Losing your virginity to an...escort? Is it a good choice?

[Anonymous]

I'm 19 right now but in 2 weeks I'm going to be 20, and I find the fact that I haven't done anything with a girl yet to be very pathetic. Because of this, I see still see my self as a boy, innocent and immature, not a man who is strong and experienced. Being a virgin is also a very big social liability, and is often a deal breaker for any woman that a guy meets (not like I've gotten a girl to like me enough to ask her out, different time for that issue though). Is it worth it losing it to an escort or prostitute? I would go to a brothel in Nevada, where it's regulated and the women are tested instead of taking chances with any old girl on the street. I would also obviously use a condom. I've heard that guys can do a complete 180 in terms of personality after losing their virginity. But I also don't want to do something that I regret (even though a girl would probably think more highly of me if I was experienced, no matter who it's with). I know at 20 being an old virgin shouldn't be a concern, but I don't want to be 10 years older and still in the same situation. What do you guys think? Thanks to anyone that answers (other than trolls)

[GDBonline]

In my opinion, 20 is not too old to be a virgin.

At this point I don't think you should be looking into escorts but look into finding a nice girl to share your first time with. Dating websites, blind dates through friends, etc. There's nothing wrong with being a virgin and a nice girl will not be put off by it. After all; it's easier to teach a person something new then it is to change an existing habit. So you might lack in experience but have not learned anything yet that your future lover will not enjoy. Your lover can mould you exactly the way she wants.

However, if you would have been a few years older I would certainly recommend you to use the services of an escort. I can imagine it can be rather frustrating and problematic to be a virgin at a certain age and if this frustration and problems can be solved by having sex, then it's an easy choice for me. But if you're gonna do it, do it right.

I am currently in The Netherlands and there's a company here called Society Service and they founded a thing called the Virgin Experience (in Dutch they call it Ontknaapservice) many years ago. It doesn't come cheap but from what I've seen in the media and read online in terms of reviews, it's suppose to be an amazing experience. They write on their website: "Our escorts are sweet, understanding and sensationally beautiful ladies, who will take ample time to give you the best (first) intimate experience of your life. In addition, you will learn how to please a woman in bed. This will give a boost to your confidence, so your opportunities in the dating circuit are guaranteed to increase." Anyway, you can read for yourself at on their website. You can find it by googling for "Society Service Virgin Experience".

Hope my advise helps!

[lamasdura88]

hard to answer I think you should seek a real connection. escorts are there to please not to teach so you may meet a woman after who is not interested in a money exchange and think it went great and she's pissed off wondering why it was so bizzare.

i recommend the site sexuality.org which is where I picked up a lot of my tricks in the bedroom from when I was a virgin has everything you want to know about any type of sex and offers practice tips as well.

it may seem like the right solution in the short term calling an escort but in the long run it will be bad

also the site makelovenotporn.com is great

good luck

[kaylaS91]

I could reword and jsut tell you what everyone else is saying by telling you not to do it, that you'll regret it. However, in the end, it's your choice, depending on confidence, where you live, etc.

However, one thing I'll say that hopefully will actually be somewhat helpful is that if you meet a girl:

1) she is turned off or in any way cares that you're a virgin, you can do better

2) she'll be turned off and completely freaked out that you lost it or even were with a prostitute much more than if she found out you were a virgin.

[Asker]

I feel like the girls mentioned in #1 make up 99% of women. They're scared that when they give it up, the guy is going to imprint on her like a ducking on its mother and become super attached, and because they're scared of that they decide to leave it to another woman to do the deed. The paradox is, it's incredibly hard for the guy to find a woman that would be willing because there's so few of them out there...

[kaylaS91]

ok yea right on both points, but what's the problem then? why are you asking if it's okay to lose it to an escort if your mind is clearly made up on it, when good girls, including myself, do exist. it just takes more time to find the diamond in the rough but as you're clearly not open to even listening to advice, good luck with whatever your decision may be.

