Does anyone else have a creepy/perverted father?

[Anonymous]

My father is... disgusting, to put it mildly. He's been an internet predator for about 20 years, but he's never been caught. He poses as a 20-year-old guy online and tricks young women into sending him naked photos. He does this constantly, like it's an addiction. He's not had a job for 15 years because it's all he does. He has never touched me, but he's made creepy comments to me since I was young. I also try to never be alone with him. He does things like rub his crotch in plain sight of me and "accidentally" pull down his pants before he gets into the bathroom. He's flashed me a couple of times. My mother goes to bed very early (9:00), and I try to never leave my room after that. But tonight, when I thought he'd gone to bed, I walked in on him lying face-first on the living room floor humping something (I have no idea what, because I got out of there ASAP). I wanted to vomit. I don't understand how I'm supposed to navigate a relationship with this man. Most of the time, we have perfectly normal father-daughter conversations, and he brags about me to his poker buddies, but then there's this really creepy underside to it that I can't ignore. My mother says I have to love and respect him, because he's my father. I don't. I think he's creepy and horrible. However, it's not like I can cut him out of my life permanently, because I still need my parents at this stage in my life. I can't be the only one with a creepy father. How am I supposed to cope with it?

[Anonymous]

Wait I've never used this site before so I'm not sure how old this thread is, I just googled something about my dad and found this, but I can completely relate. My dad loves to brag about me especially to his poker friends but I feel like the focus is my appearance and his friends are so creepy towards me. My dad has two sides he's either so rude to me and speaks down to me as if I'm incompetent and this huge inconvenience in his life or he's so nice it's creepy. He will use this sweet whisper voice that gives me chills and try to give me back massages (while kind of reaching around to touch the edges of my boobs) or come up behind me and kiss my head or cheek. He also has come into my room at night while I'm sleeping and pulled my covers down to stroke my back, or I've woken up to him just standing over me. I loved him as a kid, we did everything together and he seemed so cool to me but thinking back there were a few weird instances. I remember being pulled onto his lap several times and feeling something hard poking at my back. I also remember being a little girl naked and him blow drying my hair and me holding a mirror and him having me place it between my legs so I could look at myself and him explaining my v****** which I guess could just be a parent explaining the body.. I don't know.. But then at the other spectrum he sometimes gets so mad at me, he'll scream at me and he's even thrown me against a wall or yelled at me in the street causing my neighbors to get involved (I live in a normal suburban neighborhood) it's so bizarre bc he's paying for me to be in college and sometimes he's so nice and proud of me I feel like I should be appreciative but I'm so creeped out by him I hate being home on breaks and almost wish I never had to see him again. I feel like all my female friends have completely different relationships with their dads so I don't know the line of what's ok and what's not

[Shay145]

I feel you on that.. I just today lost respect for my father.. he watched porn around me and thought i would be ok with it and when i caught him, he said sorry and did a chuckle.. same as you i loved him as a kid very much and thinking of certain things i used to do to him not knowing it was out the ordinary, im thinking why didn't he stop me.. he never touched me or anything but our relationship is weird.. he is just like a sperm donor to me.. we don't really talk unless i need something or my mom is in the conversation.. My dad is certainly not normal.. im jealous of the good relationships people have with their fathers too

[paisley-chair]

Shoot. Girl. I feel you. I feel the same. It's even quite difficult to share to others 'cause it sounds crazy. But by far, I've been reading, that we girls should trust our instincts about these matters. So I dont know. I totally understand not wanting to be home on breaks because of this.

[UnderstandingUs]

I'm a boy but my father is very similar. I personally think he is crazy. He acts really tough and passive agressive sometimes and then becomes super creepy nice. His voice also goes from growling to firm to high pitched. He takes a lot of pictures of people in his life (especially girls) and used to come touch me when I was asleep. He also used to stalk my mother, both when they were first dating and later, and I'm pretty sure he stalks me. I don't know why but I always get the feeling I'm being followed in the house, like someone is listening or spying on me. It only happens in my dads house though. He Always walked around the house in his underwear but recently it's become excessive, and he started getting naked for showers and changing in front of me more frequently. He also started hitting on me last year for a little while until I was firm, he then cried and said that he wants a family like he imagined. My advice is to try to avoid him, it can drain you too much otherwise.

[Miss_missy77]

@UnderstandingUs that's literally so insane.. im sorry. I'm glad you've opened up about it

[renogaza]

my fathers much worse but I feel your pain, add me if you wanna hear about my father, its a bit too long to discuss here and ill just be ranting,

from experience I would say your best bet at a more peaceful life in the future is to completely ignore him and everything he does no matter what your mom says and get him out of your life as soon as possible, people like him tend to get worse over time and often have a secret double life, its impossible to fix them and theyre better off left alone

my fathers from the baby boomer generation, and almost every old man from that time is a creepy dirty pervy pedo, I've seen way too many of his kind to believe otherwise

goofluck and be safe

[renogaza]

wow typo *goodluck* sry

[SuperCurious]

I'm sorry that you have to live through this, it must be awful. All I can say is I personally think you should turn him in...while I understand it would be so hard because he is your father, how do you know he isn't taking this farther, Like by having the young girls meet with him and have worse things than nudes be shown..if you don't feel you can turn him in at least go to talk to a councilor

