Sexual Health
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Why do guys only want me for hooking up?

Every guy I meet seems to be only looking for a hook up. I can't understand why every guy only wants sex from me. My ex lead me on just for sex although I didn't sleep with him he still lead me on. I seem to attract players and guys just looking for sex . All the guys I go on dates with even tell me I'm a nice , pretty girl or very attractive. I don't dress like a slut either I have a casual but can be dressy style like biker chic or classy look. Why do they only want sex?Is it because I'm young only 20 so guys see me as a target? Do I need to date older guys like late twenties? I do get on with them well I just find myself attracted to older guys now (23-28/29) . I always reject every hook up offer that just isn't me.
Updates:
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Am I intimidating maybe come across as a girl who won't mess around?
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Do I need to be more straigh upt or fiesty? Maybe say something like "I'm not looking for hookups just wanted to be clear that doesn't mean I want to rush into any relationship just going with the flow but if you're just looking for sex I'm not the right girl for you" Would that be good? usually I tell most guys I'm going with the flow seeing what happens maybe that isn't clear enough?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • OK. Here's the reality of the situation. Men and women have different priorities. Men generally prioritize sex, and women generally prioritize relationships. That's why it's harder for men to get sex than for women. And that's why it's harder for a woman to upgrade sex to a relationship than for a man.

    For a guy to persuade a girl to go on a date with him or hook up with him, he generally has to be confident and charming. Therefore, most likely, the guys who are dating you and hooking up with you are confident and charming guys, who, because of their charm and confidence (which many other guys simply don't have), have A LOT of options. You need to think, "What is going to make a guy who has a lot of options commit himself to me?" The answer is, ultimately, personality. You need to be loving, caring, interesting to talk to. If the only time a guy genuinely enjoys being with you is when he's having sex with you, guess what: he's not going to want to do anything but that with you.

    The other option is to approach guys yourself, which will give you access to guys who aren't as charming/confident and therefore don't have as many options.

    Good luck.

    • I am all of those things personalitywise I just avoid hooking up with guys. I always get told I'm a nice girl or really attractive or sweet but I'm only wanted for sex but always turn it down.

  • The best place to find guys who don't want to have sex with a pretty 20-year-old girl is in a gay bar or a cemetery...

    Sorry, I couldn't resist that one. Seriously, I think you have found the answer: don't sleep with them. In fact, tell them that you will not have sex until you date a guy for a year. If all they want is sex, then that should make them go away. If you really want to discourage them, say you won't have sex until you are married...

    When you eventually find a guy who still wants to be with you without the sex (or is willing to wait a year--or marry you), then you can decide to change your policy. However, you should probably make him wait at least 6 months just to be sure...

    I should say that there are guys out there who are looking for something more serious than a hook up. Finding them is the hard part. And they may not be the 'hottest' guys in town, so you might have to expand your horizons...

    • Oh I don't need a year before sex I wouldn't mind 2-3 months for the sex thing it's just so annoying the way most just want to hook up I'm usually got at spotting them or they tell me.

Most Helpful Girls

  • It has nothing to do with the age range.I think it just by coincidence you met the wrong type of guys.Plus you are good looking so it will be difficult for you to find someone who really like you for yourself.My suggestion is try getting to know them well before you decided to go for a date.I mean you can know at least a little bit of their personality by just talking to them through text and phone.

  • The thing all these guys have in common is you. You are picking the wrong type of men.

    • I have to agree here QA...you seem to be attracted to sexually forward men.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Some guys want only sex. Some want to have a girlfriend they have sex with. Those are your choices.

    "Go with the flow" is general code for sex without defining relationship for a lot of guys. I would not say that.

    No hookup + not looking for a relationship sounds like you are looking for friends who buy you dinner.

    • Oh right I thought that meant I'm in no rush to define anything but not looking for sex but not rushing into a relationship so quickly. What would be better to say?

    • I agree with the third sentence...u must understand that EVERY guy (that isn't asexual) is seeking sex...but not all JUST want sex.

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