My guy won't let me be dominant (help please)?

[Anonymous]

So every time we have sex he's dominant and controlling and don't get me wrong it's really hot and I love it, but sometimes I want to take control too But the thing is he won't let me, I'm really small and petite so whenever I stradle him and try to push him down I can't and he doesn't let me he kinda smiles and then turns me over and goes at it or if I try to ride him during sex he'll usually hold me and start thrusting himself I told him a few times I want to be dominant sometimes too but he kinda brushes it off What the hell can I do?

[Anonymous]

I can relate to that guy, I don't particularly like the girl to get dominant during sex. There is only room for one person to be dominant in a sexual relationship and I'm not about to be the one that's submissive.

I don't particularly find woman on top positions all that enjoyable and I don't find sex to be pleasurable if I'm not the one thrusting as her movements won't be all that nice, also feel as if she doesn't let my manhood in as deeply, during sex I always fully penetrate a girl as I want her to feel her entire vagina being done by a large penis and I do want to be the one that has penetrated her the deepest and stretched her out the most.

If she speaks to me about control and dominance, I will let her know how I feel with my larger sized manhood and it won't be gently.

If she is normally a dominant person in her daily life, then I'm usually even more dominant with her during sex, she may not like it but if it is what it takes I will be forceful when entering her and rough when I pump her, if it hurts her then it hurts her and I will want it to hurt her. Most girls do tend to get rather submissive .

As for talking to your guy? Maybe he isn't as dominant as me and might not do anything that will hurt during sex, but most likely if you see any changes then it would be temporary only and if the matter gets pursued then he will simply move on to a less problematic girl. Am afraid you will just have to deal with it that the guy you're with is a dominant one and you will just have to adjust your ways.

[parkway]

You don't understand men, they are like dogs. You have to train them like a dog.

As long as you are giving him sex then you are rewarding him for bad behavior. The moment you cut off the flow you have his attention like a dog. Is the moment you take control.

There is a book on training men, dogs and fools, read it.

His mother never taught him respect. You have already asked him once and the answer was "no" which means you don't respect yourself.

If it is an issue now it will grow bigger as time passes.

Or dump him and get another better trained monkey.

[1xadzy3dgSG]

Some people have this mentality that dominance = masculinity and submission = femininity, and it's been so drilled into people that it's a difficult view point to change. I suggest just sitting down with him, and tell him that although you enjoy him taking control, you also want to sometimes. You can try telling him that it's an important thing for you, but unfortunately some people are just naturally dominant and can't be anything else. Or, maybe during the conversation you can try showing him some things on something called a "switch" went is what you sound like you are, and show him how serious you and how important it is for you to have him do this for you. But, unfortunately he might not let you, and he won't be able to be anything but dominant in bed.

[Asker]

Yeah I think he just can't let me do it, he's just naturally very dominant.

[1xadzy3dgSG]

Then, unless it's really important for you to be dominant, you just might have to give up on that battle. :/ But, if it is important enough, I say just do some research on being a switch, and let him read some of the stuff. He just may not realize it's something you really want.

[AustinMan]

My guess is that you'll be looking for a new guy before long. Our kinks have very deep roots. I'm like your guy: I'm very dominant. I'm just not comfortable switching. If my wife suddenly wanted to switch and was firm about it, we'd likely split. Dominance for me isn't an optional exercise--it's who I am in bed. In "real life," I adore her and treat her like a princess and it's working for us going on eight years.

Now let's talk about what you said. Talk to him and negotiate. Next time you're on top, maybe he can grab your hips and growl at you to f*** him harder--try to break it off (which of course is just a fantasy). It doesn't sound like you really want to dominate but just want some new positions, if I understand correctly.

[DodgersGM]

You just gotta tell him. Pretty simple. It should be pretty easy, especially if you say something like your opening line: "when you're dominant and controlling it's really hot and I love it, and I also think it'd be hot if I take control every once in a while."

[Asker]

I've tried telling him many times

[DodgersGM]

Were you pretty stern about it?

[Asker]

Yeah, but he's very agressive and just a man's man even outside of the bedroom so he kinda brushes it off.

[DodgersGM]

I would just tell him that this is something you need. If he's a caring lover, then he'll do his best to accommodate. Maybe you could even just be the dominant one for a few minutes during sex, and then revert to him being the dominant one. Or are you looking to be dominant for an entire session of sex?

[jdfarmer]

Get him drunk and take control. Maybe a little bit of reverse cowgirl!

[SaltandVinegar]

Smack him and tell him he is being a bad boy or tie his hands down when you get on top

[Anonymous]

just get dominant until he gets submissive

[Anonymous]

At least you know that you are a "switch". Sounds like he is also a dominant and you are conflicting in the bedroom. If he is a true dominant then things won't work out unless you are willing to let him continue as it is because he will not enjoy being submissive. A guy who is a switch should match you best in the bedroom.

[Anonymous]

You should communicate with him.

[Anonymous]

Nothing. Do you like him? Do you have an orgasm? Then lay back and enjoy it. He probably doesn't think it's about dominance. He just wants both of you to come.