My girlfriend walked in on me. how can I make her stay?

[Anonymous]

This past weekend my girlfriend went over to her friends for a bridal shower and I had one of my friends come over and hang out. Me and my friend got into some real deep conversation and had maybe a little to much to drink. He told me that he was gay which was a shocker but then he said he has wanted me for over a year now. We kept on talking and drinking and to cut to the chase, one thing led to another and we ended up in my room and him f***ing me. My girlfriend came home and I must have not realized what time it was and I didn't hear her come in but she walked in the room and had to witness me doing something totally disgusting. I tried to talk to her but couldn't even talk and she was speechless as well. she left and went to her moms house and my friend stayed with me and we cracked open a fifth and finished it, went to my room and had sex again and passed out. I woke up with the worst feeling I have ever had. I felt sick and dirty. I puked (probably mostly the alcohol) and didn't even want to be conscious didn't want to think. she will not talk to me but she is coming over tomorrow tonight to get stuff and she said she will let me talk. What can I say to her? it was a total mistake and I'm not gay . I am just lost on what to do.

[misskiss17]

there's nothing you can do.

you slept with a guy not once but twice

and alcohol isn't an excuse to sleep with a guy if you're a guy.

every straight guy I know, even when they're drunk are repulsed at the thought of

them sleeping with another guy even when they're drunk.

sure you might be more "in the mood" when you're drunk

but if you're a guy, and you're straight, alcohol won't get you in bed with another guy.

you said you puked (but mostly because of the alcohol)

it does sound like you're gay and in denial.if not gay then bi.

she's not talking to you because she doesn't know what to say.

if she asks you why your only answer could be I don't know it was a mistake and that's not good enough because it'll still be confusing.

she just walked in on her fiance having sex with another man.another woman she'd be livid

but another man is different.

when my ex told me he was gay, I thought it was my fault.i was glad he was honest but

i was so confused, hurt, sad, angry, and so many other things all at once it was an emotion overload and even as a girl I couldn't handle that much emotion

i couldn't cry because I was so confused I didn't know if it was right to cry about it

we'd never had sex but still.it made me feel like I wasn't doing something right.

just let her think

[TaurusFemmeFatale]

Unless she was Carmen Electra, and actually turned on by the scene, then maybe you would have had a chance.

-But honestly,

I definitely think you're BIsexual. Why? When your friend first opened up to you about his sexual orientation...your immediate reaction would have been FREAKED OUT!

Secondly, he opened up to you when you were intoxicated, which meant you would have tried to sober up, or 'man' up, and remove yourself from his presence as quickly as possible.

Thirdly, after what your girlfriend witnessed, you would NOT have slept with him AGAIN!

Most men who are bi-curious, maybe a kiss, a hand-job, $ral sex even...but never "pounded" in the rear end...C'mon. Remember alcohol tells a thousand tales!

NO CHANCE FOR A RECONCILIATION HERE!

[the-love-guru]

Okay, you slept with a man not just once... but TWICE. And he was your friend. Your relationship is over. Let her go,and find out what's going on with you. Sounds like you've got some serious issued to work through. We've all been seriously trashed at some point in our lives, but I can honestly tell you that I've never done something drunk that I didn't want to do sober. It may not have been a smart idea, but I always am aware of what I'm doing.

You say you're not gay, but you slept with a man... Think about it...

And it's 10x worse to find your significant other in bed with someone of the same sex. It means that there really is nothing that you can offer them (a woman cannot be the same as a man) and vice versa.

Best of luck!

[l-hedoniste]

It's really just a hail-mary pass at this point, but try the truth: you were drunk, and you screwed up.

Before you do, however, consider a few things. First, it is rare, no matter how much alcohol is involved, for a dude to get laid by a gay guy unless he finds the idea at least remotely appealing.

Am I saying you're gay? No. I'm saying that you're perhaps cooler with guy-on-guy than most straight guys. If so, you'll be better off owning this streak than drinking up to it. Fewer bad hangovers that way.

Besides, some chicks are cool with it, and some chicks are really, REALLY cool with it. So if this girl doesn't work out, another will.

No worries.

[Blindness]

I'm not sure if I believe this story.

But if it's true, you didn't make a mistake. By definition, a mistake is a mistake, it's 1 thing done wrong. In contrast, you made a series of choices that culminated in anal intercourse with a man.

