If my bj lasts long, does it mean my skills are lacking?

[Anonymous]

I was having performance doubts last night. Gave my new boyfriend a hj/bj for the first time. I have only done this with one other guy in my life (my ex), whom was a virgin when I met him. So I practiced on him for a few years and he claimed he enjoyed my bjs a lot but now I'm wondering if I'm actually any good. Why? Well the bj/hj lasted a while with this new guy, maybe twice longer than with my ex, and it surprised me even more cause I thought he would finish faster as this was the first time with me. This happened in the end of a looong makeout session (3 hours, late at night after a long day at work for him). His boner was slightly on and off meanwhile. He never got full-blown soft, but he wasn't at his hardest the whole way through. Whenever he hasn't as hard, I felt like I was doing poorly at this specific moment. by the way, should I assume that it means he doesn't enjoy what I'm doing in particular as much as he could? Cause I did take it as a sign that I should try doing something else. He's not a noisy guy so the only encouragements I had were a few hand strokes and hair petting every now and then. He got a few spasms sometimes too, which was new to me. I don't know what to make of it. He produced precum fairly early but didn't come until a while. I tried being as creative as possible because I was getting frustrated. I swallowed him completely, which was a way bigger order than I had expected (a LOT of sperm, took at least 15-30 seconds until he was done). Afterwards, he said I had made his eyes roll in the back of his head in the middle of it. I guess he was lying so relaxed there, making very little noise and taking so long to finish, I was very insecure that he wasn't enjoying himself as much as he used to when his exes were giving it to him. How do I know I'm doing okay? How can I get better at it? He gives me such outstanding oral/fingering blends, I want to impress him but I feel like it'll take me a lot to get there. Yes, it's nice that he claimed he was holding up pretty good when I was on top of him, naked, but not pleasuring him down there just yet. Shows that he has experience and self-control BUT it also makes me doubt my sexual appeal sometimes. :( Note: He told me that he must get himself off before bed everyday. He claims it's pretty bad and he can't skip it ever. Is that common? I didn't think much of it, but now I'm wondering if that could explain his endurance.

[Sovereign1979]

I would not say that you are lacking anything. I mean I wouldn't know without having testing the equipment ;-).

But few things, and none are bad.

Never judge two guys in that department. They will not be the same. And if you only have two to compare, that is not a lot to compare. Many different reasons could come into play.

Your ex might have been more comfortable with you versus your new guy. This could play a BIG part in "how fast".

Guys have things that run through our minds when we get naked infront a woman for the first time also.

Some guys just take longer to come from oral than others. Some can't come at all from oral from what I hear. And some have better control over the nut than other guys. Personally, I can get close, tell her I am and if she stops, she stops and works it up again. If she wants a mouth full she gets one right now. So even though I do get close multiple times, I can too prolong it for 20,30,40 minutes until she is ready to take it or I can't handle it any longer.

But you get frustrated because it was taking longer than you "thought" it would take. Now I will tell you the same thing I tell guys out here that sex is not a race. It should not be rushed. This question I answered was regarding to a guy going down on a woman. Same scenario, just reversed. But the point still holds true.

I would not worry about the first few times with him. Give him a few to get comfortable. If it doesn't change, then it just may be him, or him wanting to lye back and enjoy it for a bit. If he said you made his eyes roll to the back of his head, than it sounds like there is not a problem. ;-).

[bruvleigh]

he told you that he loved it... and from what you described he isn't lying

it isn't about your skills, their obviously good enough for him.

the time he lasts is almost exclusively his own stamina, nothing to do with you

[katiesmuff]

Maybe but whatever it is I doubt it is anything you did or didn't do!

[myspacemybroke]

Some guys just take a long time to get off. Sex for me usually lasts upwards of if not over an hour without even trying. Last time I got sucked off it also took some time, but it wasn't a negative. I just laid back and enjoyed it. Just because it doesn't happen quickly doesn't mean it isn't a good experience.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

I don't think you're doing anything wrong. Stop over thinking. Yeah, if he clears the chambers before getting with you, it will make the bj last longer.

[lkjhg69cum]

Some guys just take a while to come with oral. Just don't stop, and ask him to tell you What's good and What's not. Also I LOVE it when a woman lightly plays with my balls while she is giving me head. Work on the deep throat and no teeth at all.

[BoobMan]

If you're excited about practicing your bj technique, I can guarantee you 99% of guys would LOVE to get blown by you.

[madgreek436]

no that means he really enjoyed it id love a girl like u

[ImHungry]

It really boils down to the guy. There really aren't many ways to give a bad blow job.

[Anonymous]

no not at all

[Anonymous]

TL;DR

Look, it's this simple. You're over thinking this. You don't necessarily suck. In fact if you can make him come from oral alone, you're really good at it. Some guys just can't get off from oral. Some guys are really hard to get off, period.

Stop thinking about it. You're fine.

[Gone_But_Not_Lost]

In a nutshell, this.

[myspacemybroke]

Agreed

[swiftsaver602]

"if you can make him come from oral alone, you're really good at it." This is great news! : )