Sexual Health
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Sex tastes continue to become more and more unusual with age and experience.

I am a 27 year old female and I have had allot of partners. I would never tell a partner this I have in the past and it has never turned out well even when they said they wouldn't judge or they confided first. My first boyfriend introduced me to anal sex and though I was hesitant found it incredibly erotic and pleasurable and I've been hooked ever since. After a number of years I was unable to orgasm any other way. Except oral sex. It has now progressed I can orgasm through anal oral or vaginal but I take a longer time however I have to have triple play all three zone stimulated at once allot of work right? As a single woman I cannot get aroused with out watching p*rn. When I'm in a relationship with a guy I'm into hell yes I can get turned on and ready to go but my imagination is worth sh*t on my own I can't get wet just from thinkiing about sex. Porn; my p*rn interests have gone from standard cheesy p*rn to lesbian p*rn to anal sex p*rn, anal destruction, gay p*rn, rimming, to rough sex, deep throat, painful fisting, for some reason I enjoy watching women being hurt by men it turns me on. I am disturbed by this because I have no desire to have this done to me. I have experienced fisting and it was horrible I was infuriated with my ex and got so mad at him for doing it to me I insisted he never do it again. I have never allowed anyone to deep throat with me. Nor come on my face. I have no idea why this kind of p*rn turns me on because as soon as I'm done watching it I'm disgusted and humiliated and turn it off. I'm concerned that my interests will continue to get more and more crazy and wild and I will not be able to find a good man. I have started attending church and I'm torn between my desire to watch p*rn and attain orgasm and my desire to follow god and find a man or god and eventually get married. But I don't want to be stuck doing it missionary unless I could some how get off that way. I've never gotten off missionarry. Guy's what do you think? I've dated allot of older men and I think part of it is older men are into crazier stuff certianly my ex introduced me to allot of things that I hated at the time but watching turns me on like ATM, domination, rimming, fisting and submission but I would never want done to me again. I'm so confused!
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Most Helpful Girl

  • It's OK to have fantasies that you don't want to actually do, because fantasies you are in control. I get really aroused by watching two gay men or about the thoughts of a MMF threesome. I get turned on by other strange things, too, such as my partner and I being punished by an outside source and having a strange combination of pain and empathy. I also happened to have been sexually abused, and some of the things that arouse me psychologically are things that are replaying trauma for me to try to work past. Other times, people are just turned on by things and if it doesn't create negative energy in their life or others, it's not really a big deal as long as they don't try to force their interests on others.

    For you, it seems that you are having negative energy over these feelings. I would suggest doing some introspection about why it turns you on and getting to the bottom of it. I don't think that you can categorize any certain type of person good or bad, old vs. young into a sexual category. We don't all experience sexuality the same way, which is why you need to consider what it means to you and how you can experience it in a healthy way.

    • Also, consider which part of the acts you are aroused by? When you are watching p*rn, you can kind of experience both partners roles at once. Are you craving sexual power and control? While you are female, you might not necessarily be identifying with the female partner in p*rn. You may be identifying with the dynamic. Maybe you just need to feel like you're the one calling the shots for your own sex life, which isn't really that uncommon.

    • Very nice I think you have the best answer, thank you. Yes my last relationship my ex was very sexually abusive he would get me drunk and just do things with out my permission things I never would have allowed and was disgusted by usually. Things I might have considered with the proper steriilization process! Anywho so yah I think you are right I like that idea of having power over someone. It's a sadistic power. But why don't get the same kick from women punishing men?

    • Maybe you don't feel that women can be in power? Like I said, also, maybe replaying trauma is trying to help you overcome those feelings. Or maybe you are stuck in a pattern that is reinforcing a negative belief. Trying to overcome sexual trauma can be difficult and it's pretty individualized what helps and what doesn't. Avoiding getting sucked into one relationship after another where someone likes to hurt you is a good start. This book helped me, some, too: link

Most Helpful Guys

  • I'm sometimes confused to. Except I'm married, my partner is vanilla with a low drive, and so its all a theoretical confusion.

