Is 1 month in a relationship too soon for sex?

Ok so me and boyfriend have been together for about 3 weeks. We've done stuff pretty much every couple has. We've made out,hes fingered me, and just pretty much slept together half naked. we haven't had sex yet. We tried just 2 weeks into our relationship! But I'm a virgin and it hurt so I made him stop. We talked about it after for a while and I told him we should wait. We were moving way too fast. it seemed like he got upset at first but then hugged me and told me we could wait as long as I needed. I told him I wanted to try it again as soon as we hit 1 month but now I'm thinking. Is that too early in a relationship? I know I should make the decision. If I'm ready to give up my virginity on my own but I don't know I think if we have sex it will just make us closer. someone please help.
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Most Helpful Girls

  • My fiance and I knew each other about a month when we had sex for the first time. I myself was also a virgin, but he was not. We were fooling around one night, with no intention of having sex (at least in my mind, he might have had different thoughts) and it just happened. I had always said I wanted to be in a relationship for a while before doing it but when it happened it just seemed right. I was always very self-conscious but it was different with him. I just knew that night that it was right and that I wanted it to be with him.

    If you have that feeling with him and feel like it is right, then it might be it, but if you are second thoughts then I wouldn't do it. I hope this helped. good luck.

    • Thanks. Sharing you experience made me think. I do feel right with him.

    • Hope all works out well.

  • Everyone thinks sex is such a big deal and it isn't. I lost mine in the first week of knowing the guy. I mean we were fooling around and it just happened. not a big deal. I liked it and have kept doing it ever since. I finally found something I'm good at. and when he said he would wait for you as long as you want, that made me laugh a little. I mean all guys want to bang you the first time they meet you. That's the whole point of going out with them in the first place. what I'm trying to say is, if you don't give it to them, they will find someone else to do it with.

    • And I would say you got nothing else to offer but sex, so you are just good for that---sex. Women who got a lot more to offer than sex, don't just give it up easily cause they know they are better than that.

    • I agree with sexwiseman, and kiki-baby, you should realize that it is not about them but about you, what you are worth. I am sure you will see that as years go by.

  • If you're even asking if the time you've been together is appropriate then it most definitely is. Also a month just isn't a long enough time period to be in a good, solid, functional relationship. If he's pushing for sex then you need to give up the relationship with him.

Most Helpful Guys

  • Sqyntz pretty much hit it in the nail. I would only add that at this age range, most guys are thinking about the sex part more than the getting connected with the female part. That's why once they have sex and get bored of it, they leave that girl and move to the next conquest. Also, having sex will make you closer to him, but in reality, most of the times is quite the opposite for the guy. They see you as conquest, and since they got what they wanted, they leave. That's why a lot of my female friends who lost their virginity cried and cried and all I could hear was, 'but I thought he loved me. ' I would tell them. 'but they did love--your vagina that is.

    • That's why you should lose it to someone you don't love. It's easier that way.

    • Yea, but not many girls are cold-hearted that way. Most girls I met wanted their sex experience to be something meaningful. Only those that really just loved sex for sex didn't care and there are a few of those out there, compare to those that care.

    • I lost mine to someone I didnt love. it is easier to leave them. ha.

  • In my opinion one month is way too soon you don't even have a connection too him really and you need to get to know someone better before you just give it up to him! I mean what if you do it and that's all he wanted was to have sex and he leaves you? Did you ever think of that? Don't say that won't happen cause some guys are total assholes like that! Make him wait I mean technically if he has already put his penis in you you aren't a virgin anymore if he broke your hymen but I would wait at least 6 months so that you know you will be together for a while!

    • Thanks for the advice sqyntz. I think I will make him wait a little longer.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • If you were about 30, 1 month would be fine. But at 18, 1 month might be pushing things a little too fast.

    When you do it, just make sure he really likes you, and that you are protected.

    • Thanks for all the help and advice=]

    • You're welcome! :-)