For girls it is rigorously emphasized from birth the keep those legs closed until you say, "I do." But I think for many American males raised in a religious household - they are told to wait until marriage as well. But I don't think it's pounded into their heads like it is for girls, and not for the same reasons as girls are expected to remain pure. The threat of being labeled as "spoiled goods" also plays a role in keeping girls out of the sack. It's very important to some women how they are viewed and accepted by their peers.
But looking at the websites for virginity pledges shows just as many boys vowing to keep chaste as girls. (Not that it works ...)
Looking back, I don't think that if I lost my virginity to Prince Charming instead of Mr. Jackass, it would have been any more special than the first time I made love to my husband as his wife. That was a fantastic night ...*sigh*
My virginity was never really a big deal to me when I was still a virgin or even after. I think I was ready to be sexually active at 15, but got my first kick at the cat at 19. It took that long to find a willing partner I was attracted to. My only regret was that the guy was such a jerk - I was disappointed in my taste in men at the time, lol.
I feel it's a personal thing - how important it is and what circumstances you want to lose it under - but because of the different standards that women are held to compared to men, it is more important for women to remain virgins than guys.
Well personally I'm not in a huge hurry to lose it. I don't care when I do as long as its to someone very special who I love. I don't see sex as a huge deal. A lot of girls say they don't want the relationship to be all about sex, but me and my boyfriend do things all the time when we are together and I don't think that means its all about sex. I just think doing sexual things brings you closer together and that its important in a good relationship. Me and my boyfriend have a close bond because we are comfortable enough to do things with each other. I'm still a virgin and he is too. I think having your first time with someone who is having theirs as well would be just as special if not more than say losing your virginity on your wedding night to someone who wasnt a virgin. The wedding night will be special no matter what and if he is in love with you enough to marry you and want to spend the rest of his life with you then chances are he will love you just as much if you are or are not a virgin. Sex can be such a special thing between two people that it doesn't really matter if you are a virgin on your wedding night or not. I think the most important thing is is that you still see it as something special and not just sex.
Even aside from the religious debate about abstinence, society holds young men and women to such different standards. Women are told they can be just as aggressive as men, but if they sleep around like men, people begin hurling insults. Personally I waited until I was 20, and experienced sex with someone who loved me, and was in a committed relationship with. But for men, if they are sexually active with multiple women, they are just "sowing their wild oats."
It makes me sad to see so many young (high school through mid 20's) men and women who treat sex like any daily activity. And unfortunately, women forget the dangers of not only an unplanned pregnancy, but STD's as well. For some STD'S men are carriers, but may never show any symptoms. This is not the case for women.
The stakes are high for men and women, but an unwanted pregnancy at an early age usually is the end of her potential college plans or dream career (I'm not saying it has to be, but seeing classmates and friends go through this, it is usually the case)
Even if you don't wait for marriage, sex is something to cherish, and treat with great care and caution.
i personally think its more important for girls generally because of the way women experience sex differently from men... men are going into someone else so in a way they are not necessarily as open and vulnerable as a woman who open up and let someone into them
i have decided to wait until marriage because I only want to have sex with the person I love.
some people will say that they love someone even though they are not married and of course that's true but when you get married you are making a promise in front of God that you will always and forever love each other, and I think that is worth waiting for before having sex (it shows true love)
i don't think of marriage as something I commit to but can later get rid of... I take marriage very seriously - I intend to get married once to the man I love
when I do get married it will be after a couple of years of dating because I want to be sure that I've met the man I'm supposed to be with so that I won't get a divorce
marriage is sacred to me and so is giving my husband my virginity on my wedding night
You are so right.
+1 Good Answer.
B E A You T I F You L. I wish it was easier to find a girl like you. I'm the same, and I'm a guy.
I think you have to do what's best for you and evaluate how much of a role society plays on you. I wanted the first time to be special, but honestly, it weighed down on me. There was a hurriedness I felt to just get out and do it. I also bought into the culture that I should be having sex with tons of girls and figured I'd get around to it after that first special girl. I ended up waiting until I was 24 and apparently found someone a little too special because now we have a rather serious relationship.
I think certain guys are jerks and want to have sex with everyone, and other guys think that that's what they want because we have a sex-crazed society. I realized I'm too relationship-oriented to just go around having sex randomly. There are probably more guys like this than you think, many are just shy.
I agree with you on principle. My ex and I were virgins when we were together and had opportunity and both wanted to, but I wouldn't because it didn't seem right at the time. There were other circumstances to it, but given what ended up happening, I wish we would have. I didn't want to put her in a position where she might regret it. Well, a while after that and we had broken up, she ended up being raped. That's how she ended up losing her virginity. Take that as you see it, but I think it can be important. Just don't have doubts or regrets about it. If you think you will, don't do it. Otherwise, be safe and enjoy.
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!when you get married you'd want your wife to be tight right? you'd want to be the first one in her life. The guy you lose you're virginity to, is someone a girl NEVER forgets.
a girl's virginity is soo important, who she gives it to should be someone special. A girl can lose a lot of respect, Be labeled "easy" or "slut",etc. Plus a relationship has more meaning to a girl if it's not about sex.
