Are We Moving Too Fast Sexually?

[Anonymous]

Background: Dated for 3 weeks Me: Virgin, one past relationship (that technically didn't count) Him: Experienced, has had multiple hookups etc. No serious past relationship Both graduating from college soon. He officially called me girlfriend recently. Already talked about living together, meeting his parents etc. Here's what happened on each date: 1: holding hands, arm around shoulders, cheek kiss 2: first kiss leading to french kissing and light petting 3: Just walking around, holding hands, kissing 4: He lifted my shirt, sucked on my nipples, tried to put my hand on his junk with pants on but I didn't. 5. Both topless, make out, asked me to touch his penis, pillow talk 6. Me topless, him naked, BJ, some fingering 7. HJ, he masturbated in front of me and cummed. So...is this pace normal? I know he's inexperienced with long-term relationships so maybe he's just clueless. How can I initiate the "Let's talk about sex" talk and tell him that I want to go slower? *I've said "let's go slow" on the 2-3rd date and he mentioned this is slow for him...

[Anonymous]

Listen.

You move at a pace that's comfortable for you. If you're ready to nail this guy right now, then go do it. If you're not ready to do X or Y yet, then hold back on it. It's not rocket surgery.

For a guy who's probably had several one-night stands and quick flings, yeah, this is pretty slow, but it's not like he CAN'T go that slow, or even slower if he has to. It's a little more surprising that he's talking about living together, meeting his parents, etc.

That concerns me, a little. Like he's used to telling girls what he thinks they want to hear so he can get in their pants, that or he's not as experienced as he made himself out to be.

Anyway, I don't think you need to have a "talk" - just slow things down if you feel that they're going to fast. Tell him you're not ready for this, "this" being whatever he's trying to do at the time.

If he tries to press you for it or makes you feel guilty about it, then he's probably just trying to pop himself a cherry. If he's patient with you, especially if you're doing other things, then he's may actually be really into you.

[abw121290]

I think you move at a pace that is comfortable for you. If you are ready to keep moving forward, go for it.. But not because you feel pressured to.

Good luck and let me know how it goes!

[abw121290]

Thanks for best answer!

[heatherlu]

For him, this IS slow because he's used to hook up. Which means meeting a girl and banging her. He's already seen you 7 times more than he usually would.

My point is, he might not realize that whilst it seems slow to him, it doesn't to you.

If you want to slow things down, or at least not progress further yet, that's fine. Don't do something you're not comfortable with sexually.

But in terms of how fast your relationship seems to be moving ... your sex life seems slow if you're already thinking of moving in.

Point being - do what you're comfortable with. Not what you think is the norm.

[kheserthorpe]

Yeah, for a guy who hooks up, this is slow.

You've gone out a bunch of times, and he seems to see you seriously. If anything, his RELATIONSHIP pace is staggeringly fast.

Given how 'official' he is and talking about long term, when you've gotten him off what, twice?, at least one of them he doing the finishing?

Your relationship is moving faster then the sexual aspect.

Here's what you haven't told us at all.

How you feel about things, outside of sex.

[madhatters4]

This is all relative. For people who are sexually active this may seem like an appropriate or slow pace but for someone who hasn't had sex I can easily see how this would all seem pretty fast to you.

So really if it feels fast to you then it is fast and you need to communicate that. It's actually one of those great convos you can because you can find out easily if the guy is really into and sees you as worth waiting or if he is going to get angry because you aren't going to have sex on his schedule.

But ultimately you should have sex when you are ready. On your next date tell him what you think and as him for what he thinks and expects. See if he is willing to wait or maybe you two can compromise, but you shouldn't feel pressure to do anything before you are ready and he as a gentlemen should be wiling to wait to you are ready

[bDizzie]

The talk about living together and meeting his parents is way too soon! When it comes to being sexual, it's up to you. If its going too fast then slow him down. If he complains then he may not be a good match for you.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

You need to have a serious, truthful discussion with him outside of the bedroom. If it's too slow for him, he needs to reconsider his plans.

[hannibal214]

i think a blow job and him ejaculating in your mouth on date six is going slow