Sexual Health
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Help, I am a 25 year old virgin?

Okay, I am in a serious crisis in my life. I am 25 years old and I have never been with a woman. It is not that I am ugly, I am 6'1'' and I have a swimmer's built. In fact, I get checked out by women often. For example, yesterday, I was at the mall and I saw this girl checking me out. This was not always my case, and I believe that is why I am in this situation. When I was in high school and even in my early years in college, girls were never interested in me so I was never able to get a girlfriend and obviously have sex. So, now that I feel I can attract a woman, I feel she will not want to be with me once she finds out I have never been with a woman because most guys my age have been with plenty of women. It is this situation that is preventing me from getting a girlfriend. For instance, at work there is this girl that seemed like she liked me and I liked her too. We started to talk and I even thought of asking her out but I backed down at the end because if we did go out, she would eventually find out I have never been with a woman and might get reject me and she might tell co workers about my situation and I would be incredibly embarrass. I don't know what to do with my problem.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • There's a few things you need to know, buddy.

    1. Don't tell women you're a male virgin, unless you're at church and it's a gal you're interested in marrying. Or if you're at a strip club. I've heard some stories about how the girls act when they find out an attractive male virgin is there... it's highly entertaining for the guy, to say the least.

    2. Dating is a lot like low level jobs that pay $7.25-$10 per hour range. It seems tough when you're applying, etc. Once you're on the job? Easy peasy.

    3. It's not that important right away, sex. Most girls can't even get off on hookups, it takes them time. I know it's a little tougher for guys--there's exercises you can do to keep longer, and make sure you read how to use your mouth. Did you know girls fake orgasm more with more confident/alpha type guys? Meaning, if a girl's into you, she'll even fake it to make the sex better just to make you feel great about yourself/her.

    4. Make sure you learn basic game. The rationalmale blog is a good place to start. It's complex, frustrating stuff--but most of us don't need to learn tons, unless you want to pickup a new girl every night. Learning some goes a long way.

    So, no stress! If you want to date, learn what you need, and go pursue girls. If you don't, don't. You know what they call a guy who never married, but otherwise takes care of himself? "Playboy, bachelor." You know what they call women who never married? "Spinster, cat lady, etc."

    • if you're at a strip club. I've heard some stories about how the girls act when they find out an attractive male virgin is there... it's highly entertaining for the guy, to say the least. (Can you tell me more about this?)

    • I don't know if it's true, but I've read claims about guys going to strip clubs with pals, and the girls finding out one was a virgin (I'm assuming you have to be dang good looking, haha) and then basically hanging around, hitting on/flirting with/etc. It's supposedly related to how more aggressive women like taking male virgins, because they feel like they own the guy, or something. Again, I haven't checked if it's true myself.

  • Honestly, if a girl doesn't want to be with you when she finds out you are a virgin then you probably don't want to be with her.

    If she turns you down for being inexperienced then that means she's had good and bad sex and she has no problems with comparing you in bed -do you really want that for your first time?

    If you are speaking the truth about your situation then you have no problems at all. I'm a virgin turning 28 soon, am just over 5'8", and have a skinny build. Without even seeing pictures of either of us most women would already consider you more attractive than me (and the average adult male) based on a few dumb statistics alone.

    If you really want to have sex with a girl who gives a damn about virginity you can just 'make up' a past girlfriend and say you slept with her. If anything, though, I think you should embrace your virginity as a quality that screens out shallow, selfish partners; the sooner a girl finds out you are a virgin the sooner you won't have to worry about her breaking the relationship off later on. If anything, you'll find that the girls who do stick around are the ones who you can trust for deeper relationships.

    "I'm a tall, handsome virgin male. Would any lady want to be with me?"

    You don't even have to ask this question. Just go and start dating already.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Find someone you trust, as cheesy as that sounds. Like with the co worker situation, if she put out that easily, you probably wouldn't want to be with her for much longer anyways. However, if things went a little bit slower, you could get to know each other and eventually be able to figure out if she's the type of person who you would be able to confide in about your virginity or if she would tell everyone and make fun of you. There's nothing wrong with taking things slow. I mean not like ridiculously slow like don't sleep with a woman until after like three months, but slow.

    Also, honestly, I would be somewhat taken aback if I found out the guy I was seeing was a virgin at 25, but at the same time, I would see it as an opportunity to train you for my personal tastes lol. And not having experience doesn't mean sh*t. I've been with some guys who get girls left and right and then when I sleep with them, I discover that they are horrible. I've actually even had a quite experienced fellow literally turn me off during foreplay just because he was so horrible. Just go with your instincts when it comes down to it and keep your expectations and goals/inspirations away from p*rn. I personally think watching a lot of p*rn can ruin the natural human kinkiness.

  • Well, I’m going to be honest. If a guy told me right off the bat that he was a virgin I might have a bit of a pause and re-think getting involved, mainly because I dated a 28 year old virgin before and it was not good (for other reasons than him being a virgin...but that’s not important.) With that being said, if I get to the point were I want to have sex with him it’s not really going to matter, though it will be awkward, not going to lie. This might be too much information but the first time was really bad, like he could not keep it in…literally like, he must have been going off what he saw on his p*rn or something because he was just doing too much movement. If this was some random hook up I would have knocked him off the bed and left the room because it was AWFUL…at one point we even fell off the bed. BUT we had already been dating for awhile and I had feelings for him so it didn’t matter. If we stayed together longer I’m sure the sex would have gotten better. Yes, it was a bit awkward that he was a virgin but once you fall for the person (and in my personal opinion you shouldn’t have sex until you do) it just doesn’t matter.

