How to hook up for the first time?

Question

Okay so I am 18 and a senior in high school. I am also a virgin and have never had any kind of sex before. My friend at school has hooked me up with this guy on Facebook and he is taking me out Friday. We have been texting and messaging for a few days and I found out that he wants to hook up. When he texted me saying that he wanted to try things with me, I told him I had no experience. He said he would show me. I freaked out and asked my friend about blow jobs and other stuff. I am scared because I wanna try with him but what if I make a total fool of myself? I think this guy is cute and I wanna hook up with him but I have no idea what to do and how far to go with him.i have never met this guy before and I have also never had sex before. Should we just make out ? (I have also never made out before) or should we try oral sex or just touching? I'm scared. Please give me advice on what I should do. I also don't wanna seem like I'm an easy girl. The date is this Friday and I need as much advice as I can get

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

IMO, you need to take things slow. Going from 0 to 100 in one night is a bit much, don't you think?

My recommendation would be:

First 2 weeks or 3 dates, whichever is longer: nothing more than making out/second base.

Next 2 weeks/3 dates: handjobs/fingering.

Next 2 weeks/3 dates: oral.

Then, and only then, should you try sex.

Obviously, feel free to adjust the timelines to match your actual circumstances, but you don't need to be in such a rush. Sex will be much, MUCH better for both of you, but especially for you, if you are relaxed and comfortable with him, and have built up some trust with him first. Do NOT let him pressure you into quick and easy sex just because he wants it; that's the best way to get used for sex and then dumped. If you stretch out the time as I suggest, there's plenty of time to abort the plan if he turns out to be a jerk.

You say you are scared, which means you clearly aren't ready. You have to crawl before you can walk, much less before you try to run a marathon. Don't put so much pressure on yourself, or let him pressure you. Talk to him and give him YOUR expectations (a rough schedule like I wrote above, though you don't need to give him exact timelines, just a rough outline), and make it clear that you won't be moving to the next step until you are comfortable doing so, and that you need to know that he really cares.

You're plenty old enough to have sex if you want to, but you're also old enough to realize that sex comes with lots of potential problems and responsibilities too, so it's important to have the rest of your relationship up to par before you add sex to the mix, or things can get messy, even disastrous, very quickly. As the girl, you have STDs and pregnancy to think about too, so you need to know something about the guy before you just jump into bed with him.

cheeky_starfish · Accepted Answer

Just because this guy is 'cute' and is being really nice to you doesn't mean that you owe him anything or that you should be contemplating sexual activities on your first date with him when you don't really know him and have never met him before! I mean you might not even like the guy? He may just be wanting to take advantage of you and your lack of experience? How do you not know that he hasn't been with loads of other women and worst case scenario, has some kind of STD?

If you like the sound of this guy, then I really think you need to date him a few times and get to know him a little better before you take things as far as being sexual with him. Yes, share a kiss if the date goes well, but get to know him a little better before it goes any further than that! I hope this helps you and that you have a good date! keep safe and good luck! :o)

FaerieGirl · Accepted Answer

I might wait until you meet someone you know you love before you have sex. Normally I would say get married first, but at least make sure you love them.

Sex is very down rated now, but once you give your virginity away, you can never take it back.

misupanda · Accepted Answer

If you do something on the first date, you're going to appear easy to most guys. Why do you feel the need to rush into everything so quickly instead of taking smaller steps?  Is there a reason?

Hyped_up_on_coffee · Accepted Answer

How could you have sex with someone you have never met in person?  You don't know if they have any std's ! That is so wrong ! Seriously , have some love and respect for yourself.

LilyTaylor · Answer

Check out Laci Green on YouTube. She is really helpful

DMoPrime · Answer

OMG!  Don't go on the date and unfriend this person that hooked you up with this guy.  I realize you are only 18 and I'm sure you and this guy have raging hormones but you are SO young, there is plenty of time for you to do all those things and more but just wait and do it with someone you actually know and have feelings for.  If you go out with this guy and do things with him the chances are he'll never call you again and if he does it will be just to get more favors from you.  Really think about all this.  Best of luck to you.

Jonny_ · Answer

If you don't want to seem easy then you should probably avoid doing any of that on the first time you've ever actually met the guy... Especially anything beyond kissing. As for when you want to actually try sex or oral, there will be a point when you don't know exactly what you're doing and the only way to feel more comfortable about it and to learn how to do it, is by actually doing it. Yes it could be good or bad, but that's how it is.

kheserthorpe · Answer

There is no reason to try to make him think you're experienced, since most guys find it hot if you're inexperienced.

Its normal that he's eager to hook up.

Do you want a boyfriend, or just to fool around?

Dionysos · Answer

Own your desires. Never be ashamed of going after what you want in life.

If those pics are you, you've got this covered. Just pick the guy you want, tell him exactly what you want and the odds are he'llbe honored to provide it.

I'm not joking.

Stay safe, only ever do what you WANT to do in bed, and above all, have fun doing it. Welcome to adulthood! :)

yaddayaddayadda02 · Answer

You may want to stick to just making out at first.  You don't sound like you are ready for sex.

jessicashell · Answer

I get that you want to have sex, but, seriously. Just wait for it to happen naturally. You're first kiss shouldn't be with a random guy. Much less your first time.

Toxicproblem · Answer

You haven't even gone out and you want to just hook up? wow girl calm down and think about that.

Anon1999 · Answer

I think you need to seriously think about doing anything sexually with anyone you haven't even met. Have you considered the risk of STD's? You can pretty much get those from anything other than kissing. I think you should at least hangout with him a few times before you plan to do anything with him. I don't understand the logic of planning to do sexual things with someone you have never met and don't know, might just be me.

Kabluie · Answer

See where it takes you, and don't be afraid about looking like a fool. Everyone was new at something at one time or another. As for the easy comments here, it isn't like anyone is kissing and telling.

Dandeus · Answer

Straight up, if you hook up with someone you've never met before, you WILL look like an easy girl. That's the definition of easy. Scared and inexperienced as you are, you won't enjoy it, and will almost certainly regret it. No high school kid is mature enough to teach you properly, either.

TylerDurden9087 · Answer

Number one, I know I'm going to sound old here but I don't care, why don't you try actually talking to him on the phone or in person? Young people are so disconnected socially nowadays it's disgusting. You wanna hook up with a guy with whom you've never spoke with or met? Not to sound rude but you really don't even know this guy whatsoever. Texting and messaging is no way to get to know somebody. I would suggest having a conversation with this guy or meeting him before you even consider sexual things. "I want to try things with you" that's just creepy

sluggofacepoojohnson · Answer

Only listen to the answer by Dandeus unless you are not an emotional and caring person. If you do this you will feel cheap. There is a reason you are inexperienced. You have not found the right guy and this is not the avenue to do it. Sex will come in time. Relax

evelyntoo · Answer

Don't rush into it hun.. do some practice on your own tell you get the hang of it..e

SaltandVinegar · Answer

At the end of the date if you still want to do things with him (this does not make you easy!) just let him take the lead.  I'm sure he will  try to kiss you and just let things progress from there, if you are  unsure of something ask him. DONT forget he said he would show you what to do so don't worry about it!