Girls- who gets to see your lingerie?

[Anonymous]

Long story short, a long distance friend had her birthday recently. By long distance, I mean three time zones away. The past few weeks have been really rough for her, depression, money problems and stuff like that, so we've been talking a lot and I've been trying to help her through it. Anyway, for her birthday, I emailed her a Victoria's Secret gift card with instructions to pamper herself and get something she'd never actually buy with her own money. I just want her to feel good, and I know that feeling sexy is important to women just for their confidence. I also told her that if she thinks it's appropriate to keep me filled in on what she gets (pjs, yoga pants, whatever) so ill know she's following my instructions, but it's completely up to her to decide whether or not to tell me. Now, she's single, and hasn't been on a date in several months. It's just not a priority for her right now, but I know she gets lonely. I think she's gorgeous, but because of the distance there's no point in viewing her as anything more than a friend. I guess my question is, is there any chance that she's going to want to show off how she looks in whatever she picks out, and if so, is there any chance it'll be to me? I'm actually really conflicted, because I'd love to see it, but I also don't want her to use me as a crutch for that kind of attention either. I mean, I'd just be a bit worried that things would get more complicated than they already are. Obviously, I don't plan on asking or suggesting that she show me, but what if she wants to? Can I say no to that without hurting her feelings? Girls, who would you be comfortable modeling new lingerie for if you didn't have any boyfriends/hookups/dates/one night stands? Would a close guy friend ever be an option for that sort of thing? (Either pics through text/email/snapchat OR on FaceTime/Skype video, if anyone was wondering how.)

[udolipixie]

Girls- who gets to see your lingerie?

Me

is there any chance that she's going to want to show off how she looks in whatever she picks out, and if so, is there any chance it'll be to me?

Possibly if she's needs male validation of her sexual appeal or she's under the illusion that your friendship is platonic and your gift was with the intentions of her and not you being able to wank bank her.

Obviously, I don't plan on asking or suggesting that she show me, but what if she wants to?

Tell her yes or no depending on what you want.

Can I say no to that without hurting her feelings?

Yes possibly with 'No thanks I don't want to complicate things'

Girls, who would you be comfortable modeling new lingerie for if you didn't have any boyfriends/hookups/dates/one night stands?

Sure if it was for a gal, asexual guy, or homosexual guy as I'm not interested in being sexually objectified by a guy.

Would a close guy friend ever be an option for that sort of thing?

Only my asexual and homosexual guy friends.

[Anonymous]

I would feel comfortable, and its probable that she would feel touched by your gesture. I can't say anymore because I don't know her. Good luck! :) Can you answer mine please?

So today, out of nowhere, my boyfriend asked me if I want to go to this super fancy restaurant (together), in September and I said yes. I guess he remembered that a while ago I mentioned that I'd never been to that restaurant, since it's so expensive. Usually our dates are budget friendly like skinny dipping, renting movies (since we're both broke). He didn't mention a specific reason for the restaurant (by the way neither of us have said "I love you" yet). I'm just curious as to why he would plan something a month in advance, any ideas as to what you think this probably means?

[Asker]

When she got it she said "I love you so much I could cry." So, yeah, she was pretty happy about it. Ugh. I hate decisions like this. As for you, if it's not anyone's birthday or anniversary... Maybe they were just booked up and that was the earliest reservation available. Or perhaps he's going to start setting aside some money from paychecks to cover it. It could be anything really, but usually the simplest answer is right.

[Opinion Owner]

That's awesome that she reacted that way! :D Ya just let her be and if she send you pictures or something then great, hopefully for you she will. No it's none of our birthdays and its not an anniversary. Personally, I was hoping that he was planning this to say "I love you" for the first time, do you think that's a possibility?

[Asker]

It could be something cheesy like that, but without knowing anything about him, I'm hesitant to say that. I'd just assume it's a money or logistics thing unless he gives you a reason to think otherwise. Maybe there's more to it, like an epic date night... Dinner, carriage ride, hotel room. Could be anything really.

[Opinion Owner]

Makes sense. Thanks :)

[Bethany94]

I would only show it to someone I was attracted to and to someone I knew wouldn't send the picture anywhere else.

[Asker]

I don't get when girls say things like that. Maybe I'm just dense. But what if you're not attracted to anyone at the time. You'd just wait an indeterminate amount of time before putting your new stuff to use? Nothing wrong with it, I guess, just doesn't vibe with my outlook on things.

[Bethany94]

There are male friends who I'm attracted to- I think they're attractive and nice- but I would never want to start a relationship with them. I'd send them pictures like that, though, to see their reaction. But it would mostly be for my own amusement, I like to do stuff to mess with them, that's just how I am. I wouldn't seriously show off until there was a guy I liked. I wouldn't mind waiting.

[Asker]

Well that makes more sense. I have no idea if she thinks I'm attractive or not. Part of me is hoping that she's too old fashioned to mess around with me like that, but at the same time, I sure would enjoy it in the moment. It's just weird... I've got some friends that go skinny dipping and it's like nothing happened, but this girl is just different... More private. It's hard for me to understand sometimes, we're so different.

[herturn]

Well I would be more than thrilled to see something I bought for her modeled for me or at least laid out on the bed so I know she did pick out something she really wanted “even if it was a plug, cuffs or even a dildo” I would be glad to see she was happy enough with the gift enough to show me. Although I don’t think it would be appropriate to ask, maybe hint that you would like to know.

I guess this comes from spending money on ex-wives and girlfriends that I never got to see on them but know they were modeled or worn for others!

[Asker]

The inappropriate thing was for her, not me. I could care less, but she has some boundary/privacy issues. I'm with you, I definitely want to know what she goes for, but I don't want to force the issue or anything. If nothing else just send me link to the product page, right? But I don't know, I just got to thinking what if she shows me as a way to 'pay me back'. I can't wrap my head around it.

[herturn]

sure you can maybe it will make you smile!

[RebeccaSJ]

Hubby.