Is my boyfriend no longer attracted to me or does he mean what he says?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 yrs. We have a son together who is 10 months. When I first met my boyfriend we were having sex on a regular basis. When I became pregnant it slowed down but not drastically. Now I have gone up about 3 sizes in clothes and since weight gain I have been very depressed, because I can't solve my problem as well as others. It seems as though he never wants to have sex. He holds it all back until he is just so horny he can't take it anymore. I asked him if he is unattracted to me now because of my weight and he tells me no... but I feel different. He says that he just isn't as interested in sex as I am. He feels like he has had way too much sex in his years (after numerous relationships he has held, he is the only person I have been with sexually). Is he really not attracted anymore and doesn't want to hurt my feelings or am I being insecure?

[blueyedgrll]

My guess is he is not as attracted to you as he used to be or just not turned on as much anymore. Like you said it's only when he's really horny. This is not to say that his feelings for you have changed, he just is not as sexually interested in you do to whatever reason. Maybe the weight, maybe the lack of exciting sex (look up exciting ways to change your current routine), diet can also affect a man's sex drive (you can look up what kinds of foods diminish sex drives and compare them to his diet). Of course he is going to tell you that he is still attracted to you. He cares about you and doesn't want to hurt your feelings.

[Bernie18]

i think the answer he gave you was bs. I don't think someone who has "had a lot of sex in their years" gets tired of having sex. Guys, correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think a guy would complain of having too much sex in his life, and use that as a reason why he isn't interested in sex as much. anyways, aside from his bs answer, the problem might also be with you. obviously you are feeling bad about your weight, and I know how you feel because I had a baby 3 weeks ago and I can't stand looking at my loose skin. you feel different, so maybe you are also acting different in your relationship.

[chica1]

How are things going otherwise? I've been with my man 7 years and we have two kids. Sometimes things are hot, sometimes they aren't. How is the stress level. Jobs? Money? How much sleep is he getting? Are you mad at each other over anything else? It could be the weight or it could be something else? Sometimes when there are other stresses the love goes a little south.

[mikess314]

Hate to say it, but he's probably not as attracted to you as he was before. The weight gain and the depression that goes with it is a major turn off. Every guy fears that he'll settle down with a woman and then she'll start letting herself go and turning into that stereotypical shrew. And most every woman pleads with her man to believe that won't happen. Then usually she puts on fifty pounds or so.

I know it's not a nice answer, but you should probably make a commitment to lose the weight. The rest will follow suit. Confidence, energy, lustfulness; it will all come back. And so will he.