Not that being gay or bi or curious is morally wrong to me. As long as you're having sex with people who are into you, I say go for it. But cheating on your girlfriend *is* morally wrong, and cheating with a dude, while your GF's at a friend's bridal shower is shocking. There's so much subtext and so may boundary transgressions at work here that I suspect the true story is very deep, very complex and very layered.

[versusxiii]

Well that's really good, I'm happy for you :) no matter how strange the circumstances, it's good that you have found some happiness out of all of this. She is also better off because it would have come out eventually so it saved some wasted time for the both of you. Good luck in your relationship! :)

[thelittlethings]

I don't see what you can say. If it were me I would be gone no matter what you said. The best you can do is tell her how you feel, tell her how sorry you are, tell her why it happened. Just tell her everything. In all honesty though I don't see it working out.

[19love]

from the sounds of it your gay. it sounds like you took it and didn't give it which makes its more hard to believe your not gay. everyone had it right . you didn't do it just once, you did it 2x. sorry buddy but if you gay friend liked you for that long you must have been doing something to show your sexuality

[CuriousEd]

Wow... turned gay just by one drunken incident... does that really happen?

[sexycrystal54313]

take a cue from jamie foxx and blame it on the alcohol, ok now in all seriousness you cheated period point blank, all you can do is try and apologize and hopes she forgives u

[spaghett]

i'm sorry but I don't see it working out either. you cheated on her and then went back for seconds. doesn't matter that you're not gay or that it was with a man, you still cheated on her and she caught you. if it's that easy for a guy to get you in bed then I would think that it would be even easier for another girl to get you in bed and I wouldn't be able to trust you. just my opinion but I don't think there is anything you can say to her that will help the situation.

[Chrystilicit]

your bi-sexual...simple as that...now that's a big issue you need to address because being drunk isn't a good enough excuse for getting f***ed twice...c'mon now use better judgment

[Bizzaro_Elmo]

Ok home slice let's put aside the core fact: you cheated = trust gone.

But DUDE! You cheated on your Girlfriend with a GUY...TWICE!

You're gay. Worse still, you're gay and in denial.

You just don't know how badly you crippled her self-esteem. We're not talking 1 scud missile. No,no, no! We're talking Hiroshima and Black Rain.

She gone. Buy adult diapers.

[mav0502]

You cheated and you need to say sorry to her for it and accept that she might not forgive you. Stay with the truth and you were drunk and curious as that's what it sounds like. and tell her it will not happen again.

[Littletad]

Hard to deny your gay when you let another male shag you from behind. Your gay, or bisexual. Either way, your girlfriend left you. And I think any other girl would for that matter, if she found that out.

[XxSunshinexX]

you cheated and worst she saw you with her own eyes, sorry to say this but i dont think you can get her back.

[xxxToomy07]

You screwed up big time. You're probably a little bi at least. You can try talking to her but it's unlikely to be a forgive and forget issue. Try and forget this incident and move on.

[Lloydevans]

Your gay, Face the facts. She will probably make you stop talking to your friend if you ever got another chance with her, are you willing to choose her over him?

[DreamerT]

ur gay admmit it

[Ajsanders]

Gay or not you cheated on her. focus on that and go from there

[LiteraryBeauty]

sorry, whether it was with a girl or a guy you still cheated. It's hard to get trust back

[tyrantfuryre]

You cheated much less in front of her. You're dead meat in the water.

[sksyslses]

wow well just try to let her blow of some steam

[beverlyrenea]

when she comes to get her stuff, sit her down and talk to her. if she yells at you, let her. if its one thing girls have to do before we can forgive and forget, its to get our anger out. tell her your side of the story too. I'm sure if she loves you she will take what you say to heart.

but if this ever happened to me, it would be just as bad as seeing you f***ing another girl. and after we talked, you would still have to earn my respect and trust, but if all you did really was a mistake, that wouldn't take to long.

its just a matter of letting her think and letting it all settle down. I wish you best of luck, and give it your all if you really like this girl and want her back.(: good luck!

[hotmama3454]

Well it sounds to me that your gay or bi so you should figure out what you really want before you go breaking this girls heart if you have not all ready and put

your self in her shoes then just wait and respect her and her space. Good luck.