Sexual Health
+1 y

I sucked at giving my boyfriend a handjob.

i was terrible I bet. I was too slow and it took a long time to get him off :( but I didn't wanna give up and leave him hanging .. I eventually went faster because he told me to hhaha...but I am so inexperienced :( next time ill be better im pretty sure by the end of it, he thought why would I need this chick if I can get off better without her? guys have you thought anything like this with a girl who was really inexperienced?
0 1

Most Helpful Guys

  • Don't judge yourself too harshly. My partner is as bad (don't tell her I said so), though I could well understand why...

    Guys are more adept at knowing what they want here. For a woman, it's something new their dealing with (handjobs), and it's hard to imagine what kind of sensations cause what effect. Most think it's just a piston-like jerking, which won't get you there.

    A clue: think of it as teasing, playfully... and that could stimulate him.

    I think guys know exactly what they want (because they've usually being doing at least some of it since their teenage years). But they can't explain it.

    Best is to have a good look at some p*rn movies depicting this. When I watch some, I can't help but being amazed at how well some women know what a guys wants out of it! There are good HJs and bad ones. You'll immediately know the difference on seeing it.

    I don't think your guy would judge you too negatively. It's just a matter of understanding and getting to know what he wants. As for not "needing this chick", don't forget that guys are into women also (? primarily) because of the ego-boost a good woman can give him... by making him feel like a guy, not challenging him in bed, not denying him etc

  • Every girl I've gotten handjobs from were... pretty bad at it at first. Same goes for bowjobs. Think about it: how long have you had to practice, and how long has he?

    Now, despite that, I still preferred a girl over myself every time. It might not feel as good sexually, but it was a lot of fun none the less. And after some practice, she got really good at it.

    My advice would be to:

    1: Watch him jack off. Learn from the master. Watch what he does. How fast? Long or short strokes? Tip or shaft? Any special technique? All of this plays into how much enjoyment he gets.

    2: Ask for advice. If you ask, he knows you're trying to get better, and he might be able to teach you what he likes. If you ask and he's having a lot of trouble answering, yo're probably doing something right. ;)

    Also, you don't have to turn it into a full blowjob if you don't want, but using your mouth really does make a lot of difference. Even if it's just for some lube.

    Oh! One important thing! Is he circumcised? If not, do not grab at the tip and pull down, that stretches the skin in a really painful way. Always grab at the base and stroke up from there.

    Good luck and happy humping!

Most Helpful Girls

  • It hard for us to compare to them in the hj department, I usually only use them as a gateway, kinda a way of saying things will go further, so I may start with a hj while making out, and then slowly move my way down his body for a bj. Never had a problem with that, and you don't have to be experienced.

  • When my hubby and I first started dating (I had no experience) he requested a hand job and I told him show me what you want. He put his hand over mine and that experience was amazing. Every once in awhile I'll do a hand job but the blow jobs are so much better... Just ask for help!

  • Watch p*rn videos and ask fellow female friends their techniques (if they're open to that kind of thing). Blow jobs have always done the job better in my experience. I don't even bother with hand jobs plus I wear too many rings and my hand cramps.

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What Girls & Guys Said

3 18

  • Make him let you watch him jack off then start getting in there with him and let him help you, you help him...

  • You didn't suck. And that's the problem.

    I have come from a Hayjay once in my life and it was the first time I ever had one. After that it lost its appeal

  • first off no guy is going to choose a masturbation over a handjob from a gal unless the girl was absolutely horrific. also know that all guys know how to service themself better than a girl can with her hand...same goes for a girl masturbating. you simply know yourself better than anyone else can.

    tip:

    1) hand jobs take a while for me. they just do even if the girl is good at them it will take a bit

    2) don't yank. it should be more of a massage

    3) don't squeeze too tightly unless a guy asks. most girls I've come across squeeze far too tightly and most guys won't tell them to lighten up. don't squeeze it anymore tightly then you would hold a pencil.

    4) do different things. switch hands, use two hands, massge the testicles, vary locations like the shaft vs the head

    5) read his body language. if he seems tense as opposed to relaxed you're probably squeezing to hard to doing something that is uncomfortable for him

    ultimately don't feel bad. in the end the effort is what matters and most guys will appreciate that you are willing to touch him at all since that is what we've been working towards since we turned about 13. and feel free to ask him how it feels while you're doing it

  • eh lol tbh? I have had this thought before that is why I don't really ever go for HJ's they just don't really do anything for me, I mean trust me I know exactly how to get myself off with a hand... if she performs oral or the full schabang then obviously there's nor comparison but a HJ just takes literally forever, girls have had to stop in the middle before to go somewhere (like home for an example) because it takes a godamn hour...

  • Sometimes, I mean, you're a girl - he's been giving himself HJ's for probably 10 years, an average of 3 times a week. You can't compete with that experience.

    But with anything - practice, practice, practice.

  • How long is this long time you're mentioning?

    It is a HJ after all and doesn't necessarily work for guys like sex or oral. And to be dead honest isn't the same thing as a guy jacking to p*rn either because when helping himself he'll be kinda forcing that moment.

  • Handjobs suck no matter who you are. The person can do it themselves and know all all their own pressure points. They know what feels good and what doesn't. There's no real way to be automatically good at a HJ without several years with the same person. Think of another way, BJs, grinding, titjobs, sex, anything. Handjobs in general just suck.

  • It's okay. Hand jobs have to be very specifically done anyway. The main focus is that you are touching him there and that should be a turn on by itself.

  • try using your mouth

  • hand jobs are for teenagers. use your mouth

  • Slow can be good! If he came then you did an excelent job.

  • Understand this: It doesn't matter how good you are at handjobs, he'll do it to himself better. If I ask my girlfriend to give me a handjob is not because he does it better than me, but because I want HER to do it. It's not the same having sex with myself than having sex with another person. If it were, what would be the point?

  • Next time try giving him a blow job

  • That would be pretty cold. Like everything in sex, hand jobs must be learned.

    A two-hand masseuse style hand job can be immensely satisfying. As good as any other part of sex. The key is to learn it as a main event. If you are limiting your sexuality to this (for now) I'd be pleased to give you a " how to" that will give him whopper orgasms here or in a private message.

  • Don't be so hard on yourself. You got him off, right? It usually takes me fifteen to twenty minutes. Next time, use some lube.

  • Don't worry girl, we all aren't very good in the beginning haha, live and you learn right?

    Try giving him a blow jo a bit so his d*** get wet and then use your hand. If you aren't at the bj stage, then use some lotion or lick your hand and get some moister on that bad boy. Start slow going from the bottom of the shaft all the way over the tip. A lot of girls stop right before the tip, and the tip is the best part for them so give it some loving too!

    I usually deep throat my man (which gets the most spit on it) and then I use my hand and go slow to fast, talking dirty while I do it. "f*** yeah, you like that babe" yada yada. haha

    have fun girl;)

  • I hate handjobs. I like getting blowjobs way more.

  • why would you doing something that he can do himself? blow jobs are much better than hand jobs.

  • I suck at Hj's and I'm expirenced

    Hj's just suck in general

    give a BJ

  • if there was a movie title for hand jobs it would be - fast and furious.

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