Guys, do you hate being turned down sexually?

[Anonymous]

Please help me with my story - - - - > :) My boyfriend was getting all sexual and horny so he wanted to fool around but I didn't because I knew it would just lead to be being frustrated at not being able to get off and me just giving him a blowjob (ive never had sex he's waiting for me) (I love giving him blowjobs but I am just insecure about myself and my abilities to communicate with him what I like). Therefore, I didn't want to be stressed. I kind of just gave in and made out, but resisted and said things like "im not taking anything off". He found ways to take my sweater off but that's it. He kept on trying to entice me. I was horny but I didn't want to get frustrated with myself so I tried stopping and changing the subject. He thinks basically he can get what he wants from me anytime? do all guys thinks this from their girlfriends? Do they think that can always get sex (oral or intercoure)? SHOULD they always get sex? Eventually I said "lets just watch the movie" and you could tell her was upset. He eventually got over it. Was he hurt by this? Do guys hate it they are turned down? Should I never do this again? lol :) Okay thanks guys.

[kheserthorpe]

Its crushingly disappointing, basically, and is the most fundamental rejection you can experience.

When I was your age however, I'd never been in a situation where I wasn't being rejected at least in some ways, and considered it normal. I expected it to be like that. I wished my partner would want me the way I wanted her, but didn't think that I should dump who I was with and go looking for someone more compatible.

If I were single again, I mean everyone is off things occasionally, but if it were a normal thing, I'd be gone.

Specifically answering your questions:

Was he hurt by this? Yes. He wants you tremendously. When you get rejected you feel like they don't want you, they're not attracted to you and they can't even do something pleasurable to make you happy as well.

Everyone hates being turned down. People learn to get over it, sort of, but there's a difference between learning to deal with it and learning not to take it personally and learning not to take it personally while still being aware of the overall relationship status.

You should do it again when you really don't want to be sexual. If you don't generally WANT to meet most of your boyfriends sexual needs in some manner, you probably shouldn't be in a monogamous relationship.

[summiter]

Look you have to want sex...if you don't or are not ready for it then stick to your values. Of course it is tough for a guy. We are always horny 24/7. If it is OK with you give him a handjob or two when you are together. It may help him wait until you are ready. If he is not getting any relief sexually from you he is jerking off as soon as he gets home. It is difficult but he will cope!

[upsyndrome]

He thinks basically he can get what he wants from me anytime?

I don't know what he thinks.

do all guys thinks this from their girlfriends?

No, not all guys. Remember, just like girls, all guys are different.

Do they think that can always get sex (oral or intercourse)?

Not all guys.

SHOULD they always get sex?

Only have sex when you want to. You should never do it because you feel you have to. If he gets angry at you for that then maybe you should question why he's with you in the first place.

Was he hurt by this? Do guys hate it they are turned down?

He was probably just annoyed. I know I used to get annoyed when my boyfriend did that (it's a bitch when the tables turn), but never angry.

No one likes being turned down, but no one dies from it either. We all usually get over it.

[katiesmuff]

Sex is something you only do when you want to do it and it should not be something you are being pushed into. Not all guys are the same just as all girls are not the same

[yaddayaddayadda02]

Yes, we hate it.

[esewei]

if you feel insecure you should maybe ask him to masturbate for you maybe flash him some boobies :)

[Tarvold]

Yes, you are fully entitled to stop all sexual activity with anyone at anytime for any reason.

No, it is not right for him to expect sex from you anytime he wants.

However, between these two extremes lay the grey area in which your case lies. In this case, he has agreed to give up sex with anyone else to be in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with you. This arrangement comes with the very reasonable expectation that you will be taking responsibility for his sexual needs. However, you seem to be totally ignoring his sexual needs for the sake of your own hangups and insecurities.

In a guy's eyes, this sort of behavior is not only grounds for breakup, its grounds for divorce.