My boyfriend wants me to get pregnant before getting married.

[Anonymous]

I have been with my boyfriend a little over a year. He is 30 and I am 28. He has a goal basically that he has to have kids or he will not be happy. I've always not been 100% sure about having kids. However, I'm more the type I know that when I'm ready to have kids, I will more than likely want to have one or two. But, boyfriend wants a guarantee and to prove to him that I will have kids and therefore wants me to get pregnant before getting married (or even before getting engaged). He has even thought about knocking some other chick up and then trying to marry me after so that he knows he will have a kid. To me, it seems like having kids is just on his bucket list and that he really doesn't understand the concept here. It's almost like he is going into a relationship to have kids. However, I feel that people should have kids because they are in love and feel like something is missing. Every time I try to tell him this and lay out that we don't have enough money (which I still have 20K plus of student loans to pay off) , (granted my ob-gyn just dropped my insurance company as well) or he doesn't understand the responsibility, or that I really don't want to get pregnant before I get married it's an excuse. But, to me, it's called being responsible. What am I suppose to do. Are all guys that want kids like this? It's like he won't be happy unless he has kids. I really don't understand that.

[why-makoto-kun]

I will never understand why people have kids before getting married. I think you should get married before having kids. IF you want children, have a good pre-nup, sign something that promises you'll try for kids in x amount of time, etc. to make him happy. But *cringe* Idk.

Also, I really don't like how he is 1) pushing pregnancy before marriage because he nay never fully commit with that arrangement and 2) how he is joking about getting another girl pregnant. That is not ok! Hasn't he heard of adoption?

[Anonymous]

If he wants you to have kids, He can marry you . I will never agree to having kids , Without being married. A lot of times when men think like this , They believe it will be easier to keep you because you have a kid on your hands. But they don't want the responsibility of being married , Basically they can have their cake and eat it to. I got married first . If he can't except that , Than no kids.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand that either. He sound very selfish to me.