I'm the same way, most of the time. I don't know if its honest to say I never have been, but for most of my adult life, I can't recall being that way. Even into my adolescence. I think its mostly because I'm stuck on myself, which is negative but its positively negative in this way. Meaning, when someone has something nice that reminds me of what I want or I need to do for myself, I'm pretty open in expressing that I need to get my own self together, I need to do this or that. I can't ever recall a time in the last several years where I felt any kind of animosity or negative feelings toward someone for what they had. Half the time, I don't care. I can admire the awesomeness that is yours and your own without really wanting it for myself, and I damn sure don't need to be nasty about it or resent you for it. That's not who I am, and its not so much about not being jealous as it is about how I see the world and how self-centered I am and introspective. I want to improve myself, so if I really want to do something youve done or something you have accomplished, it will be a simple reminder that I need to focus on myself and my goals, especially if I feel behind or side tracked. Heck, you may be able to help me and give advice. But I appreciate people doing positive things. And that is usually the case, I couldn't care less if you have designer clothes or a nice car, but if you are traveling the world or getting your law degree, you're working on your Phd, etc. - that's something I will see and truly admire.
However, I won't say I never feel competitive with friends, just not in the way you are talking about. My life interests and goals don't revolve around catching men or catching other womens men, so although I may fantasize about them, I personally wouldn't go after anyones boyfriend. Probably...and definitely not a friends boyfriend. I wanted this guy my friend was involved with (not her boyfriend though) and I was honest with her and she knew how I felt and we talked about it. But at the end of the day, I supported her, gave criticism and advice from an honest point of view and never tried to sabotage her or anything. Its just not in my character and I knew she had deep feelings for him.
The competitiveness I sometimes get with some friends is about our accomplishments. I don't like it when I really think about it. its not really intense or anything but there are times when you get this feeling of how you expect the other person to respond to your news...idk how to explain it, but its there. And from my perspective, with one friend in particular, it feels more like the jealousy is on her side, its not a big thing but its something beneath the surface of our friendship.
I think an ex-best friend may have felt I was jealous of her at times. I don't think I was, but there were times when I wasn't as supportive as I should have been. Not my best moments, and it was partly about that competitive thing. I regret that because it may have been one reason why we are no longer friends.
You are a lot like me in those aspects. I feel like I need to better myself more then focus on what someone has and to hate them for it. As far as competetion I never really seen myself as someone who tries to compete for looks. I want my friends to feel beautiful and look pretty. I want them to feel confident and sexy. As long as I feel like I look good that's all that matters. I've had friends try to compete with guys but it was more annoying then anything. I don't fight over guys.
Yup. I want my friends to be their best in every way, and the people who are really your friends want the same for you. Every now and then I come across someone who has a lot of issues though lol I won't be competing for any guy with my friends. Maybe with some random girl but not even. I just refuse to compete for attention. My personality is big enough as it is, if you like me, like me. If you're distracted by her...okay? On to the next. Your loss. :P
I actually disagree with the girl above me. I do think the average person is that petty about jealousy and competition. My god, walk out in the real world and try to do something with yourself beyond breathing and you can find people to your left and right who want to tear you down. whether its in your face is another story. its usually not. but don't mistake quiet, insidious resentment for maturity in how people handle jealousy. I definitely disagree with that.
I admire female beauty
I've never understood how some women become jealous and demean beautiful/sexy women based upon their appearance.
As for competitiveness, since I am the type of girl who will admire from afar(and is OK with it) and I always keep it to myself when I have a crush or like a guy(because my friends have big mouths) I don't allow myself to be put into the position of possibly getting jealous
Yeah same. I can say if a woman is beautiful or not. I've had friends try to compete with guys but if they want them that badly then they can have them. I will go on to the next
Yeah I am in the same boat about the women thing.I never get jealous or envy other women who are more prettier or successful than me.I admire and appreciate their beauty.
I think you just have confident and trust in yourself so you aren't insecure about this matter.
aww well you are super pretty! Glad you are confident in yourself. Completely agree that as long as you are confident in yourself and love how you look and feel then you shouldn't feel the need to compare. Jealously = insecurity
Yeah.Jealousy usually associate with insecurity and self consciousness of someone who have issue about themselves.
And thank you for the compliment.You are pretty too :)
I would not call you weird, just uncommon. Kinda rare. You're not weird, but I think that if you're not acting like that, then you're somewhat well adjusted in that respect. I say good on ya.
Sounds like you have the confidence of someone who is getting off whenever they want.
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!... EVERYONE experiences jealousy at some point. But that doesn't mean that you experience it in such an intense way as what you're describing. Just because you're a little jealous of someone doesn't mean that you have to hate them, or be rude to them. Most people don't get so jealous that they hate a person for having something that they don't, or feel the need to "compete". I don't think the average person is really all that petty in handling their jealousy.
At some point I might experience it but in my almost 22 years of life I have yet to. I can't speak about how I will feel in the future since it hasn't came yet but thus far I havent
Oh well then obviously you must be some sort of saint.
No I'm just not a jealous female. I think everyone should look and feel their very best without comparing yourself to others
All sane & rational actions are getting weird these days, eh? I really doubt if you're authentically feeling this to be weird or you're just bragging here.
no I would think someone at some point would envy someone for something. My boyfriend knows I'm not jealous and he wishes I had a little bit in me to be jealous just a bit
A good clarity with oneself and being rational, takes out a lot of insecurity & jealousy. Perhaps you're one and thus this can't be weird. If you're not really too much bonded with your boyfriend emotionally, you won't get jealous of him and thus this is not weird, either. If you're a narcissist or have a high level of superiority complex (Rationally or irrationally), you won't get jealous.
The Narcissism can be considered a psychological condition and thus weird and Irrational superiority complex can be considered a stupidity.
NO you have a great head on your shoulders. you are secure with yourself.
Me too. I've NEVER understood jealousy among women. If anything I get protective of my lady friends actually.
same here! I want my friends to be happy, healthy and feel pretty and be well
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