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Was it disrespectful for my new boyfriend to finish in my mouth on our first BJ and not even tell me?

Well I don't even know if you call him my boyfriend but he is a guy I have been dating for about a month now and we got pretty intimate with each other this afternoon and I ended up going down on him. We were sitting on my couch making out feeling each other up and then I got on my knees in front of him and started giving him a blowjob. About five minutes into it with no warning at all I felt him coming in my mouth, I have let other boyfriends in the past come in my mouth so I knew what to do with it when he did but usually my ex-boyfriend's gave me a warning at least or I agreed to let them do it before they did. This guy didn't tell me anything I didn't even hear any changes in his breathing he just shot right in there without even asking me. I was a bit shocked especially at how fast it happened but I ended up just letting him continue and then swallowed it for him. I said to him "wow not even a warning" and we just kind of laugh although I thought it was a little bit disrespectful not even ask me first. Do guys just expect to finish inside of a girls mouth when They get a blowjob or what? Was it disrespectful?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Cumming in your mouth is the normal expectation for a BJ. It's the "default" place to do it. If you didn't want that, you should have said something before you began.

    Now, having said that, giving some warning is also the "default" practice, and he should have indicated that he was close. I don't know that it was "disrespectful", but it was impolite. Perhaps his previous Girlfriend didn't want or need a warning and "taught" him not to, or maybe he just never learned that it was expected. Yes, he could also just be selfish.

    Really, though, it's YOUR job to set expectations and boundaries (and his job to do the same for him). While I agree me made a minor error by failing to warn you, it *probably* wasn't done out of maliciousness or self-centeredness. I don't think it meets the level of disrespectful, UNLESS his attitude about it is obviously disrespectful of you.

    Before you do this again, you need to set your expectations, and if necessary, negotiate them. IF he continues to fail to warn you after being asked to do so, THEN you have a case for him being disrespectful.

  • NO not all guys expect to finish in a girl's mouth.

    NO he wasn't necessarily disrespectful. The excitement could have been very high and/or you may have been too good for him to realize it and/or he may have assumed that you'd want it since you are already blowing him.

    Whichever way it always makes sense to tell the girl that I'm about to come and I always do that so if in case she wants to pull out she can and if she likes it she knows it coming and it excites her more :)

    However, in case of him cumming in your mouth, I won't grade it as disrespectful though many women may disagree with me :)

Most Helpful Girls

  • I like that the guy tell me b4 he cums, but that's just my preference. It's easier to deal with if I know right when it's going to happen, that's all. But yeah, I'd say most guys say something but I've had guys who don't say anything b4hand, which w/e.. could be that your guy is just used to not saying anything? But just as a tip, it's never a bad idea to say something to the girl! :o)

  • Uh if you had a problem with it why would you give him a blow job? Finishing in your mouth is the whole point?

    • You're giving him blow jobs without a committed relationship and only a month of dating. Can't really expect him to put you on a pedestal.

    • Finishing in my mouth is not the point of a BJ, have you ever given a BJ before sex? I bet he did come in your mouth. It's called 4play.

    • Well you can't tell when he's going to come? Like really? You have no reason to be mad or offended. If you don't want come in your mouth don't give a bj. Spitters are quitters. Besides, you can still have sex after he cums. And no it's not 4play. It's foreplay.

    • Show All

  • I think you should tell him if you want forewarning.

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What Girls & Guys Said

5 11

  • Well, it's poor etiquette anyway. I mean I guess it's somewhat expected, but it's still polite to verify that it's OK, especially the first time. And a guy should just give a warning anyway to give a second to get ready. I wouldn't make too big a deal of it, just tell him that next time he needs to give you a heads up.

  • I think it was freaking cool what you did...disrespectful is pulling out and skeeting on the face. What is normal is a little wimper from him saying what's on the way

  • Yes very, this goes to show he believes you are HIS and HE controls you, while doesn't respect you/ thinks of you as an object, most likely a sexual one.

    • Or it was purely an accident

  • It was disrespectful. That's why people should communicate before and after any sexual relations. If he does it again and it angers you spit his load out onto his lap.

  • I don't mind if a woman cumms in my mouth without warning. Actually, I think it's a plus. I mean, isn't that what you go down on someone for? You're trying to make them cum. Success! Just sayin'.

  • Usually I give a courtesy head tap.

  • Yeah, a bit. Let me just say that I LOVE cumming in a woman's mouth. One of the all time best feelings ever. It is, but, you have to give her warning. If you do and she keeps on going then she is obviously cool with me Cumming in her mouth, but I don't ever just assume that it's happening. Even if it's a girl I've done it with 100 times I still give her warning so she is prepared. I have had it surprise me before where I was getting fairly close and she does something incredible that immediately sent me over the edge, but that was very obvious by the noises and the involuntary spasms that she was about to get a mouthful. Haha, Now she had talent!

  • i didn't even think to ask either haha I've always just finished without any warning haha so there is 2 guys you know who don't give warnings

  • If he didn't ask and you didn't specify any preference before hand for how you wanted him to finish, it's not disrespectful. You made an incorrect assumption about how he would behave. Call it a learning experience.

  • For the 1st blowjob to come in your mouth without warning is a bit off. All he was prob thinking was 'can I get away with it', nothing more than that.

  • That guy was disrespectful

  • A warning would have been nice but I don't think it is a deal breaker.

  • It's your job to set boundaries in this relationship.

    I would tell him to give you a warning next time.

  • If she gives me a BJ, I assume she wants me to come in her mouth.

  • Yes, bad bedroom manners. LOL I am so glad I don't have to deal with a dog

  • I always ask the girl if she is OK with it before I do it and I always give a heads up when I'm about to cum. has this guy had any girlfriends before you?

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