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23 year old male virgin who has never had a girlfriend, am I a loser?

I'm a 23 year old male virgin who has never even kissed a girl. This fact really gets me down and at times I feel completely useless. I'm worried... Show More

Most Helpful Opinion

  • I think whoever told you that, or whatever has put that idea in your head, -they're/that is the loser. Just because majority of people and society has become so run down and lost all sight of morals and "boundaries" so to speak, doesn't mean its not OK to be a virgin or to have never kissed a girl. In fact, its perfectly OK that you haven't. There are many many beautiful and respectful girls out there that would high five you and love to give you the time of day, any day. People generally that are out sleeping around or hooking up, whatever, they're often times not as happy as they may seem...and in a way even kinda feel the way you do, except opposite. They think all they have to offer is a physical relationship because they don't know how to have an emotional one. Its not very hard to know if you can care for something, or if you have a heart, if you do...take pride in that and confidence and with that will come something more than a kiss or just jumping in bed with someone.

What Girls Said 29

  • i think you're fine. you're too hard on yourself

  • No your not I'm 18 and I'm still a virgin - do I see myself as a loser? No - I pride myself on the fact - even if it wasn't for my religious beliefs and my ideology I stillll would save myself for Mr Right. As a young woman it makes me feel closer to the Holy Virgin Mary - I'll nowhere near be as pious as her but it makes me proud like her I'm a virgin. What I'm trying to say to you and the others out there who are virgins-be proud of the fact not ashamed. There are not many virgins out there-take Richard Branson for example why did his boutique in London close down-opeoa bridal outfit store named Virgin Brides - irony lol not many brides are virgins. I'm rambling lpl - at least I got the point across?

    That's what your doing subconsciously saving yourself for Miss Right. Don't lose it under pressure or on a sudden whim. Avoid temptation. As a woman I can tell you like men want a virgin wife/companion us women want a man who is a virgin.

  • You are not a loser. You just need to be more courageous and ask a girl out. Stop being shy aroundwomen. If you dodon't change then you'll be single and virgin forever and that's not very nice lol

  • There's a lot of virgin girls here in GaG. Pick one?

  • I don't think you're a loser and the fact that you're still a virgin is awesome! Sooner or later you will find a girl who deserves to be with you.

    But don't put yourself down.

  • Dude, it's not even that serious.

  • You are not a loser. You're being too hard on yourself. cheer up!

    It will happen when its suppose to happen. I understand you feel frustrated, because you perhaps feel like you're missing out but f*** that lol. sex will ALWAYS be around. It's not going anywhere. When it's your time, then you will have your moment and things will go on from there.

  • Poor guy. You're not a loser to me. You're just a victim of the stupidness of girls who fall for the alpha male. (I'll have to put my self in that group of girls. Can't change the past).

  • Dude, being a virgin at your age is in no way being a loser. In fact it just means you respect yourself and your body. How are you useless? I don't understand why girls or guys say such things. Being a virgin is something you should honor and save until you find the right person to have sex with.

  • i'm not really sure how to help, I can only suggest you just keep trying and talking to more girls. eventually you're going to find one you like and she'll like you back. shy guys are cute, you just have to be yourself and be nice

  • In NO WAY will a girl think you are a loser. I was in your shoes up until 10 days ago and I am also 23. Here's the thing. please don't rush it. lol I was totally convinced that I would die a virgin or something ridiculous like that and just like you I never kissed a guy or even held someones hand! I used to lie about it, until one day I just came to terms with it. Think of it this way, the girl who does get that honor could very well be the luckiest bitch alive! You aren't a loser at all, no woman honestly wants a guy with too many sexual partners anyway. Its gross, but most girls have to settle with a guy who was a sleaze in the past. What I will say that will further solidify you not being a loser and your experience when it happens, is to study up a bit on how to please a woman. Most guys even with experience still can't do that, but if you gain that knowledge now you'll be unstoppable in the bedroom. Good luck!

  • I think that is totally awesome. Your a major hottie just on that fact alone (: It just makes it that much more special when you find the girl you really want. As for the kiss, that's fixable ;D kisses are way more fixable.

  • No. I, as a woman, would think that you have standards and moral values.

  • any girl that thinks you're a loser when you tell her isn't worth being in a relationship with! personally I think its quite sexy when guys have the unexperienced, cute, virgin thing going on.. don't worry x

  • you are absolutely not a loser.

    some girls actually find virginity to be a turn on. please dont listen to anyone who tells you to get a prostitute thats just ridiculous. if you want to talk more about this/want more advice about getting girls without being worried about you lack of experience... private message me

    • i would also like to add that if you live anywhere near ny and you want to kiss a girl, as long as you're a nice guy i would gladly kiss you haha...kissing is fun :)

  • NO WAY only girls who have babys with out a housband but you no soon a girl will come for you

  • well...son, in this generation NO! in fact your a winner...just give one of these gal your number you will see then!

  • personally, I think this "loser" thing is stupid. don't worry about it. you're not a loser. just have confidence in yourself, that's what makes us more interesting,

  • you are not a loser, heck my boyfriend never had a girlfriend before me.

    being a virgin means pure so save it for someone special.

    don't let it get you down, sometimes I wish I was a virgin again lol, just miss the way of things sometimes

  • no, you are still young.

  • You are perfectly describing my boyfriend when I met him. I never thought of him as a loser.