I don't think you sound like a big poof, but in my opinion guys are just expected to lose it to less respectable girls and get practice. and I don't think there's an overall gender view on this I think its just personal.
Wrong. I don't care if I'm the first guy in her life. Good thing, too, at my age--but I felt the same at 20. And I never met one that wasn't tight.
Same, I won't lose it until I'm in love,
so many sluts and man whores nowadays.
either because if you're emotionally attached to it, then virginity is important. for a girl, like me, virginity is important because like it's something you want to give to a guy who cares and will be there for me, not some loser. seriously, if I could rewind my life, I wouldn't have been with some guy who abused me and I wouldn't have been in a horrible situation. I'm Christian and to me, I think it's important to keep it for marriage if you can. because some people have no respect for it and you just have to be careful these days. I went through like a year and half of counselling and all that crap. definitely definitely definitely save it if you don't know, when you meet that special girl that you know is the one for you, then you'll be more mature and ready. guys do remember their first, in general. likewise, I will remember my first but I hate him. guys and girls are people , and so it's the same, I think, it just differs if you're more emotionally attached to things or less. some people don't care, but I do. I am definitely the type that is sentimental, so yeah
it really isn't a gender thing, it is personal preference. But as far as statistics go, girls generally lose theirs before guys.
Even tough I "popped my cherry" I still consider myself a virgin because I never had sex with a guy. I kinda made a promise and have to stick with it till I get married cause if not God will strike me dead, so I guess it is a big deal to me.
Wow, you just seem oh-so-committed... and yes, I'm being sarcastic.
girls. we have a need to hold onto everything that we can. we get treated differently so if we can't hold onto many things we hold onto our virginity. guys don't have that. they were treated with more respect in the last 100 years and got what they sort of wanted. we have to fight. we just hold onto what's ours for fear of losing it.
a girl that's a virgin is seen as a sweet innocent girl. a guy that's a virgin depending on age of course, is seen as can't get laid
By other guys? or by girls?...
Well to me its important because I want to experience it with someone that I truly love and will be with my whole life. It all just depends on the person.
I wanted to lose it as soon as possible to the first good looking girl that was willing, so I did and I don't regret it because it really didn't mean anything to me. In western countries losing your virginity is seen as a right of passage for guys, into manhood.
For girls it is often seen as the same thing, but it is also a double edged sword. They are seen as a little girl if they don't lose it, and many experienced girls make fun of them (Personally I think its out of jealousy and envy), yet if they lose it and don't stay with that guy, they are seen as easy, and become more "easy" with the more guys she has sex with.
For the girl I want to marry, this may not sound fair, but I want her to be a virgin for me. I just put much more value in the virginity of girls than I do of guys.
well I would say I know a lot of guys that want to loose it like fast and quick cause I guess that makes them look good? to be like to their bud oh I've been with her her and her and so forth... its like I didn't really want to loose it to someone that didn't care about me and I think I found someone special which is my boyfriend at first when he knew I was a virgin he asked why did I want to stay a virgin but I told him I'm not gonna give it to just anyone. the only guy ill give it to is the one I love and he has to love and car about me back and he proved it to me so yea.
i think its actually cool that a guy want to have sex with the girl he really cares about and she has to love and care about him too.
Virginity is important to both guys & girls.
Well, it's a phycological thing. Since guys have their genitals on the outside, sex is viewed as an external, physical release where as girls have most of their genitals on the inside, making it a more emotional process for them. Plus, girls are somewhat more emotional to start out with (not saying all are but l would say most are) and it puts more value on sex. I would say girls just because for most girls it's a bigger process than with guys who just want to lose it to look macho or to feel good (not saying all guys do are that way either).
Hope that helps!
P.S. I commend you for your attitude, it's hard to find a guy as affectionate as you. The world would be a better place if it had more guys like you in it. Stay golden.
This comment is absolutely perfect. And I never thought of the psychological thing in that way, very interesting but true. 100% agreed. I want to wait till marriage, and when I do get married in 1-2 years, will only be with a girl is virgin as well, period.
Thanks. I think sex should be taken very seriously because it creates a lot of emotional baggage if used the wrong way.
For me personally I'm a guy and I wasted it on the wrong person and I regret it but honestly it was fun and I enjoyed it. For girls its just something that they want to keep their innocence.
I think that it's more important to guys that they loose it at a young age... I guess it's sort of a status thing.
I lost my virginity when I was 14 and the reason for that is mainly because I wanted to tell people that I'd lost it but as soon as I did it I regretted the fact that I didn't do it with someone that I cared about.
It really does depend... I know guys who have waited for ages before they lost it! It really means different things to different people...
for the most part id have to say girls
girls of course , I mean I don't think it would make any different for me , and its physically ,emotionally and mm by anatomy ,different for girls
I would agree that guys do want to lose their virginity ASAP and to be honest I don't really see why. My friend at school keeps asking if I have or not and I keep saying I'm still a virgin. I personally think you should only have sex in really deep relationships.
i still didn't lose it I got offered once but I denied .i want my first to be special too, not some random girl, it would be nice. but id rather be wit the girl that has my heart. :)
It definitely means more to girls. We're very emotional. I'm waiting for the right guy to come along before I lose my virginity.
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