Would you wear a corset and stockings just cause your boyfriend asked?

My boyfriend and I met in FL on a long weekend, and we currently live almost 1000 miles apart. Since we started dating while I am away (I am going back to where he lives in few months), we are trying to keep things alive by talking online/Skyping almost every day. Everything was going well, until we managed to have him fly out here to visit me. Ever since we established that he is coming here, he has been a bit too demanding in his requests. For example, when we were talking last night, he said something like "go buy a corset and stockings, and some baby oil." I was like WOAH HOLD UP. And trust me, I am not prude, and I love having sex, but stuff like that really makes me nervous and intimidates me. I felt bad expressing that to him though, cause I don't want him to think that I am boring and that I am not willing to put a little extra effort for the one weekend we have together in a few-month span. I am planning to honor his request and get dressed up that one time, but do you think it would be really bad for me to tell him how I feel about that stuff afterwards? Like the next day or something? I don't want him to think I am not willing to try new things, I just get nervous about weird sex accessories and all that kinky stuff :/ If you were a guy, and a girl told you she was not into that stuff, would that be a huge turn-off or a deal-breaker if you were? If you are a girl, would you try something like that to please your guy, or would you bring it up that you don't want to do that stuff ever again? Thanks for any help!


Most Helpful Guy

  • stockings are a weird sex accessory? or kinky?

    If it makes you uncomfortable at some point you need to discuss it, but this is pretty vanilla.

    Now he did request it in a pretty demanding way, but a lot of women -like- that when things are going well.

    On the other hand sex shouldn't be just about what he wants the entire time. I'd hope you'd be happy to do something you know would excite him, but I'd also hope you'd have things you want too, or a style of sex you'd like to also have over the weekend.

    If a girl told me she was 'not into that stuff', I might try to ask and find out whether lingerie is a specific or she really just ... is vanilla as hell. That might be an issue. Overall sex drive compatibility is even more of one.

    • Thanks for your comments, this is very helpful! I guess I am just worried that if I do this once just to please him, I will be really nervous and won't enjoy myself, and he will expect even more of that stuff afterward, and I really don't want that. I guess maybe I am really vanilla lol. It's just that in my culture, all that extra stuff (even the most vanilla stuff) is looked really bad upon, like you are a whore. And I LOVE having sex, so our drives are compatible, just not the "extra" stuff.

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    • Yeah, I guess maybe telling him is the best option, & see how he reacts. And I probably would have already told him, but it's so hard to say anything to each other because I hate having these kinds of discussions over text/Skype, I'd really rather do it in person. But I also don't want to wait to tell him it makes me uncomfortable, cause he is so excited. Should I tell him over Skype before he comes here? Or wait until he gets here? Or until after we do it? I just don't want to ruin our weekend.

    • I just saw your additional comments. This is actually SUPER helpful and gave me some confidence to not be afraid to express myself. I guess I am just so worried about disappointing him so early on, that I was scared to just kind of be me. I will try my best to tell him how I feel :) Thanks again for very helpful feedback!

What Guys Said 4

  • I'm the kind of guy that is willing to do anything to please my girl. If it's really going to turn her on, or get her off, I will do it. Seriously, she'd pretty much just need to ask. The things I won't do are limited to a VERY small number of things. Everything else, I'd do. If it's particularly shocking, I might need to discuss it, but chances are, I'd still do it.

    If a girl would not be willing to do things for me, then it wouldn't be an outright deal breaker for me, but I can't deny, it would definitely be at least a little disappointing. Especially since I would do anything for her. I also don't think something as simple as a corset or stockings are all that wild of a request, since it's ultimately just clothes.

    That said, I do have some other views on this. Yeah, I see you're uncomfortable with this stuff, and I do think it's pretty great that you're at least willing to try it once. I also think that if she actually tried something I asked, and she said it wasn't her thing, I think I'd respect that. Because hey, at least you've tried it. At that point it's something you've tried, and you know what you like. Y'know?

    Yeah, I'm not a girl, so I imagine my post might fall on deaf ears... or rather blind eyes. Still, here it is. That's my thoughts on this.