    I suspect p*rn watching is, by nature, unsatisfying. So its quite common to look at increasingly extreme p*rn over time because p*rn -always- lacks something, so we try to make up for it with intensity, and then what was intense becomes ordinary.

    There are a lot of men who are now reporting p*rn watching seems to impact their ability to get aroused. You could read on 'your brain on p*rn' etc. Some find after cutting p*rn, their sex drive initially flatlines, then comes back.

    I'm interested in the finding things arousing that you don't want to do. Some, obviously, are just uncomfortable. Others are more psychological so ... well its interesting. Is it that you find it arousing seeing it happen to another woman, but don't want it to happen to you? Is fantasizing about it being done to you hot? Is fantasizing about your partner doing it to another woman hot?

    There's a range between missionary and the most extreme stuff. You like anal, for example, which falls between.

    • I'll point out by the way that I'm not 'mystified' by your answers. There are things that arouse me in p*rn that if -real- horrify me and kill my libido.

    • Yeah I have no idea what's up with that. I have had all of the stuff that I watch done to me at one point in time or another except deep throat I assume unless I was blacked out at the time... I'm really not sure what that is about. I did actually have human contact last night. Just sitting next to a man I was attracted to turned me into niagra falls. Sick cause I didn't get laid. :(

    • Obviously not enough!

  • I know u said u don't like fisting but yet it turns u on. Don't get me wrong here but I honestly think that all girls would love to have there pussies stretched as far as it can go (to a certain stage) without causing severe actual pain. I have been with my wife since high school (26 years). And we have three children. And although it's only happened a small number of times but if she is real horny and with plenty of lube by the way I have been able to fist her. And I she loved it. And a couple of times she has even fisted herself. One night she laid there and fisted herself for an hour as I sat watching and honestly I don't think I've seen her that turned on In pure pleasure as she forced her hand in over and over again while moaning about how good it feels.
    So dont feel bad. Cause if it's pleasure then go for it.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 8

  • What we're turned on by in our fantasies isn't always what we like in reality. That's why p*rn is popular.

    I do think we run the risk (well the younger folks) of running out of stuff to do since EVERYTHING seems to be on the table from day one.

    Believe it or not, you can follow God and have fantastic sex. They are not mutually exclusive.

    • That's comforting the last guy I dated claimed that he wouldn't do certain things I wanted to do because he was a christian and god said those things were wrong. :(

    • I know I'm late to the party but that guy is an idiot. Do what makes you happy! Life is short

  • I am into pleasing women orally,fingering ,toys and different positions..my main fetish is menstruation and I love women that are horny and want sex and orgasms during their period..

  • Best time to do it.

  • Your ability to pairbond or produce oxytocin is gone. What will you do after you hit the wall 30?

  • Why don't you want it done to you? Is it because you think it is wrong or because you don't like the feelings? I say relax and enjoy it!

    • You're a sicko

  • No reason to feel bad about enjoying that stuff anymore than you should feel bad about enjoying horror films. It's just entertainment, fantasy, whatever...designed to make you feel something. Very normal.

    Why is it that we as a society make sex into something it's not?

  • you sound like a great catch but I don't think you would want a guy like me

  • The best p*rn should excite you until you cum, then leave you feeling disgusted and ashamed and a little humiliated that you liked that sort of thing.

    Don't fret over something that may never happen. I consider myself a good man (never cheated on anyone, never been in jail, never hit a woman, loves his mam and sister and makes a 6 figure salary) and I would consider myself a complete perv in the bedroom.

    You can have both. A guy to satisfy your kinks, and a guy who is a good guy.

    • that is the point though I don't want to do half of the stuff I listed above and it disturbs me that it turns me on. I am comfortable doing anal, rough sex, light submission, I'ed like to try pegging, rimming from time to time, oral of course I love giving blow jobs I miss that... :( I'ts a sad world when a 27 year old kinky attractive blond athlete can't get a date.

    • Too preoccupied with junk not all beautiful women are going to get dates by the way! Maybe you need to work on yourself!

  • What a catch!

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