My boyfriend follows a lot of p*rnstars on twitter, should I be worried/upset?

[BlueEyes24]

I am talking about like 40 or more or twitter sites dedicated to naked girls. I am insecure with myself and I find it disrespectful that he isn't hiding it and I can see it, but is this normal? shouldn't he just be happy with me and not have to look at other women? is it normal for him to follow this many? he sometimes follows like 5 more a day and just keeps following new pages. the girls on the pages have all different shaped bodies so its not like he's following women with a small stomach and big boobs because that's unrealisitc. do I have a right to be upset about it? we talked about it and he was pissed at me because it sounded like I was being controlling and or I didn't trust him and I do trust him he has not given me a reason not to trust him. I just keep not feeling good enough like the women he looks at like, I have smaller boobs a big butt and my stomach isn't flat (I have a small pouch) I'm 5'1 and 125 lbs. Is anything wrong with me? lol I feel maybe I'm being irrational?

[HandsomeRaj]

1. Let's begin with his not hiding it is not meant to be disrespectful :) - it merely means that he thinks it's normal.

1.1. He likes p*rn and follows its stars like anyone would follow Hollywood stars or watch movies

1.2. It also means that since he thinks like 1.1. he's not hiding it from you - 'there's nothing to hide' in his brain

1.3. He deems sex and sexuality as a part of life and natural evolution - which is correct :)

2. His liking p*rn and p*rn stars doesn't have anything to do with love.

2.1. You see it that way since you don't see p*rn as an art like you would see any movie or it's stars

2.2. You are seeing women and naked erotic ones at that which makes you feel inferior and jealous / envious - not required since they are not competition

2.3. he is not seeing it or following them as an alternate to you, else he'd be with one of them or similar, not with you

3. If you think the way I've described above, you'll find no reason to be upset

3.1. If you like other men say p*rn stars and he feels the way you are feeling now - then either you've made your point to him and he's being hypocritic or he was blissfully unaware of the effect his actions were having on you.

4. BOTTOM LINE AGAIN: HE LOVES YOU, LIKES YOU AND IS WITH YOU NOT WITH THEM :D

[BlueEyes24]

Thanks Raj! lol yeah I don't see it that way at all I look at p*rnstars like theyre sluts that get paid for it so it disgusts me. I don't see men as looking at women in a non degrading way at nudity if theyre following women who are just showing off their bodies. that's how females see p*rnstars, especialyl women p*rnstars. I guess we just see the male ones has being attractive and not slutty lol does that make sense? and can you see my side of the whole thing? lol maybe I'm being irrational.?

[BlueEyes24]

Raj you like boosted my self esteem with this answer :D

[HandsomeRaj]

There was never any reason for you to feel low about anything in 1st place while I don't blame you for the way you think (or thought earlier) :) - anyone generally will think the way you did :D However, I think we must treat p*rn stars as artists just as we do for any movie star for one and even whores who actually sell sex as people who are out to earn a honest living. Atleast they are not robbing others' hard earned money but offering something that a person wants against the money :) Bad are those ...

[HandsomeRaj]

... cheat or rob people of their hard earned money etc while these though perceived that way cannot do that unless d person involved doesn't want to go to them willingly first. Bad are those who force these women (whenever forced, there are willing women into this too) into any such activity again thanks to the 'demand' - no demand, no supply - simple economics :) But agian end of d day, your guy is out in the open. Pls understand what I've written & follow what you can for both your sakes - especially u

[KingsOfleon88]

He's not going to hook up with any of them, so even if he "follows" them, it isn't as if anything is going to happen, he's probably just interested in their tweets. It is funny to see what celebrities are tweeting, because that is essentially what is going through their mind. And plus, he's leaving it all in the open for you, it's not like he's doing it in secrecy, which imo would be a lot worse. Think of how many women talk to their ex-bf's in secrecy, imo THAT is worse.

[BlueEyes24]

Very true thank you for your input! :)

[Anonymous]

any guy who follows 40+ p*rn stars sounds like a douche. I'm not really sure how to give you advice cause that would turn me off just knowing he was doing that so now I'm just picturing one of those loser guys on Jersey Shore who are good looking but really are just tools who think they're hot sh*t.

Is he the kinda guy who thinks he could get a p*rn star if he just knew one well enough(when really he couldnt) and that's why he follows them it makes him feel like he's got a shot when in reality that ain't gonna happen? it doesn't sound like he's looking to cheat he's just inflating his ego with this little fantasy world of p*rn he's created.

