Sexual Health
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What happens when your boyfriend becomes your step brother?

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for over a year now. My dad is single and so is my boyfriends mom and they always go out together to the bar or whatever and it really made me and my boyfriend uncomfortable. Well me and my boyfriend are graduating in a week and just found out that our parents are getting married. My dad said he had to go out of town for some work thing and his mom was "visiting family" at the same time. Well we found out they have been secretly dating for a year now and they went to huwai together and he proposed to her. I am so mad its not even funny. My dad said that they didn't think we would be together this long and its just a high school fling. We have been together way longer and now they are getting married. They told us to not see each other anymore and that they are adults and we are kids and don't know what love is. I love my boyfriend and we are not going to break up so what now? I'm gonna be sleeping with my step brother? this is just crazy and selfish of them.
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Wow... I don't know how long ago this question and your answer was posted, but I just have to ask who gives you the right to be so disrespectful to this girl? Telling her she's silly and immature for thinking her boyfriend will become her step-brother, when this is EXACTLY WHAT WILL HAPPEN. Maybe you should study the law before you claim to know things that you obviously don't. I'm a lawyer, so let me fill you in: A step-brother is the son of your step-mother with any man other than your dad. A step-mother is any woman who marries your dad who is not your biological mother. Ergo if their parents get married, her boyfriend becomes her step-brother. You are mistaking step-brother for adopted brother. An adopted brother is any guy who is legally adopted by your dad. Through adoption, the law treats him as if he was the dad's real son. Ergo sex with an adopted brother would be incest and prohibited unless the law states an exclusion from the rule. Sex between step-siblings is legal.

    On a different note, why are their parents entitled to their happiness, but the kids are not? The kids dated before them, and any caring parent wouldn't even have started to date her bf's mom under these circumstances. Can you imagine how weird it would be had the kids broken up before the parents got married, and then they have to live together as step-siblings? Seriously a very very bad idea for the parents to date, because no matter the outcome if the kids' relationship, the parents' marriage puts the kids through a lot of heartache. Now that they decided to date regardless, they have to bear the consequences. Which means, let the kids continue to date for God's Sake.

    • This was meant as comment to Dave216's comment, sorry. Don't know why it got posted as separate comment.

  • I don't think there is anything wrong with it because he is not blood related to you and its not illegal. Fuck ur parents they have no right to say that. Plus ur adults NOW, they can't say ur a kids because when ur 18 ur legally considered an adult. You just have to be strong about it because people will judge, if they ask just say ur parents met after. They'll understand your situation.

  • You know, I think it´s pretty amusing how your dad and his mum think they have the right to break you up cause they´re getting married:P especially cause this means that they've been married before (or at least in a very serious relationship) which didn't work out. How can they be so sure this one will?

    I think you two should keep dating, f*** them, and anyone that will judge^^

Most Helpful Guys

  • Well you are too young and uninformed to be involved in a monogamous relationship. The fact that you have any concerns about sex with a step brother tells me you are very naive yet. You should be dating as many different guys as possible so as to learn about guys and enable yourself to make informed logical decisions about mate selection when you are old enough to get involved in a monogamous relationship. You are so silly and immature with what you have written. For a start, this guy is not and will not be your step brother. His mom will be your step mother, but as you are both graduating soon you are too old to be adopted and so will never be step brother and sister. Even if you were younger and adopted by both parents there would still be no problem what so ever as the laws are positioned to prevent inbreeding and the two of you share no genetic relationship. So regardless of your parents marital status, you and the boyfriend just strangers too each other and anything you care to do is just fine. As a side note, mind your own business and keep your nose out of your parents relationships. They are adults and entitled too their happiness and it would be morally wrong for you too interfere.

    • Wow... I don't know how long ago this question and your answer was posted, but I just have to ask who gives you the right to be so disrespectful to this girl? Telling her she's silly and immature for thinking her boyfriend will become her step-brother, when this is EXACTLY WHAT WILL HAPPEN. Maybe you should study the law before you claim to know things that you obviously don't. I'm a lawyer, so let me fill you in: A step-brother is the son of your step-mother with any man other than your dad. Ergo if their parents get married, her boyfriend becomes her step-brother. You are mistaking step-brother for adopted brother. An adopted brother is any guy who is legally adopted by your dad. Through adoption, the law treats him as if he was the dad's real son. Ergo sex with an adopted brother would be incest and prohibited unless the law states an exclusion from the rule. Sex between step-siblings is legal.

    • On a different note, why are their parents entitled to their happiness, but the kids are not? The kids dated before them, and any caring parent wouldn't even have started to date her bf's mom under these circumstances. Can you imagine how weird it would be had the kids broken up before the parents got married, and then they have to live together as step-siblings? Seriously a very very bad idea for the parents to date, because no matter the outcome if the kids' relationship, the parents' marriage puts the kids through a lot of heartache. Now that they decided to date regardless, they have to bear the consequences. Which means, let the kids continue to date for God's Sake.

    • this is actually the most awful advice i've ever read holy crap whats wrong with you

  • Your parents are entitled to their romance. You are entitled to yours. Everyone can have everything as long as no one is a jerk. Good luck with that.

    "I love my boyfriend and we are not going to break up so what now?" Live happily ever after. Your parents' relationship has changed; yours have not. Make your parents clear on this.

    Every kid gets (or should get) to an age where they put their parents on firm notice that their role in their kids' romantic life is at an end. It's a tense conversation, and a necessary one.

    "I'm gonna be sleeping with my step brother?" Yes. This is unimportant unless someone decides to freak out over it (a foolish and unhelpful choice).

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What Girls & Guys Said

3 5

  • that's...messed up!

    Parents of kids who are already dating should refrain from dating each other, imo. YOU HAD HIM FIRST!

    Talk to your dad about how you feel. this is very wrong.

    • Please explain why you think it is wrong. I am just curious what your reason is. Of course you are totally mistaken, but it is often entertaining to understand where people come up with really ridiculous positions.

    • Well, I didn't mean it was wrong in a moral sense, more in a selfish sense. Maybe it isn't MORALLY wrong, but it does show a lack of consideration for the kids--especially since they are being forced to break up so that their parents can do their thing!

    • It is silly to contemplate relationship termination because of the actions of the parents or the children. Neither relationship has any bearing on the other. Parents are strangers, so are the kids. What ever either couple does will not change the legal relationship of the other.

  • My friend is going out with her step brother too. It does seem a bit weird but it's ok because you were dating before you're dad and his mum started. Just carry on-it isn't fair that they are saying you should split up-you shouldn't! It isn't like you are blood related.

  • He is only your brother..BY LAW, date if you want, who gives a rat's ass what anyone says? You have been going out since before they got married so it shouldn't matter.

  • well I think you should still date him

    and see where it takes you

    cause its not like its incest or and e thing

    ur not related by blood or and e thing

    its totally normal

    and ur dad has to understand it

    and I don't think they will have a problem

    with you going out with him.

    a

  • Still date him. Nothing wrong with it. He is not your BROTHER... he is your boyfriend. Just because your parents are dating / getting married... doesn't make him your brother.

    In my opinion.

  • Im in the same exact position right now.My boyfriend and I has been dating almost 3 years now and our parents just got married on Dec 31,2013.But we are still dating, we don't give a fuck about eh

    • What people might think or say

  • Keep on having fun, your parents are full of it. They know so much about relationships that their first marriages ended in divorce. They don't know any better or worse than you do.

  • I know some people that will take care of this problem for 10,000.

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