Sexual Health
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Rape Fantasy? Normal?

so I have a fantasy about being raped. I don't actually want to be raped but the thought/idea of being dominated by a guy completely and him not having my consent turns me on. I like the idea of getting called a whore/slut and being treated like one. This does not mean I want to actually be raped hense the whole "fantasy". My question here is, is this normal? Am I alone? Ps. As a disclosure I was not abused as a child nor do I have any daddy issues. Thanks. Feedback please
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Most Helpful Guys

  • This is the single most common female sex fantasy. While it's often called a "rape fantasy", it's really a DOMINATION fantasy.

    Many women want and prefer to be submissive in bed (and are very much turned on by it), but society is really harsh on boys acting dominant and masculine growing up, and many boys don't have fathers around to learn from (and those that DO have fathers increasingly have non-dominant ones). Feminism and the fact that so many boys are raised by single mothers, who tend to be much less tolerant of "boys being boys", has resulted in most boys becoming far less dominant as men.

    While women have benefited from this in a number of OTHER ways, sexually, many women feel unfulfilled by non-dominant men, and long (and lust) for a dominant man to throw her around, put her in her place, and make her "feel like a woman" in a way that she never gets anywhere else. Most women are naturally submissive sexually (with plenty of exceptions, of course), and many specifically want a dominant man to take charge, so that she can be submissive as she wants to be (at least in the bedroom), especially since she is increasingly told that being submissive outside the bedroom is a bad thing for women.

    The problem for submissive girls your age is that the number of guys who are at or near your age who are mature and experienced enough to be a good dominant is almost zero. It's a VERY common complaint in the BDSM world, and experience shows that most guys don't reach the level of maturity and confidence to be a good dominant until at least 30, on average. Even then, they still have to learn what being dominant means, and what their expectations are.

    Finally, there is a large chunk of guys who just don't have it in them to be dominant, and that's never going to change for them. Some guys DO have it in them, but have had no practice, training, or opportunity to be dominant, and need to learn how. But to get the best experience, you generally need a guy who has some experience at being a dominant, and who understands the dynamic and knows that being a dominant means a huge amount of responsibility and requires tons of attention to detail, and isn't "all about him." You're generally going to get that from an older guy, and rarely from a guy in his 20s or younger.

    • I have to disagree about the women raising boys making them less dominant. I was raised primarily by the women in my family, and no one will say I'm not dominant, at least in certain areas. My fiance will never say that! But I digress since the women in my family were hard as nails, and I trained in Martial Arts for decades and have honed my naturally aggressive streak.

    • Then you're an exception to the rule, GP. There are always exceptions. A 3000 character limit doesn't allow me to talk about every single possibility, nor does my time. You have to make generalizations that cover the majority of cases, understanding that exceptions always exist.

  • It's a relatively common fantasy for women. There are lots of theories as to why this is, and only the truly ignorant ones cite "father issues" or "abuse" as their reasoning. I tend to subscribe to the idea that it's caused by society's repression of female sexuality.

    A woman who indulges in her sexuality with abandon is pretty much universally shamed. A "rape" fantasy takes all the decision making out of your hands, and you can enjoy sex with wild abandon and be as slutty as you want and no one can say an ill word against you for it, because it was "out of your control".

    Naturally, very few women who have this fantasy ~actually~ want to experience a rape. In your fantasies, you still WANT it to happen. It's perfectly safe, no harm can come to you, your rapist is "desirable" to you in some fashion. You are in complete control of your fantasy at all times, exactly the opposite of an actual rape situation. The two things aren't even remotely on the same page.

Most Helpful Girls

  • It's normal. Once you're with someone steady they can come up and help you with this fantasy. They can take you by surprise (and immediately say something so that you can be sure it's actually them, but it can stay with the rape theme like "don't move" or something) in an empty park or at your place when you don't expect him to be there. Just know that if you're planning something like this you should have a safe word, just in case you end up closer to sh*tting your pants rather than getting your panties wet, and that way you can say "no" all you want without him actually stopping. Just make sure you do it with someone you trust.

    I hope you find someone to enjoy your fantasy with :)

  • i asked a similar question, check out the answers: link :)

    • Lol I think yours is more of a rough domination fantasy than rape fantasy tbh.

    • i agree lmao :)

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What Girls & Guys Said

4 13

  • Normal. Don't worry about it.

  • Totally normal. People have all kinds of fantasies. And it doesn't always mean they actually want it to be real. It's totally normal to fantasize about all kinds of stuff. I have my own fantasies, you have yours, and everyone else has theirs.

  • Perfectly normal. Maybe we don't all have rape fantasies but we all have very odd and often intense fantasies of that nature. For example, you wouldn't want to be raped, but if you had a boyfriend who you're sexually in touch with, you would probably want him to treat you like a victim.

    I have a lot of odd fetishes and turn ons as well. Its kind of like when women think guys actually want what they see in p*rn. No, it's just a fantasy in the same way that rape is a fantasy for you.

    The sex part of our minds is very dark to say the least. If you don't have a twisted fantasy in your head, then you're NOT normal. lol

  • It's normal and it's not always caused by daddy issues. It's usually one of 4 broad reasons which is why a lot of girls have it.

    1. Girls who are sluts have it cause they enjoy giving up control and the guy is doing to them what they want to be done.

    2. Girls with daddy issues like you mentioned.

    3. Girls with low self-image, since they like to be wanted by a guy so much that he'd do to her what you consider a "rape" which in reality is just rough domination.

    4. Girls who are submissive. Some may even be dominant in their daily lives but in bed they want a guy whos gonna take everything from them and enjoy seeing their guy get pleasure from them without asking.

  • I think most of the girls have a rape fantasy even though they don't disclose it. I can understand it's actually not a rape which will cause bodily harm and shame for the girls but a safe environment where a guy would be be aggressive and want sex without her consent with causing any harm to the girl and fear of shame.

    It's normal because most of the girls are submissive.

  • Not weird. Actually, not uncommon for females at all.

  • I personally don't find this normal. Please see a psychiatrist about why you are having these fantasies of rape.

    • Well you are personally wrong, MOST girls have fantasies like this, just most of them don't talk about it. A study I saw showed rape fantasies were the #3rd most common among women.

  • It's normal. Do not worry.

  • You're not alone! A friend here!

  • You sound like a submissive to me

  • completely normal but a select group (the same ~5) will say you have issues or are hurting women everywhere with your 'rape acceptance'

    it isn't very socially acceptable for girls to say this stuff so there usually is a backlash at a girl who admits it.

    can you talk to your friends and just be like 'i like to be slapped, spit on, called a slut and choked'... no because then it makes you look messed up as a girl...

  • It's very normal. It's a fantasy that a lot of women have, but there's a huge difference between fantasy and reality. Nothing wrong with any fantasy that turns you on.

  • Yep.. its normal... and its also most common woman fantasy.. also my Girlfriend has the fantasy too ;) ... have you any real haressment?

  • A lot of women have this fantasy. I have it myself. Big difference between having a fantasy and wanting it to happen or to think it is acceptable.

  • it is normal. It is just a fantasy so don't worry about it.

  • It is far more common for both men and women than most people are willing to admit.

  • No it isn't.

    • it isn't normal?

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