Sexual Health
+1 y

What is the best way to be prepared for the first time?

I've been thinking about when my boyfriend and I are going to have sex for the first time. I'm a virgin for the record, but he is very sexually experienced, so I expect him to be prepared when the time comes for us to have sex (condoms, lube, etc.). I am considering whether or not I should start taking birth control pills so that whenever we do decide to start having sex, we won't have to worry about having expired condoms or anything. Another reason is because I want him to be able to come inside of me for my first time (maybe I'm weird, but I think that would be so amazingly intimate for both of us...I'm scared of getting pregnant though). However, I don't want to freak him out or anything by telling him I'm gonna start taking it which obviously means I plan on having sex in the near future. He once saw a package of birth control in my bathroom trash which was actually my sister's and was surprised and a little uneasy when he thought it was mine for some reason -- probably because at the time, we were early in the relationship but now we're going on 9 months and the time is probably nigh. Girls, how did you handle this when you lost your virginity? And guys, how did you contribute to the whole deal -- did you provide the condoms or expect the girl to be prepared?
We used condoms only.
Vote A
We used birth control only.
Vote B
A combination of both.
Vote C
Bareback or pull-out method.
Vote D
Still a virgin, see results.
Vote E
Select gender and age to cast your vote:
Girl Guy
Updates:
+1 y
The answers to the poll question should be regarding what you used the first time you had sex (if anything)...I didn't mean to title the question like it is and I would repost the question but I've already asked 3 today and you can't delete/edit them anyway, which is pretty dumb.
0 0

Most Helpful Girls

  • Even though he will *probably* be prepared safety wise, it is best that you are too. If used correctly, condoms are extremely effective. But if you are able, it would certainly not hurt at all to start using birth control. If you use the pill and condoms together and as directed, it would be pretty miraculous if you managed to get pregnant.

    The first time I had sex we only used a condom because I literally didn't plan on doing it until it was happening. We only had sex twice though, it was just a bit of a fling. But when I got into a long term relationship about a year and a half ago, I started taking the pill. It really creates less stress in my life. I'd highly recommend it. Something I will warn you of though that you may not get the best kind for you on the first try. Sometimes you have to try a few different kinds until you find one you're pleased with, so don't get discouraged.

    I also admire you for thinking this through in advance and being responsible.

    • I never jump into things without thinking them through a great deal first, especially something as life-altering as having sex can be. I don't want any kids. I just want to be well prepared and safe when I start having sex so that I can almost guarantee I don't end up pregnant. How long does it take for your body to adjust to birth control, would you say, from your experience? I am making an estimate that I will be having sex at some point after the next three months have passed.

    • It's different for everyone, but for me I had a weird experience over a three week time span. When I was supposed to get my period I got it...and it just kept going...for three weeks. I called my gyno and she said as long as it was just light bleeding not to worry about it. And it turned out fine, and everything was actually completely normal after that. Some people experience other symptoms and for longer periods of time, but that was just me. Fun stuff, huh?

    • That would suck! What brand did you use? What a bizarre bodily reaction...

    • Show All

  • My first time we just used a condom because I wasn't on the pill at that time, we both knew I was eventually going to happen but it did happen unplanned so condoms were the only method available. Now we just use the pill after all we are in a serious committed relationship so any std or anything is out of the question. Good luck on your first time. :)

    • Well, what I'm saying is, that it might be a good idea for me to go ahead and get on the pill so that, in case of a surprise sexual encounter, I will be prepared. We may not have access to condoms at the time, and if I'm on the pill, that would take much of the worry out of the equation.

  • Use condom! if you are not planning on getting a baby soon, best to also take the pill or get a spiral (even safer). Your guy is an angel. He stays with you for 9 months without sex? Rock his world, please. Watch p*rn and learn so you can give him the time of his life. He deserves it...

    • What's a spiral? Never heard the term before. And yes, he really is an amazing guy...I couldn't ask for a better partner, let alone a first-time boyfriend. I scored big time. ;)

Most Helpful Guys

  • Anyone who uses bareback/pull out is f***ing dumb.

