Sexual Health
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Boyfriend wants sex after 2 months, I'm not ready?

My boyfriend of 2 months has started asking me for sex, about once a week. He's 22 (I'm 19) and previously been sexually active (although its been about a year as he hasn't been with anyone since his ex). I hadn't done anything at all with guys before I got with him, and therefore I'm wanting to take it slower. He's asked about 3 times now, and each time has been a different reason, some of which are really dumb (yes, he tried the 'just the tip' line, and 'it will be better for you, and if you bleed it means it fit you well' *facepalm*)When I've told him no and explain how I feel, he gets a little frustrated (nothing unreasonable) and tells me he wants to 'make love' to 'seal off our relationship'. He does seem very happy with the relationship: told me he loves me, wanted to get a place together, I've met the family and they already knew heaps about me so I doubt he's trying to just have sex. He even cried one day after we had an argument. He sees us having sex as a way to make us feel completely committed to the relationship, where I feel differently and want to feel committed before I have sex. We've only done oral and stuff like that up until now and it's getting to the point where I think he's getting bored with it, as he keeps reminding me how 'this is only foreplay'. Whilist I DON'T plan on having sex until I'm 100% certain I want to, I'm still a little concerned as to if this is going to start affecting our relationship soon, so I'm seeking some advice and opinions. I know if he's genuine, he'll wait till I'm ready so I'm not just going to give in. As a side question, if a guy was just sticking around for sex how long would they be willing to wait before moving on? Thanks!
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Most Helpful Girls

  • I can understand that he wants sex, he's a young guy who is with a girl he's attracted to. But he needs to understand and respect that you need time and he needs to stop asking/pressuring you. Sit him down and explain to him that you're not ready and don't want to be pressured.

    I'm not sure how long guys stick around who want just sex because I never had one of those guys (aside from a one-night-stand where it was clear what it's going to be). But I don't think a guy would introduce a girl to his family if he's planning to get rid of her once the deed is done. However, I have to say that I find it a bit odd that after two months he's talking about getting a place together. In my experience, those guys who seemed very eager and committed in the beginning, usually turned out to have some commitment issues or were inept when it came to healthy relationships.

  • He sounds WAY too pushy! Don't give in! if he isn't willing to take no for an answer he isn't worth your time! if you aren't ready sex isn't fun! and lets be honest your first time isn't very fun (although it gets WAY better with time)! he seems to really want sex regardless of how you feel! I can understand why he wants it and his frustration, but his reasons for wanting don't seem right! its a little sketchy! id just be careful if I were you!

  • if you don't feel comfortable having sex don't do it. I think when it is right and the right person you will feel comfortable! you haven't been together that long and you are a virgin so he should respect that...it's better to lose him than have sex with the wrong person in the end.

Most Helpful Guys

  • If you're already doing oral and stuff after awhile that does just make a guy crave your vagina even more. If he loves you he'll keep waiting but probably won't stop asking and trying to get inside of you. The fact he brought you to his family tells me he probably is serious about you and if he loves you sex is the ultimate act of intimacy for most people so it's normal he craves it. It could possibly change the relationship if he ever starts to take it as a rejection of himself which can happen.

    • Just try to talk to him about why you want to wait. Also think to yourself what it takes of him to prove to you he is committed.

    • I guess what I'm trying to say is you can say no but guys crave sex like women crave talking so you need to be able to say no without it seeming like you're saying no to him as a person. Tell him you're shy or you're saving yourself for HIM for a special day you haven't decided yet.

  • Just be wary about the waiting game. Because if you withhold sex, a lot of times, guys will start to think that you aren't all that attracted to him, and the longer it goes, the higher the chance of him thinking that. I'm not saying have sex with him right now, I get that you want to be comfortable. But what I am saying is to be aware of what is going on inside of his head as well and not just worry about your mental state.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • If he's true, he'll be able to wait until you are ready. Personally, I would never be ready after two months. I would talk to him about how you feel and make sure he knows not to pressure you.

  • Don't do it. I'm in the same situation. My boyfriends 22 I'm 18 I'm a virgin he's not. If you stand your ground and hil true to yourself he'll respect that in the long run. My boyfriend gets a little heated sometimes and I just remind him in the moment that I'm not reay to have sex. Then again though I plan on waiting for marriage but even if you aren't don't do it until you're physically and emotionally ready

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