I have a total crush on my guidance counselor what do I do?

my school assigns us all professional guidance counselors. mine is only 9-10 years older (i'm in my 20s so I'm not a child anymore). I don't even think my school has a no dating teachers policy. i have a total crush on my guidance counselor. I talk to him a lot and we always chat for an hour. it is professional guidance but we end up talking about personal stuff spiced in there too. when I talk to him he smiles a LOT and seems to mirror my body language. I could be reading deeply but I am attractive enough that he could be attracted to me, for sure. we also have a lot in common because we are from the same culture. I like him because he's so smart and good to talk to and I just really like his personality. I REALLY like talking to him. he's also a nice guy unlike most of the jerks I used to date. i do get a vibe that there could be something between us because when he talks to me he seems more relaxed and smiling, less "official". I feel attracted to him as well. but I also just really like him as a person, meaning relationship material because it's not just "lust", it's also about his character. whenever I talk with him we end up talking overtime. is there any way to maneuver this? any advice/help? am I just screwed?
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What if there is no policy against it at school? (Don't think there is) Or what about after I graduate?
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Most Helpful Girl

  • I completely understand how you feel, because I've fallen hard for a young staff member too. But you need to look at this realistically. It's just not going to happen. He's a professional adult, and you're in high school. Even if he did think you were cute, he wouldn't sacrifice his job, dignity and life to be with you. And that doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with you. You're amazing and deserve all the best in the world. But this isn't something you want to get involved in.

    Therapists are trained to be friendly and mirror behavior. That doesn't mean that he's lying, but his job is to get along with you and ask you about your life. He's your therapist, not your friend. You can tell him anything, and he wants to help! But he's not there to date you.

    I'm in psychology, btw.

    • i'm not in high school...i'm in graduate school, I'm in my 20s..if you read the question

    • not to be a bitch but I think me being in graduate school (past college and all that) changes things slightly. and he isn't my psychologist. he works in the professional training center so really his job is to give me advice for job searches but I always end up talking about other things with him.

    • You're completely right, I missed your age when I read it. Thanks for pointing that out. And yes, that changes a lot. I would still be careful, but you are an adult and can make these sorts of decisions on our own. He might not be allowed to be your counselor if he dates you (policy with anyone who does counseling or therapy), but if that's okay with you, than I wouldn't be too concerned. Good luck with whatever you decide!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You're screwed. If he's smart, he won't dare touch you. That's his job right out the window. If he's not... well, then that's his job right out the window, tons of drama for both of you, and a relationship that's doomed to fail. You don't hook up with someone when your relationship is supposed to be professional.

    • There's a policy against it at EVERY school, sweetheart. You're dreaming.

    • Well could he be attracted to me?

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