    It's best to have both really, even for later sexual adventures until you want a kid.

    As for your first time as a girl, couldn't answer that, best to just take things very slow and a lot of time to make sure you're sufficiently lubricated. But I do hope you're not rushing into sex at all. Not sure how long you've known him for, but I wouldn't assume he's 100% truthful yet if you've only known him a few weeks or months.

    • I agree that it might not be the best or safest choice outside a monogamous relationship, but this method can also be used with spermicides following the woman taking the morning after pill. This will not, however, protect from any STDs that may result, and I doubt it would yield effect results on a regular basis either...but who knows, some people just have blind dumb luck.

    • It doesn't matter what else it can be used with, it's extremely stupid.

    • Yeah, it is, I agree.

  • First of all don't stress out too much about the pregnancy risk. If used correctly condom fail rate is 2% and that of the pill 0.3%. Ofc you have to use it correctly but if used in the right way pregnancy risks are very small.

    Normally you won't need lube unless for a very long "session".

    But maybe use both anti conception methods so you don't worry about pregnancy and can just enjoy it ;).

    • I was just talking about lube for things outside of just sex -- like handjobs or whatever, and condoms sometimes make things dry, so lube would be good to have on hand just in case. And yes, the combination of both is the safest method. Thanks for your input.

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What Girls & Guys Said

2 4

  • My first time was bareback and he ejaculated inside me. I've always had unprotected sex and only methods I have used is the spermicide creams and the morning after pill.

    • Really? And did you ever get pregnant or contract any STDs from it? Just curious, as these methods are thought to be out of date by today's standards due to their apparent lack of effectiveness and reliability.

    • One pregnancy nine years ago which produced the most wonderful girl any mother could ask for! Do not know who the father is as 7 different guys ejaculated several times in me that night, but I have never wanted to know and quite sure none of those guys would have wanted to know. Never an STD, did get Chlamydia from a guy one time, but one visit to doctor and some meds and all was well very soon.

    • Only one pregnancy and you didn't use the pill or condoms ever? Lucky I guess, and also not very fertile. Not std's though is very unlikely that's for sure lol. Although, what girl doesn't like it better without a condom and who wants to take the pill? Being prepared not to get AIDS or get pregnant is smart I think.

    • Show All

  • Many women use both. The condoms also protect you from diseases, which the pill will not.

    • Yes, the combination of both is without question the safest way to go, and I'm not about to take any risks as far as becoming pregnant -- but I've known my boyfriend for at least 5 years and we've been in a serious relationship for 9 monthsI I trust him fully and without a doubt I believe he is clean, and I know I'm clean obviously, so that's why I suggested the birth control since it is so effective and reliable. I will still need to discuss it with him though.

    • The only flaw in your logic is that many guys are positive for hpv, and have no symptoms.

    • I didn't consider that. And there is no reliable test, apparently, so you're right...definitely something to look out for even if it pretty common and not necessarily harmfully to women.

  • Condoms are only like 80% effective when used correctly. I would get on birth control if you don't want to be pregnant. Used correctly its over 99% effective.

    • I already know that. I guess I should have titled the question "How did you prepare for your first time?" I'm just trying to gather insight on other perspectives, not really looking for information necessarily. Thank you for your answer though!

    • My first time I used a condom. I always used condoms until my first serious relationship.

    • Condoms are a hell of a lot more effective than 80% when used correctly.

  • What did you end up doing? We used a condom the first time but without is so much better.

  • Use lubes and condoms.

  • He just used a condom. Then for awhile, no condom was used and it was just withdrawal. Then I went on the patch. Stopped that because I was getting headaches. Then was on birth control pills but stopped because I got a blood clot from them. Then it was back to condoms and withdrawal till I got the copper IUD which is amazing!

    • Wow, that sucks :/ I would hate to jump back and forth like that.

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