Anyone else feel kind of gross after a hookup?

[bumblebeebabe]

So I went all the way - and more than once - three times to be exact with basically a guy I had just met. It was essentially for me because I had not had sex in over four months and was missing sex with my ex boyfriend who I was in love with and had great sex with. So the sex with the random guy - had it 3 times - the first time was kind of thrilling - my first hookup ever (had 2 sexual partners before and loved both) - the second was pretty good also and the third - I just felt completely and totally used and like just someone to fulfill another's desires - on call - like a desperate little girl - as the guy I hooked up with didn't hang with me except for hooking up. Its been a few weeks but the hookups still really bother me. I am bothered too as he told some of his friends and they even confronted me and it was just awkward. Any tips for me to not feel as guilty or slutty or anyone can relate? Im 20 by the way.

[Nerdvana]

Sorry, never have. I have been in your shoes. But I am open about sex and it does not skew my perception of sex. It sounds like you might be letting society tell you how you should feel. Sex is bad, you a bad person as a woman if you like sex, you are wrong if you a girl likes masturbation. Bubblebeebabe your an adult, you have the right to make your own decisions. I know a lot of men and woman how have hooked up and are OK with it. Please don't feel bad or guilty. Especially don't feel slutty. (which I personally do not see as a bad thing. lol) You did nothing wrong. Your young, you will out grow it. Sometimes masturbation is not enough. Just be safe and responsible. Have fun. Sex is great.

[martyfellow]

Most of us have done things like this when we are missing our partner after a long time together...

These people don't have the right to comment on your behavior; they have done much worse things, in all likelihood.

Just tell them it's not their business!

We've mostly learned that meaningless sex leaves guilt and not good memories.

[Betwyn]

Sometimes I do.. sometimes I don't.

I often feel this overwhelming need to be touched.. to be had... and for a time.. it makes me feel better... but sometimes, it fades slowly and naturally.. and I'm ok...

Other times.. its like.. a crash.. and I feel horrible.. like my inner being is falling apart.. like.. chunks of me are breaking off.. falling away...

But.. if I don't give into my needs.. my desires.. If I don't take these risks.. I feel all swirly in my head.. like everything is sliding away from me.. like I'll always be alone..

[Hyped_up_on_coffee]

you used him for sex too by the sounds of it

[bumblebeebabe]

Maybe so - but at the same time, I didn't tell people of us as we agreed and also I thought we liked each other too and would have a relationship. but the only time he'd hangout with me was late at night and wed hook up.

[Hyped_up_on_coffee]

You only feel bad because you expected something out of it... you should never ever expect anything out of hook ups because chances are its just for sex

[abw121290]

I think you both used each other to get what you wanted... nothing really wrong with that, as long as you realize it.

[jacquesvol]

I had hookups between girlfriends.

Some became girlfriends, others left me a hangover. No STI or pregnancy, I'm the prudent kind of guy. Just a bad feeling.

Sometimes because I had set to low standards that time. Sort of guilt towards myself thus. Other times because she was emotionally more attached than I was and I didn't want to continue. Sort of guilt towards her thus.

I was 18-20 then.

Then I met that one who was different...we're still together.

[jacquesvol]

To be honest, some left very good feelings to both too. But then it often became a multiple night stand, a relationship instead of an ONS.

[flukee]

i never tried hookup i want to know about the feel

[Anonymous]

If you feel gross, don't engage in them

[Anonymous]

I like hook ups.