Is it normal to have a "dry patch" in a relationship?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I have been going out for over a year and lately we barely have sex, I don't feel wanted and stress pretty much ruins our relationship. It may be that I don't know but he has also not been as nice to me as he used to be and that has been going on for ages and he sits there and tells me how annoying I am being, maybe he has lost interest I don't know. He is more interested in his computer these days, I don't think he's cheating by the way, he isn't able to go out much anyway. I sometimes worry that he is only with me at the moment because he has no where else to stay, or maybe he does I just don't know. I worry he's using me until he can move somewhere better, we do spend too much time together though because we live together and I think it has ruined it, also I am sick all the time. I never know how he's feeling, I've spoken to him about the sex and he just tells me he doesn't feel overly wanted either and he feels awkward when I bring up talking about how we don't have sex, but what if he is just making an excuse to not have sex?Is it normal to have a "dry patch"?At the most lately we have sex once a week but recently we haven't in like nearly 2 weeks.

[Anonymous]

hmm. something similar happened with my boyfriend and i. we have been together 2 years. I had just been feeling a bit 'different' towards him, like, we weren't as close as we were in the beginning and it was upsetting, I'm not really sure how to explain it but eventually he brought it up because he could tell I was beginning to be a bit distant. and we had a really good, honest talk with each other and I found out he was feeling the same way that I was. and we decided that we love each other so we were just going to make things work and now we are just like we used to be :). so I think that first you need to force him to have an honest conversation with you! this is so important. because truthfully unless he is really stressed out about school or work or family issues, etc., I find it odd that, as a young man (i'm assuming), he wouldn't want to have sex! just ask him to communicate with you and tell you what's going on. it's also odd that he says you're being annoying..my boyfriend would never say that to me and if he is literally annoyed by your presence then that's a sign that something is not right and basically I just think you guys need to be honest with each other.

[Asker]

Yeah I question him a lot and I think because we spend so much time together, we get on each others nerves and he told me that I was getting on his, he gets on mine and drives me insane haha. I guess this time I don't want to be the one to bring it up, I always do.And we've spoken about the sex thing before and didn't really get anywhere, he didn't know why he didn't feel like it.So I don't want to bring it up again.It will constantly seem like I'm nagging and it's not just that, I just feel

[Asker]

like things aren't quite the same anymore. Like we are drifting apart, maybe he has lost interest but won't admit it. He has been depressed lately too and I know that can decrease your sex drive, but it makes me feel like he doesn't want me.I don't feel like I'll get anywhere if I talk to him and he is a quiet person so he doesn't say much.It would be good if he could bring something up..

[Opinion Owner]

well I mean he isn't bringing anything up so you are just going to wait around for him to someday start the conversation? being depressed can definitely be the reason why he doesn't feel like it but I don't see why he wouldn't just tell you that. idk, if I were you, even if you're scared to come across as nagging, I'd still ask him and be really blunt like 'are you tired of me?' etc.

[Ladydi1980]

It is normal to have a dry patch. Remember that we girls tend to relate sex with romance, so right now the two of you have not spent so much romantic time. It also might be something that is affecting him at work or so, and of course you have lots of stress. Do something different, go out on a weekend to stay at a hotel, buy something sexy for him, sometimes it is just that the two of you are so adapted to your relationship that it becomes stable. you can rekindle the passion.

[Anonymous]

It's normal. Just try to initiate more for the time being, try something new and make it fun.

[Owls191]

There are dry patches, and it's usually miss communication. One of my relationships I usually always initiated the sex, it was awesome sex. But then I stopped because I was stressed out from school and started to think she didn't want it since she never initiated it or anything. I just told her and she started being super sexy and understanding and we broke out of it.

Even if you feel tired there are ways to put your self in the mood, unless the sex is bad then there really isn't anything to look forward. Dress up for him or something, or try something new. If you want to have sex go have it with him, I'd be a fool if I ever turned down sex unless I was super sick.

[stubbsy]

This is not a normal dry patch as you call it, its him taking you for granted, and not really caring about your emotions as long as he feels OK, the relationship is not his priority, so let him know that your done with the relationship as it is, its no longer nice, so unless things change, then you think you two should call it a day for a while, this will wake him up and make him realize that he is taking you for granted, and should really be making a big effort into making you feel good about the relationship again,x

[Asker]

What makes you think he is taking me for granted though?And one thing I forgot to mention is I never really initiate. I feel awkward and insecure and already have a low sex drive..so it doesn't help.

[stubbsy]

Well the fact that he can treat you nastily and not have a real reason, but still expect you to remain his partner, and that he does not consider your feelings with his actions and only satifies himself without the respect due to you. These are all cases of taken for granted case. Only you can demand the respect you deserve, but allow him to behave like this is never going to create a loving relationship,x

[dolfan13]

Yes it is normal to have a dry patch. relax and it will work itself out.

[Anonymous]

That's normal.

In no time, you'll be over that dry patch and things will be so blissful and romantic for you again.