I gave my virginity to the wrong guy and I'm regreting it so much.

[Anonymous]

Plz don't judge me. I lost my virginity to a 19 year old guy when I was 14. I was stupid, I only see it now but I'm older now. I feel that I have failed God because I used to wear an abstinence/purity ring and had such a good relationship with Him. Nonetheless, the guy made me fall so hard for him. He lied to me and I fell for everything. He ignored me at school but when we were alone he made me feel like I'm the only girl in the world. He asked me to be his girlfriend in secret and I accepted ..I know -_-.. But after he got what he wanted, I stopped existing in his life. He stopped texting me, he blocked me from his Facebook and out of his life. He knew I would do anything for him, he knew how much I love him. So he took advantage of that. He made me feel so special then he stopped, he told me it was a mistake, that I'm a mistake and I had to act like it's okay, I don't care, it doesn't bother me at all though It hurts so much :'( and what hurts the most is that I can't get over him, I wish I had never let him sleep with me, because of that wish I suffered from depression for a year and a half. I loved him so much it hurt ,like I cried every night, silently that no one can hear me... I just wanted him to love me the way I thought he did, the way he made me believe he did and it just didn't wanna happen.. I still love him, regardless of what he did to me .I can't get over him. I still think about him, I can't forget him. The feeling won't go away.. Why? Can someone please explain that to me please I'm begging.. Why can't I move on, I really want to

[Anonymous]

Think about it, all you really want is true love and acceptance and when you thought this guy could give it to you, you believed it so hard, I can understand your heart break and empathise so much that while I was reading I felt pained... I can understand you because it happened to me also. I was in love with a guy who was 4 years older than me when I was 16. Thankfully I never gave him what he wanted and I always acted like we were just friends but he chased me hard and I knew exactly what he wanted. He wanted me just for my body, pure lust! Whereas I wanted him so badly to love me for me and to always want to be with me. Because I knew and detected that he couldn't love me that way I wanted him to love me, I avoided him as hard as I could although I wasn't always successful. When I found out that during the time he was chasing me had been lying and having sex with 4 girls, all of them believing they were his girlfriend my heart shattered and I felt like my life was over. Like I no longer had anything to live for. It hurt for what seemed like ages but then I found someone who loved me so much! You say you believe in God and so do I. I had prayed to God that he would pull me out of my misery... I begged him to give me someone who truly loved me and he did! Every single event of how I met my current boyfriend was so far-fetched and over the top - from meeting him by accident 3 times, the third time on my birthday at the perfect time of my life, made me realize how truly blessed I was and it took me 2 years to truly realize that God had given this to me and that I had never even thanked him for it. You weren't dum for the mistakes you made with this guy, you were inexperienced and wanted love and no one can blame you for that. If you truly feel bad because of losing your virginity to him ask God for forgiveness and pray to him how much you want to experience true love. It will work I promise! Your heart aches for the love you always wanted and never had. Although time will help you resolve these issues, the only thing or person that can eliminate the numbness from your heart is someone who truly loves you and trust me you WILL find that someone! I know because I was just like you! I couldn't get over it and it hurt so badly! But praying and sharing my thoughts with close friends made me forget. Then someone who loved me the way I deserved to be loved thought me how to love again. Good luck! I have faith in you! xxx

[05Jueey]

I'm so sorry... the fact that you had sex is OK. It really is. God understand how you're feeling and he supports you. The best thing you can do for yourself is take steps to make you a stronger and happier person. I'm sorry that it hurts so much. It can and will be OK <3

Have you thought about or tried counselling? Helps me a lot

[katiesmuff]

It's over and there is absolutely nothing you can do to change what happened except pull yourself together, consider it a good lesson in life and move on. Acting the way you are makes him the winner.

[indy7]

What he did to you hurt you badly. His actions are inexcusable. You now think you love him as you once did. But really what you're feeling is more the 'idea' of loving him, the idea of loving someone and having someone love you back. Love feels good. There's nothing else like it. It's euphoric. Especially a young love.