[lauramor]

he isn't doing anything with them. and as you have starts that you like its like that for guys.

[Scoopie]

So if a guy hides it, the girl gets angry, if he doesn't, she still gets angry about it... what is he supposed to do?

You can be upset, I don't know, many girls seem to be against p*rn, or at least claim to be so. Worried? Why, really? Women also like to see those hot men models, and guys probably also feel insecure about that, like they are not good enough.

[kheserthorpe]

If he's choosing p*rn via whatever form over you (ie turning you down and choosing to masturbate) there's a problem.

If you're shooting him down such that the bulk of his sex life is fantasy, rather then actual sex acts with you, that's a different problem - though in that case the p*rn is a symptom not the cause.

If thigs between you are great and he's doing this to meet an instinctive need he has for some variety, let it go.

[BlueEyes24]

He rarely turns me down for sex lol. just when I'm not there its something to get off to for him. yeah things between us are great! what do you mean some variety? lol that might be the case for a fantasy or whatever I know men always never fantasize about the same girl its always different girls. I don't know why it bothers me maybe because its just out in the public and stuff?

[kheserthorpe]

When you say 'out in public' do you mean out where you see it, or where other people see it?

[BlueEyes24]

where I see it and or others

[BlueEyes24]

I feel like I have a right to be upset about it but basically he told me to deal with it becasue this is what guys do. I don't know I just find where I can see it its kind of disrespectful

[BlueEyes24]

He tells me he is looking at beauty but I'm number one in beauty I don't know if he is just curious or this is just instinctual as a male. females don't really get it sometimes.

[kheserthorpe]

I'd perhaps distinguish to him that you don't mind him looking, but you'd rather it wasn't so obvious to other people that he's looking. It makes you feel like they look at you as though you can't satisfy him, and embarrasses you. Most guys look at p*rn. Most guys do it discreetly.

[BlueEyes24]

Lol I said that it turned into a big fight and I'd rather not have another fight like that again. I was trying to explain that to him and he stood his ground saying that all men look at p*rnstars and it shouldn't matter to me because he is with me and that looking isn't a crime etc. - he got so mad he didn't talk to me for a few hours becasue he feels like any other men he has a right to look at naked women which is normal for males. I don't sit around looking at penis/men all day LOL. ya know?

[BlueEyes24]

Call me a prude but I look at p*rn too but I don't do it in front of him, out of respect I'm discreet about it. everyone looks at p*rn I just feel like its kinda disrespectful in front of your partner on a social networking site. watching it together is totally okay I'm down for that but just social networking makes me feel uncomfortable. I don't know how to explain it

[kheserthorpe]

I understand. He's sort of publicly saying 'look at all those hot women'. Noticing is one thing, but publicly declaring it is disrespectful to you. Its like hitting on other women in front of you. Or you bouncing up and down beside him going oh my god look how hot channing tatum is'. It seems like when you bring it up though, he defends his right to look, which is not the issue. The more you can focus on 'publicly making it obvious' vs. 'looking' the better.

[BlueEyes24]

What do you mean? lol he is not hollering at these women just looking and browsing through photos. Its not like he is pursing them which id be pissed about. I should focus on like him being open and honest with me about it than hiding it? he's not or has ever cheated on me so I'm not worried but I don't know why its twitter that bugs me. if it was a site okay, normal but twitter? lol. and I don't think he cares if I point out another guy is hot either. he's secure and knows he has me. I need to be like that

[kheserthorpe]

It it obvious to other people like they can see he follows them?

[BlueEyes24]

Yes

[Cantremember]

Hiding it = liar

Not hiding it = disrespectful

How to win that one?

After all its just Twitter. No dating site. No chatting with others. Just a social news site. Some people follow thousands. Who cares?

[Dragan]

His behavior is for concern and a serious discussion of these issues. I would be very upset if my wife followed on Twitter p*rn stars.

[xXxAx3LxXx]

You should be worried or upset if he was actually banging those p*rnstars, which I doubt.

[Anonymous]

It is perfectly normal to look at other women - HOWEVER it is not normal to follow 40 p*rn stars on Twitter.

What I mean is :-

"shouldn't he just be happy with me and not have to look at other women? "

No. He's always going to want to look at other women. That's just being a man. Sorry.

"is it normal for him to follow this many?"

I would say it's not normal to follow even one.

[Anonymous]

Its very weird and its the first time I have even heard of p*rnstars or sites having twitter. Regardless he sounds obsessed with it. I feel it is your duty to snap him back to reality. Its not about controlling him just a "WTF ARE YOU DOING DUDE!?".