Who typically initiates sex more in relationships?

[Anonymous]

I really struggle to initiate sex in my relationship but it's got to the point that if I don't I won't get sex as much as I want it (which is fair I guess ha ha and I literally always want sex). Is it more common for guys to initiate or girls from peoples experience please? And girls and guys, any tips on initiating with my fella? I find I really worry about looking desperate or pervy, even tho I know that's not that case at all because he's my boyfriend, plus I'm quite submissive so I do struggle to just go for it. I don't want to feel or be like this tho. Help please!? :)

[kholland65]

Ideally it would be about 50/50 but I'm pretty sure its typically the guys in almost every relationship.

Your insecurities about looking desperate, pervy, etc. are not unique to women. Us guys feel this two. I once was in a relationship that was great. I initiated sex about 80% of the time, which was usually 1-3x per week (depending on when we had time alone). I actually got to the point where I sat her down and felt the need to let her know I wasn't using her for sex. Since I was always initiating, I felt as if I was bugging her and she didn't really want to have sex as much as I was wanting to. Obviously she told me it was OK and that I wasn't using her.

The point is, us guys, just like you, also like to feel desired by our partners from time to time. It feels good to have your Girlfriend so horny and find you so irresistible that she can't help but jump your bones. I understand that girl might have a bit more of a need than men for this, but its not a lot. So maybe it would be more like 60/40 in a perfect world, but again, it should be mostly equal.

Initiating sex doesn't have to be some elaborate scheme. Maybe if your sitting together, you just start rubbing his leg or chest, then eventually start making out. Then you just let things escalate.

Two examples of how my GF's have initiated sex that were simple but really hot were.

1. Me and my Girlfriend were laying in bed watching TV. She started to cuddle up on my chest, the next thing I know I look down and my half shirt is unbuttoned. I looked and her and with a grin she said, "I know what I want". We continued to take each others clothes off and the rest was history.

2. Me and my Girlfriend were watching a movie and drinking some campaign after a nice dinner out. I decided to get a bit more comfortable so I took my belt off and through it on the ground. When doing so I said something like "eh I need to take this off its getting uncomfortable", she reponsded with "That's OK, its going to be coming off before the end of the night anyway". I turned and looked at her and she just had that "I want you to f*** me" grin on her face. Shortly after we had some greatest sex I've to this day ever had.

All it takes is something small like that which lets us know that your in the mood to have sex. Sometimes all it takes is a little "Hey why don't we go spend some time in the bedroom, wink wink".

[madhatters4]

I think historically it was more common for men to intiate sex. But I think those days are gone as we've learned that the sexes are sexually equal.

I know for me I have a tough time initiating sex but it's come from so many times being turned down by my partner that I essentially just stopped asking. It's become an issue with my current girlfriend because she would like me to initiate more often

I don't think you should be concered with appearing pervy or whatever. I think it's a relatively natural insecurity to have since although sex isn't as taboo as it once was tehre is still a taboo nature around it for many people. Just go for it, I think you'll be surprised how much your dude appreciates it and the fact that he won't have to feel like he is always initiating.

I know for me and my girlfriend we just come up with silly terms to ask each other if we aren't going to to do something physically to show we are into. So for me I'll just say 'hey you wanna fool around' or something along those lines

[Anonymous]

Generally, I think men initiate more often. In my past relationships, I did.

[standUP]

OMG lol This is a balance I struggle with just recently. too funny.

Ok so my woman is a professional business woman that runs and organizes and controls that , other functions and organizations as well as home. with 2 kids that need special attention as young inspiring professionals as well.

So when it comes to me she just wants me to make the decisions and control the mood very submissive in the bedroom (mainly wants me to initiate the mood). She almost always complies.

However just recently she got annoyed because I'm so use to making the move and her complying That my timing was off apparently.lol. Some of the times have been wrong timing others she was too tired. and she got mad. Only to tell me the next day after it just built up. I told her just because I would or could make a move doesn't mean I would be upset if it didn't lead to more. Just hard to read when I'm making all the moves.

so damned if I do and damned if I don't KINDA. I say that because our sex-life is fantastic and some nights it's all night and when I say submissive I mean ONLY in initiating she knows what to do while started lol.

Anyway I would appreciate her to start the engines some times. We make-out all the time cuddling and I always assume that's her way wanting more,lol apparently NOT lol.

[kheserthorpe]

There are more relationships where the man initiates more then the converse, but it can be either.

[Dragan]

Men and women are equal. Anyone who in relationship have stronger libido should initiate sex.

[Anonymous]

It's much more common for guys to initiate sex.

He's your boyfriend. You're not going to look bad in this. First off, we don't think the same way that girls think about guys, and secondly, he probably won't complain about getting more sex. He might even see it as a compliment.