Dry humping in your 20s?

I'm 23 and I haven't had sex in 4 years because I don't wanna do it with just anybody. I was suppose to wait till I was married, but decided to wait until I was in love and endded up doing it with my eks-boyfriend of 2 years. Now I've started dating a new guy that is 25 and a virgin, and that can't hide the fact he really wants to have sex - I don't blame him, but I've told him that I want to wait, I want it to be meaningful. We get a long really well, we go out to eat, watch movies, spent the night at each others' places (because we did that when were just friends), and we make-out for hours which has led us to go to third base. While we make-out, he lays on top of me, and it's like we have sex with our clothes on. What I'm wondering is, is it dumb of me to be doing this, when I don't want to have sex? I mean, I enjoy it and I'm really turned on, I've even manged to orgasm from what we've been doing - and yeah we could easily go all the way and have sex, I just don't want to do something I'm gonna regret, and don't want to be 'just some girl, he hooked up with', I want to wait till we're in a ekslusive relationship. But I wonder what he is thinking or feeling - am I putting him in a frustrated position by doing these things with him, and then making him wait? Not that I'm gonna give it up if I am, but have I maybe let it go too far? Especially now that we're not teenagers anymore.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • I would say you let it go too far. In respect to your decision about waiting. In my opinion, what you are doing physically with and what you don't want to do "sexually" with just anyone, is really just different names for the same thing.

    I mean, right? Think about it: are you having orgasms with him/caused by him/because of him? Has he seen/touched/penetrated your vagina with a part of his body? Have you touched him until orgasm?

    In any other context, tell anyone you did this and leave out the "clothed" part, and more likely than not, they'll assume you had sex. It's just semantics. Now your just splitting hairs. What's all that different from doing what you do, and his penis coming into contact with your vagina? You have the same potential to orgasm. You have the same feel-good feelings. You are both causing this to each other. Does he want to penetrate you?: no doubt. But that's as natural as wanting a whole piece of cake as opposed to a sample. Owning something as opposed to having it temporarily. If it frustrates him, it's only because he's not doing what his bioligically desires have intended him to for centuries: stick his reproductive organ into yours.

    What I'm saying is, don't fool yourself by splitting hairs. Give a man a taste and I assure he will want more. So the solution, is more or less how you decide to carry your relationship or how a relationship with you is represented. If waiting for sex is a principle of yours, then he should be able to tell this, know this, and respect it, if a more serious relationship with you is what he's looking for/you're looking for. AND if those are you're requirements. A lot of people differ in that many don't wait before marriage and sex with a date, FWB, girlfriend/boyfriend is part of a healthy sexual existence.

  • If people are reaching orgasm they might prefer sex but are probably having a pretty good time. If not it's a lot more frustrating.

    Is there a reason you and 25 year old virgin aren't exclusive? He's not sure about turning down all his other ladies?

Most Helpful Girls

  • You need to sit down and have an honest conversation with him about your sexual future.It's not bad to be doing it the way you are- working up to sex. I see no reason to stop. Just have that conversation about how maybe you're ready to be in an exclusive relationship so that you can feel more comfortable going forward with it. And maybe ask yourself if you are letting your past decisions and relationships cloud your future ones. :)

  • You told him how you feel. Now it will be up to him if he wants to stick around.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • As long as you guys finish eachother off ie with oral etc, then I don't think your have any problems, but get worked up sexually without the release or orgasm can become a problem for a guy eventually,x

  • There sure are a lot more prudes out there than I had initially thought...

    Have you not gone to college or what?

    • Yes I am a prude. I do wanna sex, but that doesn't mean in gonna fuck anything that comes along. And yes, I am in college now. Anything else?

    • Is Jesus real?

    • Oh so the only reason I would want to wait is because I'm a Christian? Dude, I'm not a virgin, just got some standards.

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  • your going too far. its just going to make him want more

  • you sound like my girlfriend.

    • How so?

    • That thing about laying on top of you as if you're having sex is something my girlfriend likes and always asks me to do. And that you want it to be meaningful. Plus my current girlfriend was my first as well. I never had any sexual activity before.

    • Do you enjoy that?

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  • wow, your dating a guy that is 25 and a virgin and you are not? that is surprising, and shocking, also kinda inspiring because it seems the vast majority of non-virgin girls are turned off by inexperienced virgin guys

    • Well, I'm a Christian girl who was to suppose to stay a virgin until marriage - so who am I to judge? ;)

    • just surprised