Is this considered cheating? At what point do I stop having sex with my ex?

[Anonymous]

My ex-boyfriend and I broke up about 3 month ago but we are still having sex together. We dated for about 8 months and the only thing good in our relationship was the sex. We argued constantly never got along and the only reason we stay together because the sex was so good. He was the first guy that could ever make me orgasm from intercourse alone and I was the first girl that would willingly let him finish in my mouth and that was our two most favorite things to do. We both agreed to break up and still have sex with each other until we found someone else. Both of us have been on dates with other people but are in no committed relationship, there is one guy in particular that I have been on several dates with in the last month but I'm still having sex with my ex every night. I do want to date him some more but I'm not ready to be in a committed relationship and I'm definitely not ready to have sex with him yet, the farthest we have gone is him putting his hands of the back of my skirt while we made out. I do enjoy sex and I still want to have it I'm just not ready to give it up to him until we are in an actual relationship. Even though we are just going on dates together am I cheating on him? The sex is so good with my ex-boyfriend I'm not ready to stop yet. At what point do I stop having sex with him so that I'm not considered a cheater?

[madhatters4]

so you want to know how long you cna have your cake and eat it do?

it seems to me when you decide that the guy you are currently seeing is someone you want to really give a shot then out of fairness to you, yourself and your ex you need to put a stop to the casual sex. another question to ask is would the guy you were with be angry if he knew you were having casual sex with someone else?

i guess you could say when you two decide to be exclusive is the point where you should stop... my current girlfriend and I had been on three dates. two dates from that point she would tell me she loved me (I know quick). but after the first three she went on vacation and hooked up with some random dude while in Domincan Republic. she hid it from me but eventually I sort of sniffed it out. I was pretty pissed off. not because we were exclusive but because she felt like she had to hide it.

i think that is the best indication. if you tell the guy you are dating that you are having casual sex how is he going to react.

[ryanontario]

I don't know what to think but I wouldn't be at all interested in pursuing a relationship with a girl if she was still having sex with her ex boyfriend . that just be a little bit too much for me to deal with and lead me to think she was more into him than me .

if your interested in finding a new relationship with a new guy , you need to drop the ex and move on

[Siobhan85]

If your not in a relationship with this guy - then its not cheating, but its not exactly the best way to start a relationship either - unless your being honest with him.

Does he know your having sex with your ex? I guess a more discreet way of putting it is - have you told him that your 'dating' other people? Is he 'dating' other people? Would you be jealous or upset if he is? So long as your being honest with him and he's OK with that then I think it would be fine. But I doubt he'll be OK with that.

Your not committed to each other so no harm no foul, your just having fun, you don't want to be in a committed relationship, which implies you intend to keep having sex with your ex regardless so are you just using the other guy for dates and fun or do you actually like him?

Ultimately its your body and it's your choice who you want to have sex with or not as the case may be so long as your not hurting anyone but you need to be honest and give this guy a chance to make his own choices.

[Cryostatic]

Kind of defeats the purpose of breaking up if you're still going to f*** on the regular.

How, exactly, are either of you supposed to move on properly if you're still screwing?

[kheserthorpe]

No.

I suspect he'll dump you if he finds out though. You're not a cheater. Its just you're having casual sex with one guy while not being 'ready' to have sex with him.

How many guys have you actually had sex with before?

[Asker]

I've only had sex with three other guys and I am 25 years old. Two of the other guys were boyfriends the third was just a fling that I had with a friend in his pool when we were in high school.

[kheserthorpe]

I'm wondering if your ex is so great or the other couple were just not knowing what they were doing.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

Not really. You don't have any obligation to be monogamous to this new guy. You do have an obligation to inform him that you are not being monogamous with this new guy when you head closer to the path of having sex.

He should probably know that you're banging your ex while seeing him so he can know that you will likely cheat on him with that ex should he commit to you.

[swiftsaver602]

Agreed.

[nomandik]

Well if you've not found anybody else and you're still having sex with your ex then you're still in a relationship with your ex quit having sex with your ex and into relationship then you then will be officially broke up but if you keep on having sex with your ex you're technically still with your ex

[Anonymous]

Of course it is cheating. how would you feel if he was still having sex with his ex?

[Anonymous]

and I was the first girl that would willingly let him finish in my mouth" Oh what a prize! Wow...

Not technically. I mean, the new guy might get a little pissed if he found out. Who knows?

But what a great little story to tell if you ever have a long term relationship with that guy.

[Asker]

Thanks for your answer were you being sarcastic about letting him finish in my mouth? He just really enjoys that so I do it for him pretty much every night