How to take initiative in bed as a guy?

[Anonymous]

This is a question to guys as well as to girls. Though I'm 24 I have had sex only one time. Two days ago I ended up with a girl in bed for the second time after this one time and had the same problem as the first time; I didn't know what to do. Both girls kind of expected me to take initiative. maybe because they would expect a 24-year old guy to have experience. As I don't have sex often I just don't know how to do this. I was not absolutely sure she wanted sex and I'm afraid to just ask 'do you want sex' or 'are we going to f*** now'. Guys, how do you do this? And girls, what do you want guys to do?

[Anonymous]

sorry for the graphic response lol but with me and my boyfriend, when he gets a little horny a lot of the time he'll slowly start to rub me down there to get me worked up and we're making out and such and then sometimes he'll grab my breasts and massage them and put his hand up underneath my shirt if I'm wearing one and eventually we take our clothes off and after that he still rubs me and then he likes to suck on my breasts and squeeze them sometimes while rubbing me too and eventually when we're both ready we just have sex.

Vise Versa when I'm in the mood I'll start messing with his d*** to get him hard and kiss him and such and then when he gets worked up he starts doing what I mentioned above and it all eventually leads to sex.

Although sometimes like when we're just cuddling and spooning and he's behind me and he wants some action he'll slowly start rubbing his d*** on my ass and then reach in front of me and start massaging me etc etc

I really like it when he does that stuff and it turns me on a lot, in general though I'm very attracted to my boyfriend and I'm very much in love with him. Obviously what I've described here shows that we're both comfortable with each other and we've had sex before but as long as the girls want sex then depending on what they like (because its personal preference) they might like what I've described above. And I will say that watching p*rn can also be helpful and give you some new ideas to try and tricks as well.

Again sorry for being graphic but I hope I helped! lol

[Anonymous]

personally, I like if a guy is confident in bed, knows what to do with my body and knows how to please me. if you don't have sex often, watching p*rn could be a big help for you, and you can learn a lot from it. just be confident when you're with a girl, and when you're in bed with her, take over control, forget about all your insecurities, and have fun!

[Jonny_]

I always find it best to start of with kissing and then move onto running my hands over her body... Kissing her neck and so on... If she's not in the mood she'll generally stop you about there if she's a bit more experienced... If she's more innocent she may tell you later, other than that you keep going, I always put my finger half in her waistband, I like doing it because it's kind of teasing, yet I'm being careful and not just going straight into it... After that you just go through foreplay and sex, I tend to generally reach for a condom after foreplay which helps switching between foreplay and full sex...

[Asker]

Thanks for this. A problem was that I lied in my bed and was drunk and almost fell asleep when she stepped into my bed. I think she noticed this, and it might have not turned her on ^^ I'll give it a try next time though

[Jonny_]

Ha no problem, Geez I have fallen asleep during sex when I was drunk... it's OK though, she did as well.

[KingJR]

Well first off, definitely DO NOT ask for sex...Just continue escalating from simple kissing, to make out, to heavy make out, to touching and rubbing, to touching and rubbing the "goodies", to getting undressed until you're both naked and the only logical step is SEX! That's a pretty simplistic way of explaining it but that's generally the basis of how it goes and will serve your general purpose starting out.

[Anonymous]

You really should start it. Get to lean in to her, kiss her, start rubbing her knees, then work your way up. Also, a lot of foreplay will set the mood.