He said he wants to get to know me first? Don't guys love sex?

[Anonymous]

Ok, so I had a date and I messed my date up now He is willing to give me a second chance and said he really likes me, He said he wants to get to know me in genural properly before having sex? I don't get it, don't guys want sex soon as possible? Hes had one night stands before, so I'm wondering why he's choising to wait to we both feel confortable with each other? I made a Huge mistake on this date and I hurt him, is he scared incase he gets hurt more emotionally by jumping in and having sex so soon after I've hurt him the first date? Not sure guys work like that, I feel if I had sex with him I'd feel an emotional connection as I already like him, and I'm more likely to get hurt, and am wondering do guys feel like that too?

[stubbsy]

Theres guys out there that genuinely want to get to know someone before they have sex, and this is often down to the amount of respect they have for that girl, so take this as a compliment, not all guys are only into what you have in your panties, they see that there's more on offer and want to get to know about that. Guys who jump into bed with you on the first date are often only looking for sex, and once you give it to them, you then become someone they couldn't take home to meet mum, so be warned, sex to early can put you on the untouchable list or desperate one, x

[normalice]

Men can not get emotionally hurt from sex, unless you're insulting in some way (like telling him to hurry up because you're bored, or spread rumors that he's really bad, or something..) - but even that isn't so much of an emotional pain as it is an irritation, and notice that all of these things must occur after the sex, not before.

I don't know the details of your situation, of course, but my guess is that he doesn't want you to get attached to him. Perhaps he is afraid that you may become a stalker or something...

[Asker]

That reply has thrown me a little lol! Stalker? I have gave you a thumbs up for your reply but it's highly doubtful he thinks that about me. Kind of strange reply but interesting indeed, I love other people's points of view and thoughts on things.

[normalice]

well, like I said, I don't know the details of your situation. this "huge mistake" to which you refer could be anything. A 'stalker' is just one of many possible reasons he may not want you to become attached to him.

[Anonymous]

it's sad that girls don't know what to do with gentlemen anymore he is clearly a guy of substance who cares about more than just sex

[titoloco]

Great character cannot be broken by I'll intentions, also if he's there for the sex only. He can take it, you know all the bitchy act, the bad words, maybe even your period devil...think about it how many men give second chances after being blown off.

[Asker]

What?!

[titoloco]

Great character cannot be broken by messing up or simply by being a bitch. If he's only into sex you'll know it after you sleep with him not before hand. You can always walk away and miss the opportunity of what his Tough act was all about, but I'll tell you something from an honest point of view. A guy doesn't pull the tough act and give a second chance if he doesn't like what he is chasing. If I didn't like a girl, talked to her and got blown off. It GAME OVER.

[titoloco]

Correction: "miss the opportunity to know what his Tough Act was all about" + All guys aren't momma's boy who you can walk over and mop the floor with, some guys are like real psycopath's (They will hurt you so bad you'll wonder if he knows the definition of kindness). Most guys love sex, but sometimes it's more about the challenge of the chase. You opened up the field testing his manhood O_O be careful what you wish for...just saying. One thing is sure you got his attention.

[Asker]

Hmm. Thanks for your reply. Makes sense, I had f**ked up big time and he has giving me a second chance to prove myself to him, I had grovelled to him for days apon days, I think after bursting his ego, I've spent days apon days trying to boost it up again, maybe that's what worked?

[Asker]

Hmm. Thanks for your reply. Makes sense, I had f**ked up big time and he has giving me a second chance to prove myself to him, I had grovelled to him for days apon days, I think after bursting his ego, I've spent days apon days trying to boost it up again, maybe that's what worked? ?

[kheserthorpe]

What was this huge mistake?

I suspect he recognizes that sex DOES boost the emotional connection for him, and wants to judge the potential for a relationship first.

Some guys want to assess the sex first, some just want to get laid and see what happens, and some guys try to think with their big head being clear before moving forward.

[Asker]

I got really drunk and kissed someone else and can't remember at all and I had to try talk him around for days apon days for a second chance. I've never cheated before so that isn't my normal self and was the last line for me to never get drunk again as I always seem to embarrass myself.

[madhatters4]

sounds to me like you answered your own question in the last paragraph

"I made a Huge mistake on this date and I hurt him, is he scared incase he gets hurt more emotionally by jumping in and having sex so soon after I've hurt him the first date"

Regardless if he's had one night stands maybe he sees you as different (like real relationship material), maybe he's trying to get into a real relationship rather than just a physical one, maybe he was hurt and is now taking a step back

Either way no not all guys want to have sex the first, second or third date. In fact with girls that we see has potential life partners it is often the practice (and a good one) to wait and let things develop.

[bassist58]

Wow, that's really stereotypical of you. Lots of guys DONT want sex right away, and that means he views you as a girlfriend and not a one night stand. However, we as guys view sex a little differently than girls. For us, we usually don't get an emotional connection, it's more of just a physical act that feels good. What I'm trying to say is stay with this guy and let sex happen naturally, don't rush it.

[Red_Arrow]

"Hes had one night stands before" Are you looking for a one night stand? If all he wanted from you was a quick lay and say "sayonara", then he probably would have jumped your bones. But if he wants a meaningful relationship, then getting to know you makes sense. I do not understand how you do not see the difference.

[sovetskii13]

He is probably not looking for a 1-night stand. He is thinking about being in a long-term relationship with you because he likes you in a more emotional way. Not all guys want sex as soon as possible. If some girl (friends with or not) came up to me, and asked me to F her, I'd say "No" because that's not what I'm looking for in life. He is thinking about having a long-term relationship with you, but he wants to be more certain that you are the right one by getting to know you better.

[Asker]

I'd like to think he likes me more in an emotional way, But his long term relationship started with sex on the first date which makes me wonder why not me? Although I would like sex with him, just don't feel ready either.

[jb12358]

He probably really likes you

[Asker]

Yeah he's told me that.

[Lj237]

I'd rather wait too