He hurt you badly. You cried and mourned, suffered depression for having lost your virginity to him, feeling that you failed God, feeling hurt and abandoned, and feeling that you lost love. The fact is he never loved you back. He used you, and should be strung up by his balls in the middle of Town Square for all to see; to be publicly ridiculed. As hard as it will be, you have to realize he was no good, and you must move on. You must move on so you can find a guy who will truly love you, truly give you what you deserve.

You're having trouble moving on because the feeling of love is so powerful. It's not 'love' that's so powerful. It's the 'feeling' of love that's so powerful. Right now you feel it, but it's not there. His love was never present. You feel yours, but at this time it's more of the IDEA of what you felt, not actually WHAT you felt. You're not letting yourself move on because you're holding on to the IDEA of him loving you and you loving him; the IDEA of the two of you together, and the FEELINGS you experienced at the time; and the IDEA of what could have been. It's taken me decades to figure this out and convince myself of this about my first real love. I experienced much of what you've experienced after I lost her. So, if you can now be strong and overcome this and move on after only 2 years of dealing with this pain and suffering because of what I finally learned, then my heartache has been worth it. I wish you the best.

[WoIIie]

You're young and made some stupid mistakes.

This guy literally has your number and he's abusing your kind soul. Stay away from him. He's no good for you. Mistakes come in two's. If you have the strength to push him away then you've proven your value to... God (whatever you believe) and most importantly, to YOURSELF.

ANYONE can be fooled once. ANYONE can. Even the smartest people can be exploited in a moment of weakness. It's not your fault and you can make it right if you just move on. It's not as hard as you think it is. Just move on. Let it go.

By the way, virginity really isn't a big deal. There's a first time for everything so let's call it like it is... a trial run. You'll be fine. All this pent up drama and frustration is made up in your head. You're still a fine young lady with a bright future.

[GhostieCritter]

Hun, there isn't much to say; I am not religious myself but find your ground with God and find yourself in his comforts again. He will tend to your pain and heal your sorrows.

Peace~

[kheserthorpe]

You don't love him.

You love the fake-him that he created.

And why wouldn't you? Forgive yourself for that.

The guy you felt love for doesn't exist. That sucks. You will love again.

IMHO, you haven't failed God. You failed to follow an instruction that was perhaps designed to keep you from being hurt, and sure enough, you got hurt. That doesn't make you an evil failure, it means you made a mistake that any parent would wish could have been avoided. So deal with the hurt but don't beat yourself up over it, grow and move on. I'm not saying that's easy, but that's what to move towards.

[redtide]

I will always remember the girl who I wanted so badly but she wouldn't be with me. She wanted to keep our friendship a secret because of her status. I couldn't take it anymore, so I just ended it. People should be able to be public about that kind of thing, not private. (sex is meant to be private)

[Kupacus]

You need someone to slap you very hard, that's all darling ;).

[franz-joseph]

if you're still stressing over this five years later you need some professional help like therapy.

[Unashamed116]

Well God knows and loves you. We all fall, we all mess up, we all fall short to god but he loves us and offers forgives. God sees every sin as the same so losing your virginity is just as bad a that one little little lie you told.

[Anonymous]

You were young and he should be ashamed of himself. Don't let some random guy ruin your life and self worth. Take this a learning experience, and move on.

[Anonymous]

if god can forgive hitler, he can forgive you. don't worry about it.

[Anonymous]

You got popped and dropped. This is why society tells young people its better to wait for sex. Just promise yourself you will be smarter from now on.

[Anonymous]

It's not about him, it's about you.

You want to validate that what you (emotionally) gave away to him was worth it. It just wasn't. Sometimes that happens. Feel the sadness and allow yourself to move on. You don't really love HIM, you're pining to feel important and valued from him. He's an asshole and you can be valued without his attention.