Sexual Health
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Is this considered harassment? What should I do?

First of all, I´m a 23 year old girl who doesn´t dress in revealing clothing. I go to school every morning and in the same block where my school is located, there are a group of men in their 30s/40s who, 4 months ago when I started school, started staring at me when I walked by. At first I was annoyed, but I ignored them and just let it be. I thought with time they were going to notice I have to walk down that street to either go to work or school and they were going to stop annoying me. Well, I was mistaken, that didn´t happen. They are always standing in front of the place where they work and when I walk by, they say "hi, why don´t you smile a bit", they whistle, they laugh at me, and they do this so that everyone around can notcies and I end up feeling like an idiot. I started walking across the street so that they would stop, but today they did the same thing from across the street! and they were really loud and everyone looked at me as if it was my fault! Now I´m honestly afraid of walking down that street, but I have to because my school is there! it is not fair that I have to walk a couple more blocks and create a new route just because these a***les decided to bother me. I am a free human being and I am not provocative nor am I doing something wrong. I deserve to walk down any street I want without having some guys hollering at me. I talked to my parents about this and they told me I need to smile and lighten up. I seriously can´t believe it, it makes no sense, they already treat me as a whore, if I smile at them, they will porbably rape me. I am honestly angry and afraid. Can I call the cops on them? they need to learn how to respect women. One thing is when a guy tells you you are pretty, another different thing is what these guys do, which is disgusting. They don´t really say sexual things, they just make fun of me, say hello really loud in an ironic way, they whistle, etc. I feel so abandoned because I feel no one understand this, they make me feel as if somehow it´s my fault and I am doing something wrong and I deserve it. What is the right thing to do? Should I do something? I don´t think ignoring them is the right thing to do because even if they don´t do anything physical to me, someday they may get crazy and do it. If I walk down another street to avoid them, I would be doing what they want which is acting like a defenseless little girl compared to them big machos. It´s honestly disguting. There is this murder case going on right now where I live where this girl used to walk down a street everyday and this guy aways told her something disgusting and inappropiate. One day the girl disappeared and five days later he confessed he had killed her because she wouldn´t let him rape her. It all started when he would stand in the street everyday hollering at her and other girls in the neighborhood.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • From a legal point of view, these guys haven't broken any laws. They've not touched you or threatened you, so there's not much you can do about this of any real substance. That doesn't mean you can't report this to the police, and maybe they can send a car by to have a talk with those guys. You might want to mention the incident in your last paragraph, to help motivate them to do something.

    You're a young, pretty girl, and you don't have to dress in a provocative way for guys to notice that, and find you attractive. These guys are teasing you, and by you reacting (acting embarrassed or upset), you are actually feeding into that. It may be too late to change that much now, but in the future, a wry smile and a "thanks but no thanks, guys" might have ended it the first day. Even if you're scared, don't show fear, and you'll be better off.

    • Are they teasing? Isn't it really flat out harrassment? Such behavior would not be tolerated in a workplace. Why do we tolerate it on the streets? What you need is a Sicilian uncle with a New Jersey accent who can beat some sense into their skulls. Until then, take another route to school.

    • I think it is harassment and I should not be told to "lighten up". And being attractive or not attractive should not make a difference. I hate it when peopel tell me, if you get embarrassed its your fault and it will make them want to annoy you more, it makes no sense, of course I get annoyed. I hope the same thing happens to their daughters when they are my age. Lets see if they think they should "lighten up".

    • I'm not telling you to "lighten up". I'm telling you that, under the law, they've not done anything illegal. I DID still suggest reporting it, and asking the police to talk to them. At least that starts a paper trail, if nothing else. The other part was just explaining the guys' mentality, and showing you how to defuse such issues in the future.

  • One thing not mentioned yet that I will suggest is talking to someone at school about it, like a counselor.. They may be able to give you some suggestions. Or they may be able to talk with them. But quite important is the fact that they may be doing this to others. If the school has gotten other complaints they may get together with the police to see about bringing it to and end.

    • Thanks for the suggestion and for understanding in the first place

Most Helpful Girl

  • You know what you can do...Get juvenile with them... when they all stop to stare you. You do the same and do the staring thing back at them. Do this for half a minute. Then yell at them and shout.. F ...K OFF, Go suck your own d...ks.. and give them a middle finger... and run away as quick as you can.

    • Use your mobile phone and take a picture when every time when this happens.

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What Girls & Guys Said

5 2

  • You should probably call the police and ask to press charges. I say that only because if I tell you that you seem to be an anal retentive terminal virgin you will just be annoyed with me. Maybe if the police tell you to grow up and act your age you will receive it better. Your parents told you exactly right, lighten up, smile,be polite and friendly.

  • it is harassment,but it's legal,you can't call the cops.

    • here's something that might help you,maybe just so you don't feel alone,or maybe you can get some advice there link link

  • yes, call the police.

  • You need to report that.

  • yeah, press charges

  • yes it is, call the police

  • try just saying hi back & being friendly when that happens

    since you have already established a pattern of acting embarrassed beat them to their own game...holla at them before they can to you

    also lets stop the whole 'Everyone is gonna rape/kill/kidnap me" 24hr media shock world. the type of thing you see on the news are the very miniscule rarity. 99.9999999999999999999999999999999% of people aren't out to get you

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