I'm afraid of my dark side, is anyone else?

[Anonymous]

Ok so I'm kind of afraid of my own dark side, for a while now I've been so messed up and I feel down, depressed and so powerless but I always feel my dark side there trying to tell me to go do something completely reckless and exciting it really doesn't care what, to just run away from everything and don't worry about anyone else just worry about myself. My dark side can get me in trouble though and can make me do things I later regret like I gave up my virginity to a guy I don't even like, I've done other stuff with other guys and non of it seems to be enough still, I am still so bored but my dark side still keeps pushing for more, I don't like what it does to me as I am far better than that. My other side is so sweet, kind, generous, smart and compassionate and it doesn't help that my parents are really over protective and I can't go any where, I feel like I wanna do something so reckless and stupid so much that I might explode,. I'm 23 next month but I can't live my life right now how I want to but I am scared what would I do when I finally do get a job and rent a room, god... I'm gonna get myself in so much sh*t I know haha, I never thought this would ever be me I mean I would love to fall in love but then... there is a side of me that doesn't want it to get too comfortable ether and wants to keep it exciting, I don't know where id find a guy like that though. What about you guys? what is your dark sides like?.

[Child_Of_Dust]

It sounds like you live in an oppressive setting that's so restrictive it is causing you to want to break free to such an extreme it is causing you to do reckless things. What you need is to find a healthy balance, and it sounds like your conscious knows this. You know what morality is and you know the type of person you are -> embrace that.

It would probably be healthy for you to move out and not live in a restrictive setting and be free from it, and the recklessness may decrease over time. It will just be difficult to keep it under control for the first while so you don't do anything you regret. I believe that if your conscious fears your dark side and doesn't agree with it, you should listen to your conscious! I wouldn't say embrace the darkness, you do need to accept who you are, but you need to sort out these dark traits as they show themselves one by one and figure out how to dissolve them. It will balance your life out so the true you can shine.

When people nit-pick you, ignore them. It is their own insecurities praying on someone else to make themselves feel better because nobody is perfect. That's how you build confidence.

[Child_Of_Dust]

I'll explain it this way: darkness can polarize itself through extremes. Living in a extreme restrictive/controlled setting is toxic, it polarizes itself by causing an extreme of you wanting freedom to the extent you do things you later regret, also toxic. The more you learn what a stable setting is, the less confused you will be on what is healthy and what is not. Emotions are not reality. For instance, if someone says your house burned down, and you believed it, yet they lied, it doesn't mean the house has burned down. So always put logic first. Your conscious, is something you generally can trust because that does stem from logic. Your feeling of boredom stems from depression and feeling powerless. Which is why doing extreme things doesn't change the feeling of boredom. You can only solve it through finding joy in your life, so even in boring situations you will enjoy simply being you.

[Child_Of_Dust]

Not wanting to fall in love may also show a lack of wanting stability, closeness, and/or openness towards an individual. This is understandable for there is much fear behind being vulnerable, and people need to grow and develop before they can hold down a relationship as such. So it would be healthiest for you to sort out your situation first before getting into a solid relationship, because otherwise your problems will become even more magnified within a close relationship and will be harder to deal with. Don't give up on what you know to be moral and as values, for this is what creates stability. If you throw this away it will cause your life to be even more confusing and you will cause harm to yourself and to others. Total democracy isn't healthy for anyone and causes societies to crumple. It is a push in North America and it is a lie! It turns to anarchy and disorder. Be true to yourself and follow what you know is right. It is a difficult path but most rewarding.

[1diamond]

You need to see a counsellor. Never ignore a dark side. I have seen the consequences!

[kissmeneckback]

I not any more. I love it didn't know it was so exciting

[HandsomeRaj]

Let's begin wtih that yes I have a similar situation like you do BUT it doesn't bother me cause I am at terms with myself and accept what I am.

If your 'dark side' is something that just pushes you to have sex randomly etc especially with those you don't particularly like; it's just probably just some kind of a rebellion inside you that probably has built up owing to certain things you experienced while growing up and/or genetic factors.

As long as your dark side doesn't want to hurt and harm others for pleasure, I won't even call it a dark side. In which case it's just a confusion between what you want and the morality lessons you've learnt and examples provided generally through religious scriptures and society.

You are what you are which is sweet, generous, kind, smart and compassionate - the other side as you term it is just a part of you and doesn't make you a bad person. So stop getting confused and be confident of who and what you are.

[Asker]

No it doesn't want to hurt others but one of it's traits is jealousy when it comes to guys, I'm not too good at hiding it really and I'm kind of too stubborn to admit I was jealous when I act kind of weird and say things and I get a bit stroppy lol. There are just things opening up in me and all these thoughts I think lately are scaring the hell out of me and I am opening up slowly in ways that currently make me sick with myself, I think how could I even consider it? what is wrong with me? lol.

[HandsomeRaj]

At the outset pls allow me to thank you for the BA, I really apprecaite it :) ur doing it with someone you didn't find attractive, dreaming about doing it with a repulsive demon are all signs of your being stuck between what you like & want 2 do & what u've learnt about morality from society. You place 2 much importance 2 how the society etc will look at you which is why you dream of doing it wt ugly people etc ugly here symbolizes your 'morality' thoughts. Also you do it with someone you find not attractive ...

[HandsomeRaj]

... cause you are subconsciously punishing yourself for doing something 'immoral / dirty / ugly'. Jealousy is a trait of the insecure and not so confident people & this statement generally receives bashings cause most of us are that way - just a case of majority pressure. But nothing wrong in feeling tinges of jealousy. U got to stop punishing yourself and being confused. think clear and straight - be confident of yourself and what you do - good luck :)

[Asker]

I think your right it is the pressure from others around me and my parents still treat me like I'm a little girl too so I can't do anything nor can I even meet someone from online they call everyone pedophiles (but I'm 23 next month :\) pedophiles pray on young people not over age. I guess the confusing is dealing with these emotions in the long run, the fact I have to live with everyone around me nit picking at all of my mistakes like they are so perfect is not a life I want yet I have to

[Asker]

deal with it wherever I go and I don't want to deal with ir nor should anyone have to put up with this behavior, I guess it makes me so sad that the majority of people are living such a sad existence and I think I just care far too much but I don't know how to stop caring because that's the type of person I am. I ignore it but I still don't really know how to deal with these feelings I just feel like with the majority acting like this what's the point in this world at all any more?.

[Asker]

These emotions just generally confuse me and it really does bruise me a lot when someone says "you shouldn't be doing that it's stupid" or people in their packs thinking because I am not like them I can't be their friends just because of the differences, it's like I wonder what is wrong in peoples minds? and just thinking I really wish I could help them and do something that will change everyone's thoughts to be nicer and not act negative like this but I can't do anything, it makes me so sad.

[HandsomeRaj]

There is no harm in thinking too much but thinking too much without anchoring yourself to firm thoughts about that topic in 1st place results in the way you are feeling today :) 1st be sure of what you want for yourself, be confident about it after logical thought THEN begin thinking about the world in which way you will either convince them or at least be able to debate your thoughts successfully.

[Ripper_E]

No. It's part of who I am. Others are because they don't really know who I am. They believe I'm good through and through. I'm not and I admit it. I can be cruel and heartless at any moment, and i do it like drinking a cup of coffee.

[Anonymous]

Your dark side is quite exciting. You don't want to stay in one place, and always want the feel of an adventure. There are a lot of guys who are like that, and they are the ones who are always pursuing success.