[Asker]

Sorry, I just felt frustrated. I just don't know where to find a girl who would have the same amount of experience as me, or someone who would tolerate a virgin, and that it mostly just comes down to luck. It also feels like it would be very nerve-wracking to be open about something like this. But I guess one can learn in the process what to say and what to keep quiet on, as well as where to find a quality girl

[kaylaS91]

yea I know it's frustrating, I'm 20 and still a virgin pretty much as well. however, I can tell you from experience with a guy whom I almost lost it to as I just wanted to get it over with that it's really not that big of a deal. As long as you remember the only reason you didn't lose it yet is not because you can't but because you're not sleazy and not just handing it out like most people these days. Don't psych yourself out about it, you're better than that.

[Asker]

Yeah, I've had opportunities before, but they were with people I either didn't connect with or with people I saw big red flags in (or both...) I'm probably better off (and safer) that I didn't just give it up then...but also I'm scared that my standards are way too high sometimes. I'd prefer an actual relationship to a drunk hookup anyway, just sometimes as a guy I feel pressured to keep up with standards that aren't even consistent with my own goals

[Anonymous]

I lost my virginity to a prostitute at age 21. I only wish I had done it sooner!

I was much more relaxed around women after I'd lost my virginity. In fact, I managed to have several one-night stands soon after. And a couple of months or so later, I got my first-ever girlfriend.

Do it. But don't tell girls you meet that you've been with a prostitute. They are not very understanding! Of course they don't know what it's like being a man and how difficult, comparatively, it is to get sex.

Here's an interesting fact about prostitution from the book 'SuperFreakonomics': "At least 20 percent of American men born between 1933 and 1942 had their first sexual intercourse with a prostitute. Now imagine that same young man twenty years later. The shift in sexual mores [the sexual revolution] has given him a much greater supply of unpaid sex. In his generation, only 5 percent of men lose their virginity to a prostitute."

Good luck!

[MikeK]

Best answer!

[TimePhantom]

I hadn't done anything at all with a girl until I was 23. I definitely felt like the outsider of my friends at times, and certainly felt like I may never lose my virginity. However, I am very glad I lost it to my then girlfriend. It really was better knowing that this person wanted me, and that I could communicate with her. It was not a life changing thing for me, in fact I felt basically the same. The thing that did make me feel more confident was the fact that I had a girlfriend, and going on dates, and being a successful boyfriend. Even though you may feel like you are getting too old, you're not. There are tons of guys and girls who are still virgins and are older than you. Losing it to an escort is going to give you one night of pleasure, not a life changing experience.

[TimePhantom]

Money, status, etc. In reality doesn't matter much to girls, at least not girls you'd want to go after. What does matter is personality and confidence. Just be yourself and try not to be intimidated by girls. The thing to remember is that you are in control. You control where the conversation is going, you take the lead, you need to make them laugh or impress them. Which is all about confidence. If you think "I got this," then you do!

[snowangle]

Having sex won't change who you are.

If you want to lose your virginity to a prostitute because you want to get it over with or something, fine, that's your choice. But if you want to do it because you think it'll make you more desirable, that isn't the case. Pretty much every quality girl will look down on the fact that you paid for sex.

[Asker]

But if you're a virgin later in life, aren't you seen as still just a boy, not a man? Being innocent and inexperienced is probably a turn off to most girls

[AliceMcKay]

I would kind of judge you for doing it with a prostitute if we started dating and I found out. It seems desperate and kind of gross to be honest. So your theory, at least for me, is not true at all. I'm just wondering how it is a social liability for you when you meet girls. It is not like you would advertise it when you first meet. I feel like you are making this too much of an issue. Try to be outgoing and confident (not cocky) and be yourself. I would find it strange if it were a deal breaker for a girl. If she cares for you then it shouldn't be a big deal. You are looking into this way to much, sex is sex, it is not some life-changing experience, and you shouldn't feel inadequate about not having it.

[NavyblueTacos]

Dont do it.. nothing wrong with being a virgin at 19/20, I wouldn't be able to respect someone who went to a prostitute to loose their virginity... I wouldn't think less if I started dating someone and he told me he was a virgin, probably more respect than anything else..:)

[yaddayaddayadda02]

If you think it is the thing holding you back from relationships, go for it.

[MikeK]

Do it -

Just like the male AU said, just don't tell anyone that you did...