    • Thanks for your honesty.

  • I think people are over looking this a bit. Yeah I wouldn't be a big deal to girls, but I think most of us would be surprised and wonder why. My solution to that is to let a girl get to know you and see that your an all around normal guy, before you tell her.

    As for your virginity itself. It sounds like you have yourself in a circular pattern. Your a virgin because you too worried about what other people think to every loose your virginity. I think you have to trust women a little more. Maybe a sister? Even just a good friend. Some guys would probably love to give advice (but its not as if getting the girls are your problem). Any girl, even one you don't really no and not one you intend on sleeping with either (as that would take the pressure off). Again I don't think you have any reason to be concerned amongst girls...we wouldn't find it bad, or shameful, just curious.

    And once a girl gets to know you and like you for you, it won't matter to her at all. It could even be a bit of a relief or as others suggested she might welcome the teacher role.

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What Girls & Guys Said

10 9

  • dont be silly a sexy caring woman will enjoy teaching you sexual fun and turn you into great lover...a girl likes a virgin guy ,she feels like he is hers and hers alone...

  • A decent girl would appreciate it. If I met a guy who is a virgin I would love it tho,it's pretty cute! means he's not a player. Nothing wrong with being a virgin.

  • that doesn't matter lol, yeah sucks you didn't lose it earlier but most girls like to try and "teach" you how to do it, that's how I learned to kiss, I asked the girl to teach me and she would call me up for "training sessions"

  • Patiences is virtues. You should be proud of yourself rather than ashamed there's not many out there who can claim their virgins. I'm one and I'm proud of the fact. I believing in saving myself for mr right. Apart from my religious views. Believe me you'd be happier waiting forgone one who you love and trust rather than going it to someone who doesn't appreciate you or you regret cause you don't trust her

  • You'll just have to take a chance but don't get involved with someone at work if they're going to tell everyone about it and ridicule you behind your back.

  • This is not something to call a "crisis". That's not even a problem. If everything in life is fine, then you've got a wonderful life. Just enjoy life and everything else will fall into places. :)

    • how is it not something to be in crisis about? sex is meant to be pleasure

    • What?!? Your two sentences aren't coherent. Sex is meant for pleasure? Well he should pleasure himself, if he thinks he's in a crisis. Case closed.

  • I'm a 30 year old virgin don't worry about it it'll happen. In fact I'm losing it today

  • Do NOT tell women you're a virgin under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES!

  • don't worry about getting rejected, it happens more often than you think. I could probably say my success rate with girls is about 25%. So that means I approached as many girls as I could when I was younger lol. Sure you will get rejected but you will also succeed. Don't worry about being embarrassed work, even if you got rejected you also had the balls to ask her out.

  • lie about your virginity to women, women have a pre-selection mentality when it comes to this

    • TRUE!

    • yup, they want what other women want

  • First things first everyone gets rejected don't be embarrassed its a good things as crazy as it sounds it just means your getting closer to finding someone there's girls that would die to be with someone like you don't get down your just not trying hard enough one out of 10 will say yes I promise keep your head up bro and got get them

  • you shouldn't worry about it, just try to meet girls and be confident

  • just because a girl doesn't show interest in you doesn't mean you can't approach her. sometimes we are harder to read.

  • post some pics of you if you don't mind

  • Find someone you can trust

  • the girl won't car,e just sya you have never found a girl you liked before it snothing to be ashamed for.

  • Haha, are you serious? Would you reject a girl if you found out she was a virgin?

    Geez, if I care about a guy I couldn't care less if he's a virgin or not. You know, it seems virgin people are the ones being really worried about having sex in the first dates and what other people thinks about them, when it's all about having fun and enjoying your time together. And I say this as being a worrier and a virgin myself...

    Seems like these days it's harder not engaging in sex than do, so think it's more of a matter of choice and being selective. Of course many men will also only want someone with experience, but we can't please everyone...

    Just go and date a nice girl you like, and let life follow its course?

    Unless you just wanna do it with just anyone...

    • not all men only want someone with experience. Experience is overrated ..

    • Yeah, I'm trying to believe in that =) Not like I'm going around asking men's opinion on the subject, but people look at you and seem to think you're either waiting for prince charming or there's something wrong with you/ you don't have what they deem a healthy sex drive. However I just didn't have a good enough reason to do it, that's all.

  • Don't feel bad..I'm a 31 year old virgin. I know it sucks. I'm looking for a girl who's marriage material before I dive in. Its a tough dating world out there. I'm not ugly, and I work out 4 days a week...and have a very muscular body. Any woman who turns down a guy just because he's a virgin, needs a CAT scan. Virgin girls will be more attracted to you, and non virgin girls will be pleasantly surprised. Besides, you shouldn't wear your virginity on your shoulder. This is something that should come up long after she's your gf...and even after you've had sex if you want .

    Your virginity problem is not physical..its a massive mental block for you. You're not a car, girls aren't going to ask or care how many miles you have. They care about the cars looks, feel, will they have fun with this car, and will it protect them. What she thinks about your lack of a sexual experience should be the farthest thing from your mind. Focus Daniel son!

  • Honestly, most girls really don't care if you're a virgin or not. If anything, it'll make her feel more secure. If you have even a moderately nice girl, she will like you more for it, because it will make her feel special and knowledgeable to teach you things.

    Alternatively, you could just not tell her anything.. She doesn't need to know.

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