My husband wants to share me. What do you think his motivation is?

Question

My husband is in the military, we live just outside the base. Guys are coming home from Afghanistan. Many of them are coming home to no one. For a lot of them wives and girlfriends left them while they were over there, this happens a lot. There is what is called "The welcome home committee". These are women that will invite returning soldiers over and cook them a meal and in most circumstances have sex with them. My husband says that he wouldn't have a problem with me doing this. I don't have a problem with it and I'm probably going to do it. I'm sure that I'll get some responses saying if he loved you he wouldn't ask you to do this. Well, he does love me that is not in doubt. I'm just wondering if he wants me to do this because he wants to help his fellow soldiers or is he getting some sort of sexual charge out of it. What do you think?

ArabianPwincess197 · Accepted Answer

well you sure sound happy and eager to go and sleep with other men if in future my husband said that to me I'd slap him hard and then when he goes to sleep at night I'll strip him naked and leave him outside in the cold tied to the tree. That'd teach him. Just shows how much you and him value your vows.

A good wife - lets admit men tend to stupid things - but a wife has a lot of expectations on her - a woman is raised to be a good wife/mother/daughter - atm you are failing to be a good daughter and wife - cause your mum obviously didn't teach you to commit adultery and your actions reflect on her.

why are you asking our opinions when you know you'd get negative feedback and when you've already made up your mind to do this. No honourable wife would agree to this demand of her husband nm how much she loved him. Do you know what it means. That YOU are prostituting yourself minus the money or who knows your husband might be getting paid.

vikinggirl · Accepted Answer

I think as long as you are both OK with it then there is not a problem. I was in sort of that same situation when my hubby was deployed. When they are coming home they have a lot on their minds and have been through and seen a lot. Someone to spend time with and eat with is a nice thing to do. As far as the sex goes I think as long as you both can separate sex and love and see them as two separate things then there isn't an issue. My hubby gave it apparently a lot of thought and said the military was what he wanted and was never what I wanted. He told me it was unfair to expect me to just sit around waiting on him when he never considered my feelings when joining.
I think some guys do think of the guys they are with and I don't think this is a swinger thing or anything like that. Just make sure if you do it that it is what you want and don't just do it for him

Betwyn · Accepted Answer

I'm sure he gets something out of it sexually.

It may have been something he's wanted before, but never knew how to bring up before.

Maybe he felt guilty about it..

How did the whole topic come up?

My first boyfriend used to share me with his friends.

windyCitysFinest · Accepted Answer

this kind of relationship is not for everyone you will get lots of negative or either positive answers.

This however is not.

I think you both need to sit down, establish rules and lines not to be crossed. Talk about every scenario possible. Do you both trust each other enough? Do either of you get jealous? If either of you is not OK with it, the other person will get crushed and it could actually ruin your marriage. Once you open pandora's box everything is possible and you really do not go back to being normal. I am no the type of person to share or be shared that is not why I got married. Maybe that is a fantasy of yours and he wants to just make you or he has the fantasy. I hope you the best of luck in your choice and just remember this needs to be accepted and talked out on both parties. let us know how it goes.

Theguyoverthere · Accepted Answer

I actually just an email on my casual encounters ad from a couple and the guy wanted to watch me have sex with her wife(and sometimes join in). I declined it because it feels weird to me. But it is not the first time I have been invited into such a thing. I had gotten another one from a boyfriend/girlfriend couple who wanted to have sex with me while her boyfriend listened on the phone. I think like a year ago another couple wanted me to fuck their wife too. I haven't done this but it seems to be something couples do. I don't know what the gratification is but maybe they enjoy see the wife during sex in a third person perspective.

pr3ttybr0wn · Answer

Because he's a sexual deviant.

indy7 · Answer

He's not doing it to help his fellow soldiers, he's doing for his own sort of sexual pleasure.

It sounds kind of exciting to me, but there's no way I could ever follow through and do that with my wife. It's fine if you and others do it. I just couldn't. Strange, when I was young I'd thought I'd be more open with my marriage than that. lol

parkway · Answer

Sex with another mans wife is an Article 134 violation. He and the men who have sex with you or any married woman means his time served will be for nothing.

They have something on him, possibly he did something perverted while away and has to sell you to pay for his depot.

You say he loves you. If you believe this, his request means nothing is special, not his woman, not his country, not God, not his marriage. Does this make sense?

bdeakol · Answer

I get the whole cooking a meal part, but sex? Why would they need sex?

CharlieBadger · Answer

It could be a combination of a few things.

1. He feels sorry for his brothers in arms and wants them to have a good experience when returning home.

2. He has some sort of hotwife fantasy, either cuckold or stag vixen, depending on if he is exerting control in these situations or not.

3. If doing this while he is deployed, he knows that it will help keep you satisfied in his absence.

Now if it were just 2, why soldiers coming home and not local guys? He probably doesn't want you to fall for them and a soldier coming home is likely to have some R&R saved up and will not be sticking around for weeks of sessions. This means they are less likely to become a problem for him. And since they are coming home from a stint in the Middle East, it is less likely that they contracted an STI while deployed. Meaning the one night stand is safer in general. Plus, a local is more likely to be disrespectful of the military in general.

So, if you are game go for it. Just make sure this is actually what you both want before you do it.

katiesmuff · Answer

It's not all that unusual for husbands to have this fetish.  They get very turned on watching their wife or girlfriends in non married cases getting f*cked by another person or persons.

jpinka · Answer

Im sure in additional to helping he likes the idea of his wife getting banged by another man. he seems opened minded so ask him why his response might turn you on.

yaddayaddayadda02 · Answer

He has a cuckold fantasy.

jdfarmer · Answer

The question is what is your take on the sharing thing?

jdfarmer · Answer

he needs to seek therapy, that's one thing not to share!

allpowerfuloz · Answer

Dont do it.. Ex military here. Don't wory about motive, just say no, unless you want to go to divorce court. That is the end result of sharing your loved one.

kangaru · Answer

Some guys have fantasy but I find them weird... A decent guy wouldn't allow any other man to touch their loved ones...

dudeman · Answer

hes gay and doesn't give a shit about you, that was easy. next question

Nerdvana · Answer

If you do it, I think its' great you are that open. I am sure the guys will thank you too. lol.  But what about the sex part?

dolfan13 · Answer

his motivation is for his fellow soldier. However, not many people can relate to this situation because this is not the usual husband wants to have a 3some or watch his friend sleep with his wife. We should help the returning soldiers, I don't know about sex but with a cooked meal and house to stay by sounds normal. If you do it thank you for serving our country.

IsoUser · Answer

I cannot even imagine other than giving him a perfectly honest explanation of divorce from you Lol

redradioflyer · Answer

Why don't you ask him? If you are sure he loves you and you trust him that much you should be able to have an honest conversation about it. If you can't I'd say your relationship probably isn't strong enough to handle it.