Man didn't ejaculate during sex: is it the woman's performance fault?

I had sex with a new partner for the first time but it turned out badly for him because he didn't ejaculate.

Before we had sex, he was really confident about himself, he said that he had a high sex drive, that he's good in bed, that I'm attractive and I may not be able to handle him during sex because I look petite.

I didn't expect much for a first time, I was aroused and lubricated, my sex appeal was good.

After we had sex, he said that he wasn't satisfied about the experience and he will never have sex with me again, because:

-my pubic hair turned him off

-i didn't give him a blowjob

-He couldn't rub my clitoris (he was kind of rough with his fingers).

Is there something wrong with MY performance?

Is it HIS performance / sexual expectations that has a problem?

How does he truly feel?

 

What's Your Opinion?

0/2000

Most Helpful Opinion

  • This guy is a d!ck who doesn't care about YOU as a person at all. To him, you were simply a sex partner, and he expects his sex partners to fit a specific standard and he has no room for variation.

    He's doing you a HUGE favor by not having sex with you, and you'd do yourself a huge favor by never communicating with him again. He thinks the universe revolves around him, and has no remorse about his ultra-selfishness. You don't need that.

    Every sex partner is different, and as a guy, ever girl is going to be a little different. Some girls really like certain things that the next girl won't, and vice versa. You have to learn your girl and adjust what you do with her. Maybe, gradually over time, she'll learn to like certain things that she didn't before, and maybe not. Either way, you have to expect that it will take some time to "tune in" to her desires and her body's needs. This guy had no intention of changing anything about himself to suit you, and that's definitely not the kind of guy you should be sharing your body (or time) with.

    • I tolerated all that thing of having casual sex with him, hoping that one day he may develop feelings for me, even if he didn't, we still had a good time. But what I didn't tolerate is that he deprived me of love, affection, and sex. I was having free sex with him because of love not because of money or lust or anything. I felt that he crossed the boundary and it was too much, so I ended the "friendship". Thanks for your advice :)

    • I was about to adjust myself for him, such as shaving my vagina and was considering watching some p0rn to see how sucking is supposed to be, but naturally, it's really not my thing to do it. And my clitoris is sensitive and I don't like being rubbed harshly down there. He had an urge to f* me, I told him that we should wait to find a bed or a decent place, he couldn't wait and we ended up having sex on the floor. The next day he complained that his knees hurt. I was tolerating all that.

What Guys Said 2

  • It's not your performance. It's just that he can't come because he's belittling you

  • I think he was being honest but he's a cad for being that way. He's entitled to his preferences--hell, I even share some of them--but that's no reason for him to be so rude. If you're willing to compromise, get waxed and learn to give good head. If he's too rough, tell him to lighten up. I feel like you can do a lot better. Maybe next time you can talk about your preferences and his before the clothes come off. Just ask him what he likes in terms of hygiene and practices and share your preferences. Just for the record, most girls I'm with do wax and give good head.

    • ok thanks for your advice! :)

What Girls Said 2

  • No, it's not your fault! With his attitude, he should be glad he's getting any p*ssy at all!

    A. Pubic hair, not really a big deal. I prefer to shave, but that's my personal choice. I feel like guys shouldn't have a say in how women groom themselves. Just be glad you're getting some and be done with it...HIS FAULT.

    B. Oh no! You didn't give him a blowjob! Can I ask, did he eat YOU out? If not, and you were willing, then he should not be bitching at all. BJs are nice, but some women are not comfortable with it, you shouldn't force a woman into doing it if she doesn't want to. So if you didn't want to, either because you're not comfortable, because he's not groomed, or because he didn't offer to eat you out, then too bad for him...HIS FAULT for expecting something that isn't guaranteed. There is no law that says sex must include a BJ

    C. He couldn't rub your clit? I'm sorry, but how can he not rub your clit? And then somehow make it your fault...? That, to me, sounds like he couldn't FIND your clit because he's maybe never been with a woman before so he was just generally rough and hoped he was near the right spot...HIS FAULT.

    Are there things about your performance that could improve? Yeah, probably. Most people have something they can improve on. But can I ask you if YOU finished? Because if not, he's not as skilled as he claims to be.

    Your performance was probably at least OK, I mean, all guys need to come is a hole to thrust into for a decent period of time. It's possible that he didn't finish because you don't do what he's used to and he has trouble finishing if certain things aren't done. I f*cked a guy that probably jerks off WAY too much, because I had to manhandle his d*ck for him to even stay hard, much less cum. No p*ssy is that tight to keep the pressure on his c*ck high enough to make him cum! It could be a situation like that. Maybe he just has a hard time cumming in general. He might be stressed, think too much, have too much pressure on him, or like I said be too accustomed to his hands. It's certainly something guys don't want to admit, when they have trouble finishing or when they can't satisfy women in bed. Aaaand if he's a douche and won't admit his own faults, he'll likely blame the whole bad experience on his partner.

    If you're self-conscious about your skills in bed and don't know what to do with a man, honestly, watch some p*rn. And also, find another guy, preferably an understanding one who likes pleasing women, to practice with (practice is so much fun!) because this one sounds like an assh*le.

    Good luck!

    • thanks.

      After the sex, he said that we can still hang out as friends even if we don't have sex. That he was way pass the sex. That our relationship wasn't based on sex.

      I don't know if he was trying to give me an ultimatum for sex?

      Or that he just wanted a one night stand?

      If he just wanted to be my friend at the first place, he shouldn't have sex with me?

      I'm confused. :(

  • He sounds like a class A a**hole

    It's your preference to give oral or not, for the pubic hair, did you shave or trim?

    and him not being able to rub your clit is your fault

    he sounds egotistical and stupid, I wouldn't have sex with him if I were you.

    • thanks for your advice

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