  • Well I'm 22, never had a boyfriend or kissed before and I'm a virgin as well. The thing is you can't let this type if thing get to you because sometimes it is a matter of patience. Perhaps you can try going out and working on your confidence by speaking to women, and then build friendships first. You also shouldn't let what your friends think bother you, there's nothing wrong with being in your situation, when it happens it will be special.

  • Your not a loser. A girlfriend won't necesarily fall into your lap!

    It's not a bad shout with an escort, and the only reason I say that is becuase she could do all the work if you like. Or you can see it as practice for you. It will get the first time out the way and could make you feel more comfortable and ready for the next time.
    I wouldn't usually say something like that but your freinds know you well and perhaps it's an OK idea.
    BUT keep it clean! Go somewhere reputable and use protection and get checked afterwards.

    I don't blame you not ageeing with your mates either, maybe just get yourself out there.
    Go out with your mates and talk to girls, you never know what might come of it unless you try.

  • That's awesome, actually. It lets us know that you haven't been giving it away to every girl you meet. And you're clean. It's really hard to find that these days. Don't worry. I'm 22 and I've only had one real boyfriend. Only kissed three people.

  • just do you

  • No way!

    My current boyfriend was a virgin last year at the age of 23. He had six girlfriends and was still a virgin. Mainly because he was born and raised in an Islamic country that looks down on premarital sex. He got drunk one night and lost his virginity to a promiscuous girl who ended up sleeping with his friend the next week. Little did he know, one year later he would have met me :) We met at work. I am a 20 year old virgin, model, and generous to a fault. Our chemistry was instant. Life even felt better when he was in my presence even if we weren't talking to each other, but I knew he was in the room. We are both equally selfless and love to please and pamper each other with massages and all kinds of delightful tender affection. He told me he's never had a girlfriend who actually gives as much as he was willing to give them. He also said that he regretted giving away his virginity to "some slut he didn't even care about" and he should have saved it. I get the impression that deep down, he wishes he would have saved it for me.

    Anyway, being 23 and a virgin male does not make you a loser. I think it's noble and very admirable because so many guys go out and have sex just to fit in, feel accepted, or because they simply lack self-control. Think of it this way; you have elimitated your risks of STD's and unprepared, unplanned pregnancy. You have not had to cut off your youth because sexuality got in the way and made you grow up early. And THE RIGHT GIRL will feel so special that she gets to share that experience with you.

  • You're definitely NOT a loser

  • No you're not

What Guys Said 14

  • Some might, of course. but there are a lot of virgin girls out there your age who would think your also being one would be a big plus.

    Jon clubs for people with your interests..sooner or later you'll meet a virgin girl who doesn't want to die curious!

  • gotta do the work

  • I think it comes down to the effort you put into it. Maybe you're not great looking or what ever the issue is but there are women that would be interested. Maybe open your mind to who you would be interested to give yourself more options.

  • First, accept it's not women but you that is the problem. If you don't accept control over your situation then you'll never have the power to change it. Second, do not wait around for the right girl to fall into your lap... if you do you're going to be so oblivious to the situation that she's going to slip right through your finger tips.

    Lastly... this pussy footing needs to be forgotten.

    Shyness is a disease. Learn to face your fears. If you look stupid or make a fool of yourself in the process; good! It's the only way you'll ever learn it doesn't matter. Take a hit then go take another and another until you no longer flinch.

  • Loser? No, not in the slightest.

  • Not all people are meant to have a significant amount of sex. It's simply the course of evolution that some members of the species will be more successful than others. Trying to fight this is like trying to beat gravity. Analogously, maybe you can beat it if you build a rocket, meaning using intelligence to change your personality from a shy, quiet guy into a confident and charming bachelor. Not easy obviously but you either try your best to just keep talking to women and improve until you're good, or you give up and write depressing GAG rants.

  • Bro, you aren't a loser. Being shy is really bad and women pick up on that really quick.

    DO NOT go to a hooker.

    Just keep trying, maybe find a guy friend that can be your mentor/wingman. Also always have a nice hair cut, dress well, and smell good.

  • Sounds like you might be setting your sights a bit high. I've had friends like that in the past, they moan about never getting any girls yet they're 5 foot tall chubby nerdy guys and they're only chasing the borderline supermodels...duh.

    And what do you mean you don't like the "Bar/club scene"? There is no one scene. There's a variety of places out there. Pubs are where people meet people. Not going to pubs cuts you off from a shit tonne in life. You don't have to drink. But getting out there and doing some leg work is key.

  • I don't consider you a loser, but you have to work harder at your game if that's what you want (a girlfriend).

  • I don't think so, but unfortunately most girls WILL... it's just a fact.

  • sadly to most girls the answer is yes because most girls want a guy who has been pre selected

  • Well, you don't have to tell her.

    Here's the thing. You could have great looks, great intelligence, great personality, great job... but, if you don't have confidence, you're not going to get a girlfriend.

    Self-doubt is like a bad smell. It will turn off girls immediately.

  • i am also in the same situation n i feel like the fucking world is on top of me whenever my friends bring that up

  • Don't worry bro. I was in your exact same situation last year. I was 24 and never kissed or had a girlfriend. I managed to get my first kiss in March and my first girlfriend around June. I finally lost my virginity in September. It can happen. Don't lose hope yet1

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