I feel so bad...my boyfriend can't stay hard
My boyfriend and I have been together for a few months now. He's a 39 year old ex-smoker of 10 years that drinks occasionally. He has a great physique...played hockey for 20 years and he works out. I'm a 27 year old health nut that loves sex.
Within the last 2 months, we've been trying to have sex but he cannot seem to keep his erection. Even when I give him oral sex, his penis is usually flaccid in my mouth. Otherwise, when we fool around, he's hard as a rock...but the moment clothes come off, he can't stay hard.
I'm kinda concerned that he is turned off by my unusual body type (I'm 5'2", 115lbs wearing a G cup bra...grandma had huge boobs too...lol). He assures me that he likes my body although he NEVER looks at me or any part of my body during sex. I know it's normal to close your eyes during sex, but this erection issue has me thinking lots of crazy things lately.
The other day, he asked if I've ever considered a breast reduction. I've never had surgery before and the thought of anyone cutting my body open freaks me out completely. Plus, I do a lot of back and ab exercises when I go to the gym, so I don't have any back pain...so I've never had to consider surgery before. Was that his subtle way of telling me he doesn't like big breasts? Am I just being too sensitive? I've never had anyone complain about them before.
Sometimes he is hard enough to get it in, but it has NEVER lasted more than 15 mins. This is going to sound terrible, but...I've faked orgasms with him a few times to boost his confidence (in case it was an insecurity issue), but that hasn't seemed to make a difference. Instead, he almost seems relieved that he can stop having sex with me. So, he usually stops and says he needs a break...but we never go at it again. He has only ejaculated twice...I haven't had an orgasm with him at all (although he thinks I have on many occasions).
When he loses his erection during sex and we have to stop, he always says, "I don't know what happened. This has NEVER happened before." It's not very flattering to know that I'm the only girl he can't get hard for. The last time he had sex in his previous relationship was 3 months ago. So, only within the last 3 months of knowing me, he hasn't been able to maintain an erection.
I always tell him that it's okay and we both make excuses for why it happens (he's tired, he had too much to drink, he has a cold)...but the truth is, those excuses don't apply to all 60 days we've been trying to get intimate.
I'm scared of letting him know how insecure this is all making me feel because I don't want him to feel worse than he already does. Plus, I don't want to put additional pressure on him.
Now, I'M the one that's becoming insecure...I need help/advice.
What can I do to drive him crazy in bed? Is it possible that my disproportionate body freaks him out?
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