Losing your virginity will allow you to become confident, and make you realize that getting with chicks actually can be done ;)

[moviedude714]

i'd go for it if I were you

[Castrated Virgin]

There's no shame in it. During world war one and 2 a lot of young soldiers lost there virginity to hookers while in the Army. I'm going to be 26 next week and I'm still a virgin. Same problems as you. If I had more money I would go to a Bunny ranch in Nevada too.

[IHateBeingaMan]

a lot of guys, men do this, more do this than are willing to admit or disclose, i see nothing wrong with it

[Anonymous]

No not at all, if people ask how you lost your virginity, are you going to say you payed to lose it? Wait till your married! You can hold your hormones back

[Anonymous]

If you want to go ahead but you shouldn't tell anyone especially a woman

[Anonymous]

I'm 21 virgin. I know how you feel. you got lots of time my friend. :) You will end up with better things in the end if you are patient enough. it's a hell annoying, but I'm sure good things will come in time.

[Asker]

But I see how this can go on for 10 years, 15 years, etc. It would be terrible in an emotional sense if one lost it and had a girlfriend for the first time at 35, never mind getting married and having kids for the first time in your 40's and 50's while all your friends did all that in their 20's and 30's and are already celebrating milestone anniversaries

[Opinion Owner]

as hard as it may be try not to think too much about it being that long. I know you are impatient but in the long run if you are looking for a good nature girl you may want to wait for her. and honestly I have a lot of girl friends that really appreciate guys who are still virgins. try not to think of it as a bad thing.There are lots of people out there who like virgins. you will find the right girl at some point. In the meantime just educate yourself on sites and stuff on what girls like.

[Opinion Owner]

(askdanandjennifer) I find this site is very helpful with letting you in on ideas. its cool just to see what they have to say. That is what I like to do since I am a virgin myself. It makes me feel a little more prepared for when the actual time comes to have sex with someone in the future. If you experiment on yourself (which you probably have.) if you can figure out new things that you like to do on yourself, that alone is a turn on for girls because at least you have explored your own sexuality.

[Asker]

I don't see how it wouldn't take that long...it'll take me at least 5, maybe 10 years to build up the social/relationship skills and confidence necessary to start and maintain a relationship. I'd also have to drastically expand my group of friends, learn how to be constantly social, get a better physique, etc. and that all takes a significant amount of time. Never mind going through several relationships, trying to find a girl in the first place,learning what works and recovering after breakups.

[Opinion Owner]

well you just have to take chances I guess. no one can really tell you what to do. It really just matters with what you choose to do. just make sure you are ready before you go ahead with your choice. although having sex is nothing you can be ready for. so just make the best decision you can.

[Anonymous]

Choice is yours but if you did do it, just don't mention it to anyone.

[MikeK]

"On the QT, and very hush hush" ;)

[Anonymous]

No way this is not a good idea you are still young and still have time find a girl that likes you and you can loose it too her. I know how hard it is to be a virgin at that age because I was until I was 21 and yes you get made fun of a lot but its so worth it to wait. Look at me I am 24 have not had a boyfriend or sex in three years how do you think I feel.

[Anonymous]

If I started dating you and found out you lost your virginity to a prostitute, it would be a turn off. However if you were still a virgin, it would be a turn on and very precious to me. At the end of the day, if you think it's a good idea then go for it. 19/20 is still super young.

[Anonymous]

Worth considering but ferociously expensive. You would want to explain to the Maitre De what you are there for and will want the youngest legally available. You won't experience the intimacy you need but you can learn some of the mechanics. Go to where prostitution is safe, legal and regulated. At times in the past, Jewish fathers have taken their 13 year old Bar Mitzvah sons to special designated professionals to help them learn the territory.

However,

There's nothing wrong with being inexperienced at 19 and exploring sex with an equally inexperienced but eager girl is one of life's greatest pleasures. You have an advantage guys didn't in the past. Online p0rn. Look at real amateur, not commercial. You can learn a lot.

[Anonymous]

I lost my virginity to an escort aged 17. I don't regret it although it also didn't have some huge life changing impact. I would say visiting escorts made me more comfortable escalating with women who are attracted to me but it didn't help me attract women at all.

I'd seriously suggest against telling anyone though, I've never done so and I think that is a decision I'll stick with forever.