Unlike most men, I agree with the assessment that it's degrading. For men who say it's not, I simply ask, would you be comfortable with your daughter being in that industry?
I have never been to a strip club or any place like it, and have no intention of going. I am perfectly happy with my girlfriend and I'm good with her body and don't need anyone else's to drool over. That being said, the world is what it is and I don't judge other men for going to these establishments.
I have friends who are married, that go to places like this. Their wives know about it and are fine with it. Honesty is what makes a relationship successful, and since they're honest this hasn't been a problem in their marriages.
Your relationship and their marriages are significantly different however. First, you, as the girlfriend, are not okay with it. Second, you mentioned he's lied about it. Lastly, he's being hypocritical. He looks down on these women, yet he's a frequent visitor.
It seems that regardless, you're not okay with his behavior, so the two of you need to communicate about the problem until you better understand why he does this or until he stops going to these places. Either way, it seems you're focused more on this than your happiness.
Communication and honesty is key. Good luck.0 0 0 1It is only degrading if someone is being forced to do something they don't want to do. They are performers, and nothing more, nothing less. It is unlikely he actually looks down at these women, more likely he is just telling you what you want to hear to avoid an argument. Guys do that all the time.
This has nothing to do with the objectification of women, it has to do with your insecurities. You talk about being hot and attractive yourself, and complain at the same time that you don't like women being objectified. Do you have any idea how hypocritical that is? You need to address the real reason you don't like him going. It sounds more like you are jealous. You even admit he would be jealous if the tables were turned.
I am not going to say that you need to get over your insecurities because it isn't always that easy, but you need to address what is really upsetting you. It isn't the objectification of women, it is jealousy. Tell him it really bothers you. Maybe some agreement can be reached where he would only go on an important event, like his best friends birthday or something. If it becomes a once or twice a year thing maybe that is something you can live with. Or maybe you can convince him not to go at all. If that doesn't work dump him and find a more compatible partner.1 1 0 0I know it's my insecurity. If I'm this hot why isn't it enough? Why does he have to go look at other women? I asked him to go to a male strip joint with me because he wanted to by me a female lap dance and he wouldn't even discuss it. He said absolutely not. I repeat why am I expected to behave a certain way and men get to be hypocrites?
If he doesn't want to go to a male strip club that is fine. That is his choice. If you don't want to go to a female strip club or get a lap dance from a girl then that is fine as well. That is your choice. You are not expected to act a certain why while men act another way. You are expected to speak your mind and stand up for yourself when someone asks you to do something you are uncomfortable with. Sounds like you are letting him mess with your head. That can effect your self esteem even more.
I feel hot. I just want a guy to want me more than other women. Why do all men want other women if they are happy in their relationships? Would you get a lap dance from another guy if your girlfriend got one from another woman? Be honest. I want to understand why women are expected to behave certain ways but not men. No I don't want a female lap dance it'd be embarrassing and gross. I'd do it if he would do the same for me though. It's about equality to me.
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0 5So you're threatened by some waitress at a casual dining restaurant? Wow. Yeah, I'm sure those girls are so desperate for attention that YOUR boyfriend is the one they'll chase after right? Unbelievable. Newsflash, if your boyfriend wants to cheat on you, and I seriously doubt he does, then nothing is going to stop that from happening. Even if he never steps foot in another tilted kilt or strip club again.
0 0 1 0Did I say anywhere in my text I was afraid he'd cheat, no because it isn't about that? I know he's faithful. The point is if I had a guy behave to me the way women behave in these places he'd be mad. I fact I don't know any boyfriend that would be OK with his girlfriend getting that kind of attention.
BS this is all about you being insecure. What attention? Them asking him if he's ready for another drink? What food is he going to order? Omg how does he resist this unbearable attention?
I believe I said I was insecure to the above response. I know I'm insecure which is why I thought I found a guy where I didn't have to deal with this shit. And I've been there with him and his friends. They lean over as much as the can to show of their cleavage and ass. Watching my boyfriend stare at another woman while I'm there isn't really a turn on to me. Watching men drool over women like they are nothing but sex toys is degrading.
How is it degrading? I frequent a strip club, and 99% of the women there have a blast. They're in total control of the situation. If anything it's degrading for the men. We sit on the sidelines with wallets in hand, while all they have to do is strut their stuff and move around a bit on stage.
0 1 1 0It desensitizes sexuality. Women being objectified is degrading what do I need to explain there. I find the it wrong in advertising to have scantily clad woman eating a cheeseburger. I find that most women that do these things have no self esteem, hence they do these things. They are so starved for attention they will do anything when really they need to get help. A lot of these women, girls in some cases, have run away from home, are taken advantage of, molested, raped, etc.
Selling themselves is the only thing they know. They are not in control of the situation. I don't see how it's degrading to men at all when they choose to throw their money away at, most likely, mentally unstable abused women. If anything these men should step up and help these women. A group of drunk, horny men hooting at a girl taking her clothes off on stage for money is chauvinistic and degrading to women.
Yep, opinions are just dandy
Tilted Kilt is not like Hooters or the strip club. Besides, the servers only act like they are interested in the guys when they are only interested in their wallets. It sounds like your guy just goes there to watch the fights. What's he going to do, tell his friends he can't go because his girlfriend doesn't like Tilted Kilt? He would be made fun of forever!
There's no scantily clan men next to the scantily clan women because near naked men does not bring in any business.0 0 0 0What are you, living in 1950? I'm sorry but you come off as snobby, jealous, and having a serious lack of self confidence. You need to get over it. If he says he's into you, he's into you. But also understand that just because he's into you doesn't mean he will never find another woman attractive. As long as he isn't cheating on you or flirting with these women then what's the problem. I think the issue is with you, not him. Just my opinion.
0 0 1 0Whatever you say. You men are all the same. It's all about what you see on the outside. Never about what's on the inside. Its disgusting too me..
Sounds like you're insecure and need to address that. As for women being objectified, you need to get over that as well. Guys don't like prudes. Women like being objectified. If you don't, keep it to yourself.
0 2 0 0Seriously I want answers to the many points I've brought up. Don't just call me insecure which I've already admitted to. And telling people to be silent about their opinions, especially a woman, isn't really a convincing point of view.
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