Sexual Health
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Would you marry a woman who had a lot of sexual partners?

"What's Your Number?" is a movie about a woman who slept with 20 men and finds out women who sleep around rarely end up getting married. My cousin recently told me she had sex with 31 guys. (She's 22 years old.) It reminded me of that movie and prompted me to ask the question... Is this a deal-breaker? If the woman you were dating revealed to you this number, would you think differently of her? I personally can't even imagine having sex with 31 guys in 80 years, never mind 6... but that's just prude ol' me.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • I think it really depends on the person's morals. Of course all guys want to be their lady's first time, but not all guys want to do the same for their future spouse. Personally I wouldn't marry someone who had sex with more than 2 or 3 guys.. 31 guys at the age of 22? You could basically call her a p*rn star..she's getting around and she likes it. That's just not valuable to me. I don't value girls that sleep around a lot or in every relationship they've been in. All that does it creates problems. You always compare the sex with your current partner to your past ex's. I don't want that at all. Sex complicates things and throws away value if you just give it people freely like that. Giving it up easy isn't attractive at all... what it means to me is, you've given that same cootchie to someone else this easy too.. probably to more guys I can count on my fingers. Plus the possibilities of her carrying STD's are likely and that is a "no fly zone" for me.

    I'm not trying to be noble, but I understand that sex can be a very passionate thing and I would like to know that a spouse of mine didn't give it up to so many guys or any if I'm lucky.

    • I really liked your answer because you touched on the fact that sex is passionate and treasured and once the person gives herself away to dozens of men it makes the partner feel less important and more like a number. Thanks!

    • Yeah you're exactly right. Everyone will see it differently obviously but I believe you should protect your body and your heart for that right person. If people did that, they would realize how much more fulfilling sex is knowing that they're not just a number and that you're actually giving yourself to someone you love deeply/ vice versa. No problem! Thanks for BA!

  • I couldn't do it, mostly because I think it stems from their personality. It will leave me wondering if she's capable of commitment and other moral issues. That's not to say I want a virgin, or that men do, but when it's 30, that's kind of a big deal.

    • Agrreeeddd.

Most Helpful Girls

  • 31 guys?! wow

    some guys can look past it but its really about the idea that the whole town been inside a woman you would consider to wife. guys want something not every man can get his hands on otherwise its not original .

    on the flip side a man will f*** 50 women in one year and society sees that as a positive thing, and you have dumb women thinking they can change him or they are the one -.-

    me and my boyfriend would agree as long as she was tested and was clean, it don't matter

    • It's not the same, girls usually require the commitment in a relationship. Meaning that if she had sex with 33 different guys it will imply that she is comparing the previous ones with the new ones in terms of commitment and still craving more. Probably she's in Commitment CRAVING mode and she uses sex as a means to get it, but the more she engages in it the less she gets out of each relationship. A viscious circle, biologically speaking not women weren't built to be promiscuous.

    • I agree with the being tested part, but her emotional needs can put a serious toll on a guy. Also, it isn't because you can afford her that she'll stay faithful to you. In a sense it means she failed 33 times to settle down, from a long term perspective, but if you look at it from a short fling then she got what she wanted 33 times and is still on a roll.

  • I'm in a similar place as your cousin.

    Most guys, see me as "fun for now"

    But one wanted to marry me..

    But I don't want kids.. and I'm not interested in getting married..

    • Yeah, that's one of the things my question doesn't address... what if the girl doesn't want to get married? Then she's not really included in this. Nothing wrong with that. My cousin is the opposite of you though, she actually has a kid already and wants to get married soon.

  • It probably depends on the guy. The older you get, the more guys won't care as much. Also in my experience the only guys who actually care are the younger less experienced ones.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 12

  • The only deal breaker to me is if she was reckless about the way she was having sex.. Unprotected, 18 kids, 42 father figures, a mil in the bank, ya know - those types of gals.

    To me, it matters more about her character; personality, values, intelligence, ambition, etc.

    ~ ArtistBBoy

  • I personally don't have a problem with it. If I like her enough to marry her, it's not going to get in the way.

  • ^_^ my first Girlfriend, f**ked 32 guys before me she was 16 and I was 18. She was an emotional mess, but god she knew what she was doing I can't argue that. I wouldn't marry her.

    • Wow, that's kinda sad I have to say... I'm all for sexually expression & freedom, but something tells me that girl had something deep going on inside and tried to cover it up with attention from guys :(

    • She turned lesbian after reaching number 35 I heard and saw on her Facebook that she was dating a girl. At first I though it was a joke, but once I started looking at the pictures of her and her GF, I noticed that she was as happy as she would ever be.

  • And yet women will still marry experienced men. Sigh. Double standards are a bitch.

    • Oh yeah, for sure. In fact... if a woman did find out a man only had 1-2 sexual partner's, she'd probably judge him for that as well.

    • Probably. It's stupid, isn't it? People make judgements based on gender rather than sexual and emotional needs. Like, a girl might have a super high sex drive, and she'll get judged for acting on it. Or a guy might want to wait for a meaningful relationship, and he'll get judged for waiting!

  • if I were to marry at all, this would not be a factor.

    main factors would be:

    is she cute?

    does she like anal?

    does she like blow-jobs?

    does she have a high enough sex drive to keep my eyes from wandering?

    is her personality alright?

    that's pretty much it.

    • Damn. 4 of your 5 main factors are superficial or sex related. And the other one is making sure her personality is "alright"... There's more to marriage than just sex and looks.

    • i don't get to decide what makes me happy. After some soul searching, this is what it takes. There is no sense in adding additional conditions I'm not actually interested in..

  • Ok, 31 in 6 years is 5 a year. That's only one every 2 1/2 months. Not a HUGE number. If I loved her and those guys helped make her a sexual dynamo, I'd have no problem with it.

  • A girl my age at 31, I wouldn't think much of it honestly. A girl your cousins age I wouldn't touch with a 10 ft poll. It all depends. I have no real "limit" but Id say anything over 50-60 is really pushing it. Have to be a good story... And the reason it is a concern is not the number. Its the behavior of going from guy to guy. Eventually you are just a guy between you and the next guy. Bet she's fun in bed tho ;)

    • I still feel like 31 people at 31 is a lot! But I get what you mean, the time between the guys would be a bit longer at least.. it's not like you'd be the 5th guy that week or anything. Big difference!

  • " ...finds out women who sleep around rarely end up getting married."

    Tell me more about it!

    The only number of hers what I'll accept is one and that one is me!

  • If she didn't care I had had zero. Then yes I would marry her.

  • The number of sex partners per se doesn't bother me.

    Of course, the number (whether high or low) may be an indication of some aspect of her personality, but that's a different issue.

    I wouldn't even be particularly curious to know the number. If she wanted to tell me, I'd be happy to listen though.

    Sex is serious business (emotions, babies, STDs, etc), but it's also an enjoyable activity that people should be happy about.

  • I have never asked a girl how many guys she had slept with before me, The only thing I do ask or mention about the past is when I'm with a girl for the first time is how long ago she last did it and that usually determines how I will push into her, the other thing I do mention to her just before pushing into her is if we are doing it in the dark that my penis might be bigger than her previous partners.

    An ex-gf of mine recently married, she never had a lot of sex in her lifetime but she has had over 50 partners many of whom did her between one and 5 times only. I would have married her if she had given me the chance but she was already 33 and wanted to settle down near immediately while I just wasn't ready for that kind of commitment.

  • I don't care what her number is. The only number I care about is her STD number, which needs to be zero.

  • No, I would not. Not even if someone held a gun to my head.

    • Hahah! Yeah, if I were a guy I'd feel the same.

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