How do you ask girls to hook up?

[Anonymous]

I really don't know how to ask girls if they are DTF. I just got myself out of a situation where I was getting led on and played the whole way through trying to get in a relationship with a girl. So I'm really not looking to try and cuff anyone right now in fear that I'd get played with again. I'm a typical nice guy so that made me an easy target for her mind games. I have girls that I'm interested in and that I think may be interested in me but I really don't know how tactful I should be when asking to hook up? Do I have to take them out first? or should I just try to hang with them at their place then make a move?

[WhiteSteve]

Honestly, it just sort of happens. Can't just be like "soooo...wanna hook up?" More often than not, I go for aggressive girls that make it known that they're interested, so I'm probably not too good with shyer girls. I used to work with this girl right after I had gotten out of a 5 year relationship since high school, so my game was real rusty. I invited her over to my place to take bong rips, haha. I don't think she was a big smoker but was just coming to hang out with me, haha. So she came over a couple times but I never made a move, we just hit the bong, I stupidly kept talking about my ex and how much she sucked (rookie move, never do that, haha), and I'd walk her to her car, we'd hug, and she'd leave. So after a few times I asked her to watch a movie, Half Baked I think haha, and we were sitting on the couch in my living room. Then halfway through the movie she turned sideways so she was leaning against me, and it wasn't until then that it dawned on me that she was down. And I STILL didn't kiss her til I walked her to her car, haha. I can't believe I was like that in retrospect.

But if I were you I'd go the date route. If you take a girl out, your intentions are already on the table. Just hanging out is iffy, because a lot of girls seem to think that means we ACTUALLY want to hang out. Don't be gun shy because of the last girl, not ALL girls are looking to play you. But girls DO love games. They don't know it, and they don't see it as such, but they play games. It's their way of testing you to see if you're a suitable mate. My girlfriend of 7 years still does it, haha. "Ugh, I have to do "X" today, but I'm so tired." = "I have to do "X" today, but I really don't feel like it and want you to do it for me, but I can't ask outright because I'll seem high maintenance, so I want you to read the clues and volunteer." A lot of them just want to lead you in a certain direction to see if you'll make the right move, and don't seem to realize how obvious and thinly-veiled their ruse is, haha.

All in all though, you just gotta let things unfold naturally. Try to pick up on her cues the best you can. And in my experience, if she wants to hook up with you, she won't waste much time. If a month has gone by and you're still not getting any sugar, hit the EJECT button and bail out.

[Anonymous]

There's no simple answer, but a bunch of things, and also there's more then one approach.

-> you're not trying to trick girls looking for relationships into having sex. You're looking for girls who are interested in hooking up, who will enjoy it, maybe once, maybe ongoing. Girls who if they'd hooked up with you and now weren't, and had a friend who was dying to get laid, would introduce you.

-> if you just want to hook up and not be a couple, I would NOT go 'out' for dates. that's confusing things. Just invite over to hang out or watch a movie etc.

-> without being bitter, just relaxed and happy, be open about not looking for a relationship right now, but liking girls and enjoying spending time with girls who feel the same.

-> try to be happy and cheerful and exude that. Don't judge girls who sleep around, don't judge girls who don't. You just like girls, like having a good time, and you're down for that with girls who are interested.

-> flirt and pay attention.

-> try not to get crushes and pursue girls, rather be open and available and constantly flirting with girls around you, casually letting them know what you're looking for, and seeing which ones seem tempted.

-> be relaxed, if and when things happen, enjoy and try to show her a good time too.

-> be aware that if you are a genuinely nice guy who is comfortable with casual sex and like and respect girls who have casual sex, can have a fun time with them, create trust without jealousy, enjoy them and enjoy yourself, create a safe place for them to have fun sexually, you're actually not THAT common a guy. Tons of guys want to stick their dick in a girl, but most guys are actually pretty shitty casual sex partners to women. So keep it in your head that them hooking up with you is a nice and good thing for both of you. They're not doing you a favor, nor you them. Good time for everyone.

[katiesmuff]

Just walk right up to her and say "My dick is just itchin to fuck you bitch" ! I do however suggest that you wear a cast iron cup to protect your balls!

[ghiwa]

Hahahaha lmaoooooooo

[archer86]

I drive to Canada. I find women on the internet and invite them to my hotel room. Once they arrive, I ask, "How much?"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Worked for twenty years and counting...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Damn, I need more money...

[AdamThomas]

Google "Mode One" by Alan Roger Currie. I used to have the exact same problem.

[Anonymous]

simple when yoru cuddling and its nice you just ask hey wanna hook up and then that's it just be ready to say something if she says no so its not awkward but if your going out with her she shouldn't say no you'll be right