[ming13]

That is disturbing, I can not understand men who lie about their age etc, and no work for 15 years and just creepy stuff I don't blame you for feeling like you do. I am honest about my age of 46, have quite a few young female friends who I chat too and give sexual or personal advice to if they ask for it but they have to ask for it, I won't subject them to stuff they don't want. A lot of girls like advice from older guys to help learn about life etc, and I am always willing to friend them if they desire a friend. I really do feel bad for you , it is a creepy situation you are in. If you do want to friend me to have further chats for any advice I could give or just so you can have someone to listen to your worries you are welcome to friend me. No pressure. I hope things get better for you but after all these years it doesn't appear it will.

[WoIIie]

He's been prowling the internet for little girls since 1993 eh? Before AOL? Before there was even a computer in every home? Who the hell was this guy preying on in the 90's? Hopefully he had a lot of patience in downloading these pictures using dial-up.

And he's been unemployed since 1998. Right. Who's more of a loser, him or your mother for not speaking up and making this guy go flip burgers?

There's no point in trying to further rationalize this bogus story.

[teasegirl]

amen

[Asker]

Wow. I have to say, of all the responses I expected to get, it wasn't that. I don't know when exactly he started his dirty internet games, because I was a little kid. I remember my parents arguing about it when I was five or six (so, '95 or '96). Also, I never said he went after "little girls." Most of the pictures I've seen have been of teenagers. My mother ragged on him to get a job for years, but then she gave up. She had a good job and made enough money to survive on.

[WoIIie]

You've seen these pictures? Everyone is well aware of this yet nobody has done anything about it? What a bunch of spineless... I'll hold my tongue on that. Here's the thing, junior. If this guy really wanted to do something to you, it would have happened. If your mother had an ounce of self respect, this would have ended a long time ago. I don't know who the biggest loser in this story is tbh.

[Asker]

I don't think he's going to do anything to me. I asked about how I should cope with him, because this is extremely upsetting to me. We only had one computer for a long time, so my mother, brother, and I shared it and inevitably came across the photos. "Everyone" is just the three of us. You really expect a man's wife and two children to have him arrested? How many cases have you heard of where a man's immediate family turns him in? I can't defend my mother's behavior.

[Asker]

I think she is just too humiliated to admit the problem to anyone. I may not come back to this thread. It is too much of an upsetting thing for me to argue about. I was just hoping to not feel so alone. It is people like you who make victims afraid to speak up. Thanks to people like you, victims think they will only be accused of lying if they say anything. THAT is why horrible things continue on for years. Things much worse than one pervy old man who happens to be my sperm donor.

[WoIIie]

He's both cheating on your mother and soliciting minors for nudes. That's child p*rn. You don't cope with that. You turn him in. Make every excuse in the book. No matter what you say, that's the bottom line.

[Asker]

When I say "worse things," I'm thinking of things like the Catholic Church and Penn State sexual assault scandals. None of the victims spoke up because they were afraid no one would believe them. Unless you've been through something like this, you don't know how hard it is to speak up when you know it will mean being harassed and dismissed by people who claim your story is too ridiculous to be true. If you dismiss people's experiences, then you're part of the problem.

[WoIIie]

You have evidence now go speak up. You're being gutless blaming other people for your inaction.

[Pummel]

Oh you should not put up with that. How old are you (around how old) ? I would love nothing better than to talk to him and maybe teach him some manners.. I was abused from the 4th grade until the middle of the 8th grade. It was messed up seeing that I was a boy and seeing that the abuse came at the hands of Roman Catholic nuns.. Well I kept it to myself, my mother, brother or sister no nothing about it to this day.
Please if you need to talk don't hesitate to reach out... I will add you to my daily prayers

[elbako]

yeah but not as bad as yours, I hardly ever see my dad anymore for many reasons, and a good reason would be whenever we go out in public he fully stares at attractive women. I like to look but he makes it so obvious and desperate. oh and I'm 18 and he's like 50, lol

never going to bring my mates or my girlfriend (if I ever get one) to meet him, I hate being around him

[elbako]

and to answer your question, your dad is a loser. if I were you I would leave him and never see him again

[TsubasaCorrupted]

Once you can, cut him out of your life. You have no obligation to love or respect a disgusting person.
Cope with it by either ignoring it, or telling him to stop his nasty shit.
Either way, stay safe and keep me posted if you are willing to do so.

[Rick912]

My ex wife had a father who was worst than this. He had mind control of my ex wife. In that way, he could have her do anything he wanted. He told her that he would be the one to teach her sex and how to please a man sexually. She agreed with him and did whatever he wanted. She told me that she never turned him down for anything he wanted.

[LiveToLetGo]

For me I would just do this: I avoid him as much as I could. Go out with my friends. Find something that can help me escape reality. And then I change my personality. From being kind to not mean but say average. Step it up talk to boys that play soccer and stuff. Be friends be tomboyish not so much. Escaping from reality helps a little it calms me and makes me focus on that one thing. Hope this helps

[Anonymous]

Yeah my father is almost the same.