Sexual Health
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Why does it matter how many sexual partners a woman or man has had?

Why does it matter how many sexual partners a woman has had to you? If she is clean and stable minded, perhaps made mistakes. You can learn from mistakes... Is it because the man is insecure that she has had a better sex partner or seen a bigger penis? Is it power, jealousy, dominance? Even if you say she is "easy" why does that matter? And why does it matter how many partners a man has had, if they are clean? my answer is because I would feel insecure that he has been with a sexier wilder sex cat than me.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • How many partners a woman has had? There's multiple reasons. (Since I'm not into guys, I don't really care about the flip side of the coin much.)

    And yes, part of it is insecurity. But feeling insecure often relates to when your position is insecure, and you are at risk. Many times, it's idiotic to ignore such feelings. Let's say I'm moonlighting as a bodyguard for someone who has to go somewhere and get a package from some hostile people. I'm there, I see one of the people move towards a chest and reach into it. Maybe it's nothing, but I will feel alarmed/insecure because maybe it's a handgun or a blunt weapon. if I ignore that feeling, and the odds aren't with me, I could get hurt, or the guy that hired me could. Should I just "man up" and not feel insecure, ignore it? Or be safe and not get hurt?

    Women who've had more sex partners are not desirable for serious relationships, because:

    1. Sex is supposed to be very special. The more partners you've had, the less special it is to you. Women aren't public toilets--"oh, who cares how many people have pissed on it, as long as the janitor cleaned it a few hours ago?"

    2. Women who have had more sex partners are more likely to cheat or divorce a man. And since people always say, "I don't believe studies actually are evidence" I'm not going to bother posting it, but ask if you want.

    3. People pine after past lovers, and women do so plenty. link The way it's worse for women is, women often have flings with hotter guys than would ever commit to them. So they get an inflated view of themselves. Like, an 8 girl could marry an 8 guy, but she's probably had flings with 9's, or maybe 10's, so she thinks she deserves a 9 or 10 instead of settling for an 8.

    4. Women get ruined easily and become alpha widows. Men, we've all met those sad women. They had a fling/short term "relationship" with some brash, attractive guy who didn't give a damn about them, and after getting dumped, they never got over him. Who wants to deal with that?

    5. Women do compare lovers. We all know it. "oh, dwayne was an animal in bed, oh, that bbc I hooked up with in Jamaica was smoking, blah blah." Who wants to deal with that?

    6. Women are emotionally effected by semen during unprotected sex--hormones in it effect the woman, and change her mood. Again, not going to bother linking a study since morons always go, "well, I don't believe that study because I feel it's mean!" It's also logical to then suppose--that different men have different genetics, different semen, and cause different effects on women--and that changing often could have adverse effects a woman's emotions, etc.

    7. Seriously, read some of those stories about college sluts who can't relate, can't stand men trying to be physical unless they've had a few shots, etc.

    • Oh, and here--40% of women think sex was better with an ex than current lover. Who wants to deal with that? link We always feel better about past things, like "oh, that was an awesome college, the good old days, etc." But who in their right mind will get a slut and then subject himself to "oh, trayvon with his 9 inch dick in college was so much better, aside from his crack hahbit"

  • To a point, yes it does. Everyone makes mistakes sure, but when you can't count the number of different sexual partners you've had on your hands, you start to look like a whore, depending on age.

    It's really a reflection of her judgement. People change, but not that much. Plus nobody wants to be with a whore, man or woman.

    • ok fair enough...if I slept with 11 guys between 15-17 and now I've been with one for 8 years am I still a whore ? in your opinion?

    • I'd say you were as a teenager, but people radically change during their teenage years. I'm talking about decisions made as an adult.

    • yeah I was a total idiot in high school...breaks my heart...thanks for not thinking I'm a total whore now

Most Helpful Girls

  • The main concerns are over whether he is clean, and whether he respects women in bed.

    I'm also a huge proponent of fairness with this issue. My number rarely meets a guy's "too many" list unless he's a virgin, but regardless of whether he's OK with MY number, it's important to me that he is fair. Most guys that have been with say, 10 women or so, are OK if a girl has also been with 10 men. However, when men hit much bigger numbers, like 40 women, some start to develop more of a double standard. They wouldn't be OK with their girlfriend sleeping with 40 men. I hate the double standard, so I don't date guys like this.

  • I don't want a guy who has slept around because I have not slept around in the past too. I believe everyone should be with their equal in every sense. If a guy who is a virgin demands a virgin girl, it is perfectly acceptable. If a guy who has slept around a lot demands a virgin girl, it is NOT okay because it's hypocritical as fuck.

  • According to 75% of then men on this site if a woman has had sex with more then 3 guys, she is a slut. According to 75% of the women on this site if a guy has had sex with more then 5 women, he is a pig. A lot of young and uptight people on this site.

    • You are so right. Men or women can sleep with one or fifty people, it's their body. They do what they want. My boyfriend has experience, so do I. We don't see it as a threat to our relationship

    • People can do what they want with their own body. Problem is, when they want to claim to others that they should be able to do that and everyone should still find them relationship material. It's like smoking. You want to smoke, OK. But medical evidence confirms it's a very unhealthy habit, and it makes you reek like smoke. So do you get to tell everyone, "you're messed/old fashioned up if you won't date a smoker, it's a healthy habit"?

    • Since I'm sure you are refering to women here, let me say this. Just because a woman has sex with more guys then you might find acceptable doesn't mean they can't be a part of a healthy relationship. People are more sexually experienced these days. People outside of this site understand that. People on here are overly-moral, unrealistc and have little to no life experience.

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What Girls & Guys Said

4 7

  • It does not matter!

  • It doesn't matter and these whiny little boys can stop judging now!

  • After a certain point it indicates something about their sexual values. For example, if you've had sex with 40 different people by the time you're 25, I can learn something about how you treat sex. I know you haven't had them all in relationships. It suggests you may be impulsive, weak willed, attention craving, unstable, or something else along these lines that might lead you to make these choices (and when you have this many partners, they ARE choices, not mistakes). It also suggests that you don't value monogamy, and also that you probably have a history of heavy partying.

    • what is she had 40 partners, but then went 10 years with only one...doesn't that show she has changed?

    • It doesn't mean she changed at all. Maybe she fell madly in love with one guy and changed her habits for him, but it obviously hasn't lasted if she's dating again, and there's no reason to suspect that she feels as dedicated to me as she did the other guy. Changing for someone else isn't the same as changing your values on your own terms.

  • Well, it doesn't matter if a guy is just looking for a piece of ass, but we don't want to seriously date a girl that every guy in town has had a turn with.

    • you never said why...I already know that, I want to know WHY

  • Insecurity...

  • Because a guy's sex doesn't matter. Look on the bright side, at least people care when women get raped.

  • Now granted the past is just that the past, if there is possibly something there with the girl for me I want to make sure she isn't a whore or anything.

    Who says it doesn't matter how many partners a guy has had? If he tells you the real number most girls would judge him. A double standard yes and probabbly not fair to either sex.

  • On this site it matters a lot. That's why I get so amused on here.

  • I don't want a manwhore

  • We can say whatever we want but the fact is it does matter and that's not going to change anytime soon. It's been part of human nature for thousands of years and is not going to change overnight.

    • WHY you never said why is matters, I already know it does my question is why

    • I did say why - it's because we're human. It's in our nature, our DNA. I could speculate about what in the history of our species made us that way but I would just be guessing. I doubt even sociologists or paleontologists really understand why.

  • it doesn't matter. it really doesn't .

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