I have a boyfriend, who I love but he doesn't arouse me anymore, someone else does though.

[CallaLily]

I don't know what to do, and need some advice... My boyfriend and I have been together for over two years, and we are having sex, but not nearly as much as when we started dating. I don't desire him anymore and I don't know why because I do love him and he is an awesome boyfriend...Loyal, sweet, caring...But he doesn't make me wanna jump his bones... I feel really bad because one of my guy friends I work with is really flirty with me all the time. He compliments me, I catch him staring at me all the time, he is always seems like intrigued by me when we talk and he does cute things like biting his lip, and looking at me in this way...I can't explain it but I feel it, and literally that is all it takes from him and my panties are soaked... So how is it that someone I am NOT in love with, can easily get me aroused, but someone I love, cannot...What the hell am I supposed to do?

[mattiee]

All girls who have boyfriends do get attracted by other men its natural I work with many women and they tell me all the time, I think this sorta goes along the lines of new is good also you are young and curious(you seem very young and probably haven't been with many men)...You might be bored of the sex with your boyfriend (I had the same thing with my ex I could go at it for 30 + min and had to force myself to finish) you can only do the same routine so many times before it gets boring, try switching it up be spontaneous do it in different places & places you never done it, different positions, role play, costumes, toys etc...if you really love your boyfriend and want it to work you will find ways to make it work. You need to weigh out the scenario just because the guy turns you on will he ever be able to give you the other things that your boyfriend gives you? Loyalty, Sweetness & Caring? Just because something isn't working you don't have to throw it out try to fix it...

[CallaLily]

great answer. thanks

[kheserthorpe]

Unfortunately, this is normal, and more true for women then for men.

You either need to find a way to spice things up and get a little more excited with your boyfriend, or break up.

He may have a lot of great qualities, but if one of them isn't 'open minded about trying to keep sex hot a few years in', then he's a great 1-2 year boyfriend, but not the right guy for you long term.

you have to be putting in an effort as well of course.

The other thing that tends to be helpful by the way is seeing your boyfriend in environments where you can appreciate the qualities you first found attractive in him. Note that's not at home being sweet, that's more likely how he is in public when not paying attention to you.

[Stacyzee]

People need to understand the honey moon phase of the relationship eventually dies out.

Yes, your partner may still be attractive but you can't expect to have that feeling of wanting

to pounce on them (last forever).

This is why long term couples usually do things to rekindle their relationship or add that excitement factor in it.

Understand that men are able to get aroused more easily than women, that

is why he is able to look and you and get turned on.

Try to do things you used to do when you first got together, that

may make things a bit more fresh.

Even try to introduce roleplay into your sex lives to make things more better, or toys.

[CallaLily]

he would be offended if I asked to bring toys in the bed with us...:(

[Stacyzee]

I don't see how that is offensive. He must be insecure. It's an interesting idea, he needs to keep an open mind.

[Laurora]

It's what saved my longterm relationship... Thank the inventor of toys

[katiesmuff]

You had better find a way to spice things up and get a sexual interest in the boyfriend or let him go, because there is no doubt that very soon your work buddy will have his penis buried deep inside your pussie with your legs wrapped tightly around his back as the two of you f*ck like rabbits.

[Anonymous]

i think you could spice things up again ad if it doesn't work dump him

[NewYorkCity]

Well you can't have both, it seems like you guys ran out of sex adrenalin and now you are looking for more. To be honest with you, as long as he is around you, you will feel that way. Though the problem is You unfortunately for me to say not your Boyfriend and why it is a problem because even if you won't see him anymore there is always another. Basically you are sliding from your slope as I can see and again unfortunately something bad will happen if not today then a month or a year from now. Sexual attraction is very important especially at your age and it seems like you guys unloaded entire clip and now you just want to get a new gun with new bullets so you can feel that adrenalin that you'w been feeling a guess years ago. Just be careful Ones you change your weapon most likely you won't stop looking for a better one.

[patoot10]

lust

[CallaLily]

i don't think so

[rabbit3891]

Well you have options, it sounds like you love your boyfriend and want to stay with him. Would it be possible to have a sexual relationship with the co worker without the boyfriend finding out? That sounds like your best option to me.

[Paullus]

Sit down with your loved one and have an open conversation about how you feel.

[Hanzo]

Leave him for the other guy like all you women do.

[Anonymous]

This coworkers attention is fresh, which causes the excitement. It isn't based on any type of real connection you've made, just that it resembles that new crush/flirty stage.

Without any other details, my first guess would be that you've lost a certain amount of spark in your relationship.

[Anonymous]

That's life. It's normal.