    • I think my guy is kinda similar, it seems he would do anything for me. And I don't want him to think that I won't, hence why I am willing to try this one time. But I am definitely super nervous about it, the corset, the stockings, the baby oil... I just can't find myself in all that stuff, I don't know how he will expect me to act or what to do... I guess the technicality of it scares the heck out of me that I will be too nervous and awkward and he will be disappointed :/

      Appreciate your help!

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    • Thanks, yeah I was planning to try it on before he gets here, since I bought the corset and the stockings online, I want to make sure I look OK in them lol. Maybe I am being nervous for nothing, I guess because I have never done anything like this it is really scary, but maybe it will be OK. And hopefully he will try to make me feel less nervous and more excited :) Thanks again for the help!

    • It does kinda seem like nothing, from my perspective, too. Because, the way I see it, it's really just clothes.

  • Corset and stockings kinky or weird?

    I can’t say I have ever heard that corset and stockings are kinky or weird sex items I always thought of them as sexy seductive lingerie and a big turn on.

    Add a garter and some heels and you become a killer! You don’t get them all in black leather!

    Now if you hang a strap on from your waist or get a whip, gag and mask OK now maybe kinky and weird.

    But a sexy outfit “NOT!”

    But be careful you might like looking really sexy hot!

    • I guess you are right, the outfit itself maybe is not that bad... Maybe I am just more concerned about the demanding way in which he requested it? I am a VERY independent woman, and I hate when people tell me what to do. Of course I want to excite and please my partner, but I absolutely hate being forced to do anything I don't like. Am I just being too sensitive about this? I really don't want to be, and I don't want to be boring, I am just SUPER nervous and scared I'll disappoint him :/

    • I agree and this maybe this is something you will need to address! It maybe that he is looking for a submissive woman to take and do with as he pleases and or is looking to be a dom. But then again some were along the lines he may have got the idea that you were a dominate woman and he will be your slave and was just letting you know that he will dress his part! So that is something you may need to watch for and decide.

  • Try something you have not done. I am sure there are some things that may be off limits for you (for me it is anal sex) but you should be open minded to a few things.

    Stockings are not unusual. Neither is role playing.

    When I met my current GF, she had not done a few things. I paid attention to her feet and kissed them a lot and now she absolutely loves it. And she likes to dress up and role play too. So sometimes you might discover something that you might not have thought you would enjoy but you actually do after all.

    I have been turned down on certain things, and even if disappointed, I go and find something we both can have fun doing.

    Good luck.

    • Thanks for the feedback. I am glad to hear that guys don't just leave when a girl says "no" to something they want to try lol. I guess I am trying to find a balance between really hating all that extra stuff and not being completely boring and unwilling to compromise. I think it might be a bit of a cultural thing, I grew up in a culture that views any of that extra stuff as whore-ish and p*rn-like. I really enjoy sex, any position, I just don't like the extra stuff. But I guess I will try once!

What Girls Said 7

  • Sounds a bit early in this relationship to be starting this kind of stuff. I would think if sex was in order he would just like to be passionate and romantic for a first meeting after several months apart. I would be very very cautious of this guy! My opinion

  • I'd do it. It's not really that kinky, I have both those things in my closet anyway...

  • It is kind of weird the way he said it I guess, but a corset and stockings aren't weird. My guy loves me to wear sexy things for him and often asks me to wear certain outfits like a nurse or whatever, and I told him I'll wear whatever he wants but he has to buy me it, and he's OK with that. If it pleases him what's wrong with wearing something sexy in the bedroom?

    • The thought of sexy outfits themselves doesn't freak me out, but I guess his demanding tone and the fact that he seems so excited about it kinda freaked me out. It makes me feel like I am being forced to do something I don't find exciting, and I am honestly scared I will disappoint him by not being sexy enough or wild enough or whatever. I feel like if I try this, he will expect more, and if I do this, I will have a hard time saying "no" later :/

  • I've done it before, but if you're uncomfortable with it, just tell him. You shouldn't do anything you don't want to do.

  • i would do it

  • if I don't want to do it I wouldnt.

  • well I think the way he said it was bad but if you aren't comfortable you shouldn't do it.