I don't want to give my boyfriend my virginity. How to tell him?

[Anonymous]

I just want to clear it up, because we all have different ways to define sex, mine is: when a penis goes into a vagina. So for me I am still a virgin. Ok, so I have giving my boyfriend bj/hj and he has rubbed my clit once. this sounds weird but he wants to go to the next step by having sex, but this isn't what I want because I am a virgin, and wants to keep it that way (want to give it to the man I am gonna marry), but because me and my boyfriend have already done so much. I don't know how to tell him that I can't. I am angry at myself for doing all of this to my boyfriend, I really regret leading him on. Now he thinks he is gonna get it.

[Red_Arrow]

Just tell him. You have been pleasing him, but I assume you never said that intercourse was an option. Tell him that you realize he may have assumed that it is and that you realize that you should have brought it up sooner, but you cannot be expected to lay out your rules for virginity before a sexual relation has even begun. If he really likes you and can accept your need to stay a virgin, he will stay with you and be happy for the pleasure you are more than willing to give him.

[Anonymous]

Good for you! That's awesome you want to wait. Yes, not good that you've done other things, but I don't see it that you're leading him on. If you want to find the right guy to marry, you make him wait as long as it takes. The longer he waits, the better, more mature man he is, and the better husband he will be. It's ultimately YOUR decision what you do with your body. Don't let the boyfriend, or anyone else tell you different.

[Asker]

Thank you. I love this answer, but I don't know how to tell him. . .

[Opinion Owner]

First, you don't bring it up, until he starts bringing it up. Then you simply say, that you love him, but intercourse is something you only want to experience after a guy puts a ring on your finger, and have said "I do". If he doesn't like it, and leave...then good...you win. How long have you been dating? How old are you both?

[Opinion Owner]

You should want to find a MAN who falls in LOVE with YOU the PERSON. You can find a guy who wants sex now, on every corner. If you really want to find a guy to grow old with in marriage, you find a guy who will wait as long as it takes. No matter what anyone says, its a good decision.

[Asker]

Thank you. This is a great advice. We are both 20 and have been together one year and 7 months. . not that long. :)

[Opinion Owner]

You're welcome. If you have an unselfish guy...and if he's in love, he WILL wait.

[Anonymous]

I am on the same page as you. I've done the things you mentioned but I'm not ready to have penetration sex. I've already told my boyfriend that I want to keep my virginity till we have some serious sort of commitment (like being engaged or married), and he was very understanding. He told me he is willing to wait and that the things we do sexually, are more than enough for him. :) We've been together for one year and three months.

[Opinion Owner]

Just tell him. If he isn't willing to wait for the girl he loves, he is not worth it.

[Anonymous]

you have to be honest. if you are not ready ot ahve sex you will feel worse when you do it. worse than you would ever feel if you lost your boyfriend. trust me. you cannot take sex back. you can alwas get another boyfriend. the right man will wait until you are ready.

[Bethany94]

Tell him that you don't want to have sex. There isn't any way around it.

[Theguyoverthere]

If you don't want to do it, stop provoking the situation. You're leading yourself into drama.

[parkway]

If he does not respect you, then cut him loose. A virgin is a very valuable woman, keep that in mind.

A good man does not want a woman who has an account at the clinic. A good man want to know that his woman is special and is irreplaceable.

Good luck,

[sexyasianboi26]

Your decision is a double edged sword.

If you want to savor it for the right guy, then hey that is a respectable decision.

But know this, what is missing in your relationship, your boyfriend will go find it in another girl.

[Paullus]

The absolute best advice is to have a conversation with him about it and tell him exactly how you feel. If he really likes you he will respect your decision :)

[Anonymous]

Tell him you don't trust the birth control

[Anonymous]

Just say him, you do not trust birth control, because there's no 100% safe birth control. So basically you are not ready for getting pregnant, so no penis-vagina intercourse are acceptable..