Low sex drive. How can I enjoy it better? I must be so boring in bed for my boyfriend

[Anonymous]

I have been with my boyfriend for nearly a year now. We love each other very much and have no real issues in our relationship apart from sex (which he says isn't that important) but I know he would love it if I enjoyed it more and did sexual things with him more often. I have a low sex drive, I find it hard to get horny... I never masturbate, although I did a little bit when I was a teenager. When me and my boyfriend have sex the pleasure doesn't last very long, I loose feeling and dry up quickly. He has tried everything and I haven't ever had an orgasm... I think using his fingers is the most pleasing (compared to oral and sex). But it's still not that wonderful to me. I feel bad because for my boyfriend because I am not very sexual at all. I occasionally give him a hand job, and I've given him oral a few times but it makes me gag even if I just suck on the tip... I don't like tasting his precum even though it doesn't really taste like anything :/ and I nearly threw up the one time he asked to finish in my mouth. I feel bad because it's not his fault, he has good hygiene and eats healthy... and then when we have sex I must be so boring. I don't know how to move around much and I don't want to fake anything so I usually just stay still while he goes on top. He doesn't like doing that though because he feels it's one sided... but it kinda is because I don't feel pleasure from it. I tried to sit on top a couple of times but it really hurts inside for some reason? Is there anything I can do to improve any of my sexual problems?

[Red_Arrow]

As another on here has suggested, get checked medically. Other than that, you do not mention what you do like. What did you find in your boyfriend that made you want to be with him as other than just a friend? Do you enjoy cuddling (that can be sensual)? Start finding what the two of you do that does bring you pleasure (of any kind). Do more of what you find enjoyable.

About drying up quickly. Definitely get some lube! Continuing any sexual stimulation without lubrication, natural or otherwise, will be unpleasurable and probably hurtful. That will kill the mood every time and quickly. Even if using lube does not get you to enjoying it more, it will keep it from being a negative, hurtful experience.

Gagging on just the tip of his penis and not liking the taste of his precum, even though it "doesn't really taste like anything" are not physical experiences, but are tied to your thoughts and beliefs on the matters (premarital sex, oral sex, or even sex at all). And therefor it could also be the source of your problems with coitus. These are things you should talk out with him, and possibly with a counselor.

[stubbsy]

See a gyno, I had a partner once who had the same symptoms as yours, and the pain when on top, and a very low labido through lack of pleasure, she found out she had endometriosis, which was treated with medication among other things, and after a while, her labido came back to normal if not better than usual, so although this might not be the case here, its worth checking out, here's a link that might give you a few more answers, good luck,x

link

[Asker]

My doctor thought I might have endometriosis a while back, because I have painful periods and even when I'm not on my period I have really bad pain in my kidney region (but it's not my kidneys causing the pain) I had blood tests for that. He did 3 ultrasounds to see if I had endometriosis and he couldn't find anything wrong :/

[Asker]

I got put on the pill to see if that would help, and it didn't help too much.. and it made my libido worse (the pill is known for that). Even if I do have endometriosis there isn't a cure, only treatment like going on birth control, and having a baby can help it go away I've heard, but it can also make women infertile so I don't know how that's possible :/ I would love a baby one day but not until I'm my late 20's or 30's.

[stubbsy]

It can make girls infetile, but usually only in servere cases, and endometriosis is more common in healthy women with healthy ovaries and a strong egg count, so maybe a check is worth it, and although there is no cure, there is a lot out there that helps, and this help does improve the labido to lol,x

[Asker]

I did have it checked out though (had 3 ultra sounds) and the dr found nothing wrong. Maybe I should get them to look inside with a camera it might be very mild.. the treatments for it are birth control such as the pill which I've tried and it made my libido non existant because of the hormones.

[stubbsy]

My ex didn't have birth control treatment, she was offered it, due to severity, but she opted for laser treatment, but then they found tubes were very narrow due to the condition, but I forget what other treatments were offered, but she outright refused the pill or implant, and she was told due to what happens during every period, birth control could help, she ended up with 20% fertility but a sex drive to endure lol,x

[Asker]

hmm well I don't want to have only 20% fertility :( having children is very important to me I've always wanted to be a mommy. I would rather have a low sex drive than not have a high fertility chance.

[stubbsy]

But leaving it to the unknown could mean you become infertile. She went from zero fertlity to a 20 percent chance is what I meant sorry,x

[hannibal214]

talk to your doctor. I can't imagine he's going to put up with this miserable sex life without blow jobs much longer. sorry

[Asker]

my boyfriend loves me to death he wouldn't break up with me or cheat on me because of that, he said so. He wants to marry me one day.