lube there's too little contact and it doesn't feel like much at all.

Guys probably don't react like girls. If you've ever seen a guy masturbate it's more intense than when girls pleasure themselves. Penises are tough, they can take it. Don't be afraid to "beat the meat" as they say. Which is not to say that slow and gentle doesn't feel good but you can get rough with it.

And finally it could be him. It's hard to come if you're nervous. Maybe he was anxious and it held him back. He may need time to get more comfortable with you.

Finally, don't beat yourself up over it. You have to learn how not to do something to learn to do it. Nobody ever got good at anything without making a few mistakes. It has nothing to do with your skill or attractiveness. The more experience you get, the more skill you get.

[sa230e]

Thanks for BA!

[UlsterScot]

A real hand job is done like therapy.

On his back, kneel (soft bed) between his legs, sitting on your heels.

Plenty of cheap, dollar store Aloe Vera or cocoa butter lotion.

Use both hands. One at the shaft, one gently massaging/lightly scratching his sack don't separate his testicles. Cup them together.

Start off slowly, more soothing than exciting. Go just fast enough to build an erection.

Don't over stimulate the cap. It is very sensitive. "Milk" his entire penis.

When he is fully hard, precum is flowing and you want him to come, retract his foreskin with the ball-massaging hand and stroke his shaft very vigorously with a moderate grip. Be sure he is wet with lotion and precum. Go as fast as you can.

Your thumb should be on the "vein" on the underside of the penis. Depress it most of the way on the up stroke but mostly release it on the down stroke. This sends pleasure waves to the prostate and stimulates the "loading" process.

When he comes, grip his penis firmly with your hand but stop all motion for the first 3 or 4 squirts. Then resume stroking like this: squirt (stroke stroke) squirt (stroke stroke) squirt (stroke stroke) to keep the contractions coming. When they stop, again grip his penis without movement.

If he doesn't come this way (he should) you may go to prostate massage (forefinger, second knuckle, palm up, "come here" movements) to give him an extra push.

Good luck.

[LouyJay]

Just want to straighten something up first. Women are by far more sensitive then men. Men have however many nerve endings through the shaft and head of the penis. Women have a similar number, if not more, in their clitorus alone (and I'm sure your aware of how small that one part of our anatomy is). That's why women react more intensely and why its easy for women to become overstimulated (which can be uncomfortable) whereas men don't tend to get this.

Moving on. Don't be upset that you failed first time. It took me many attempts to finish off my current boyfriend. It was partly because I was learning what he likes (speed, grip tightness, etc) and also because he was a little self-conscious. Orgasms are just as much mental as physical so if your boyfriend felt a little self-conscious because it was the first time you were doing this sort of thing together then it could have been that. Just ask him. Get him to give you a little guidance as to what he likes and you can do the same when he's doing stuff to you because we all have different likes. There is no one method or technique that works for everyone.

Basically, don't get caught up on this. Just enjoy your time together and think of it as a learning curve. If you learn what each other likes, things will be great for both of you. Just have fun and don't stress yourself about it. It'll happen sooner or later, more likely sooner if you don't fuss about it or try to make it happen.

Hope that helps :)

[alanta7]

Wow your boyfriend sounds very lucky to have a girl so keen to pleasure him. Each guy likes it different. I suggest you let him wank in front of you as you watch it will turn you both on and you will see how he does it to himself. Is he as keen yo satisfy your clit twitchez

[kheserthorpe]

Most australian guys your age are uncircumcised, so ... start getting used to it.

Running up the shaft and feeling over the head with the hood and twisting are all pleasant, but generally speaking rhythm is required to reach orgasm. What you describe feels good, but orgasm comes from simulated thrusting.

Assuming his foreskin can roll back and forth, the 'standard' way to stimulate him would be to grab hold around his head with the skin forward, then with a pretty tight grip, move down, retracting the skin, then slide back up again. The skin moves with your hand. Up and down. Fast. And keep it up.

If that doesn't work, I'd suggest you directly ask him how he masturbates.

Be careful of most of the well meaning advice from circumcised males below me.

[madhatters4]

I know for myself it is harder to get off with just a hand job...I'd suggest using lubricant that will allow you to do it more vigorously without hurting him. maybe try two hands because the sensation that the p*nis entirely engulfed feels nice, also massage his undercarriage (balls).

I've found that often times women will grip too tightly during a hand job, which is understandable since they can't know how it feels but you don't need to squeeze hard.

The best succes I've found with hand jobs is lubricant so the girl can do it a little faster (not harder just faster). Maybe try a little bit of dirty talk (e.g. asking how it feels, telling him how hot he is, how turned on you are)

P*nis' and v*ginas definitely don't respond the same, for most women soft and gentle clitoral stimulation works best and I can assue you soft and gentle doesn't really work for men on hand jobs... otherwise just ask him how things feel and what he might like

[Dragan]

Why hand job? When he is turned on, penetration is the best. The clitoris is much more sensitive. He has 8000 nerve endings in a small space. The penis has about 4000 nerve endings, but it is enough.

[Anonymous]

Hahahaha the funniest line ever "he's uncircumcised which completely took me off guard". Hilarious! Wondering how you would have coped if it was green too! 90% of males on our planet are not cut, so maybe hit Google for some tips of wanking ANY type of penis!

[DocClassic]

haha maybe 90% of the planet is, but we all know that is a skewed statistic. you can't really count the majority of the population who can't even afford the operation. in America (where most gag users are from) the majority of the male population is cut

[kheserthorpe]

In Australia most aren't. uS p*rn Standards collide with her local reality.

[Opinion Owner]

Most can't afford it? Oh please! Most countries recognise its there for a reason! Nature did not make a mistake. The US is the minority when compared to all other Western countries for example. Forget the third world, the % is still very low for cut males on the planet.

[Anonymous]

a dry tugger...every guys dream. seriously though, I have always been pretty anti-hand job. I don't think any guy remembers a great one. try giving him a bj or just having sex

[Anonymous]

use more lube and incorporate both hands. Look up videos of girls giving hand jobs on p*rn sites like spankwire dot com. You'll see all the techniques instead of being told them.

Remember its not about consistency and speed. Guys like it all over the place getting tugged and pulled in different directions. Go really slow up and down the entire length of the shaft... then grab a firm hold by the base and jerk on it for a bit... then switch it up and go for the head with really quick short pulses. You really should check out p*rn for hand jobs. Unlike real p*rn when girls are giving hand jobs they are almost always doing it the way guys like to be pleasured. There's no fake moaning and you can always tell when a guy is enjoying a hand job.