Why do some women choose abortion over adoption?

I'm pro-choice, but never understood this need for abortion instead just giving adoption the baby away for adoption.
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Well there are several things to take into consideration. In not all countries is adoption as great as it may be in a first world country. Here there is too many babies that are up for adoption and too little parents who are interested in adopting. The supply is bigger than the demand. Which means you'll have to place your kid up to live in a orphanage and you have no idea how awful the living conditions are in our country's orphanages. Third world country reality is that things just don't work as well as they should and it just takes a visit to a local orphanage to see the reality of their living conditions... drugs, lack of safety, bad hygiene, living in overcrowded situations... to put a kid through that and make that someone's life is quite a big decision.

    Secondly, pregnancy itself is a huge deal. I've never been pregnant but I am a woman and can imagine what it must be like and know a fair amount of what to expect. To place yourself through that for 9 months is something that can be very traumatic especially if you know you won't keep the baby or don't want the baby. I'm also thinking about rape circumstances and carrying your rapist's child for 9 months must be very very traumatizing in a way I cannot even imagine. The reality is that pregnancy is also very expensive, it physically changes your body and has consequences that a woman might not be up for when she gets pregnant.

    These are 2 reasons I can think of at the moment. If I think of anything else I might comment some more.

    Second reason is

    • Ignore the *second reason is at the bottom. I made a formatting error :/

  • If I got pregnant right now, I don't think I'd want to keep it. It's not the right time, I don't want kids for now. That's why I take double precautions : birth control pill for me, condoms for us. However, as soon as you have sexual relationships, there's always a risk of pregnancy. I do what I can to make it as low as possible, but you never know.

    As for why I wouldn't keep it : I want to be able to tell my kid "We wanted you in our life". I want to surround him with the unconditional love of parents. I don't want to have to look in my kid's eyes and be like "well, you know, sometimes life decides for you... But it's not bad honey, we still love you". I don't want to make a kid feel undesired by his/her own parents.

    Why abortion rather than adoption? I don't want a kid because I can't give him the surroundings I want him/her to grow up in. Adoption will certainly not give him/her those either. I don't think it is responsible to give life to someone if you don't plan on giving them your very best. Giving life simply because "it's life, I can't abort it", yet putting the child a child for adoption? I'm not convinced. The adoption system is already saturated, and it's a tough life for a kid.

    So yes, I'd choose abortion over adoption, even if it would shake me very hard, because my life is currently not the best environment for a kid to grow up in. Hence I take double precautions so I'll never have to take those choices.

  • Well 9 months is a long time and if she doesn't get pto at her job she could miss out on a lot of pay from having to go to doctors appointments and possibly even get fired from her job for missing too much work. It'd be even worse if she gets really bad morning sickness (My cousin had to drop out of school because she had such bad morning sickness, she missed too much school to graduate). If she's just living paycheck to paycheck she could very well end up homeless if she loses her job or simply can't make enough to cover rent. Also, if she isn't having a healthy white baby, it is less likely to be adopted. Who would want to condemn a baby to the foster care system before it even has a chance to live? If she's addicted to drugs or alcohol she might not be able to abstain during the pregnancy and the fetus won't develop properly. She might believe abortion would be better than letting it suffer from the affects of her addiction. Actually, I just thought, I wonder if the stress of going through withdrawal from certain substances could actually induce a miscarriage? If that's the case, she might be better off mentally just getting an abortion. Obviously, these are just a few reasons and for every one I came up with there are probably a million more.

Most Helpful Guys

  • Try and look at this question in reverse. A lot of people would rather be childless, than to raise a child that is not their own flesh and blood. Even take a look at single mums, how hard it can be for them to find a partner again willing to look after another mans child.

    Is it then unreasonable to think that some people may not want to give up a child they are not ready to have to forever know they have a child wandering the planet they may never know.

    some try and be as safe as they can and accidents still happen. Modern medicine can be used to fix this problem, so i dont see a problem with this.

    its no different really to saying, oh your 40 and can't get a boner anymore? tough luck, no viagra for you. oh your guys love each other and can't concieve, no ivf for you.

  • 9 months of pregnancy can be pretty difficult physically. And pregnancy is less risky than it used to be thanks to modern medicine, but it can still cause serious medical issues or even kill a woman.

    A hospital stay to give birth is expensive. Not to mention the extra food a woman consumes, the new clothes she has to wear, etc. She may not have a job where she can take weeks off to give birth and recuperate.

    She may not want anyone to know she's pregnant. Giving a child up for adoption means everyone around you knows what you did... Parents know they have a grandchild out there, father knows he has a child, etc. And if she's very young, unmarried, etc she could potentially face severe social and family repercussions for being pregnant in the first place.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Could be because they don't want anyone to know that she got pregnant or was having sex, especially in the case of teens or young adults. Another reason could be for the sake of not yet 'ruining' the girl's body, or not choosing adoption over abortion because it's not like adoption is an easy way out. Mothers, regardless of whether they keep the child or not, still form a strong bond with them, and imagine having to carry a child inside you for 9 months only to have to give it away to a stranger.

  • Well, for one thing, carrying the child and then giving birth can actually be much more expensive than an abortion, especially if complications arise. Also, some women simply cannot deal with the pregnancy itself, as it can be very difficult and carry many problems with it, and force them to take time off from school or work that they can't afford. Also, in some cases, though they're probably not what you're referring to, continuing the pregnancy would be dangerous to the mother. Lastly, the foster care system is already pretty overcrowded, so it's not like there are sterile people or gay people who you are depriving of a child by aborting it, as some people like to claim. If a child is given up for adoption, it is likely to end up with many more psychological issues than a regular child, especially with how overpopulated the foster care system is, since it is difficult for them to take care of every single child properly.

  • Because of selfishness. Let me sum up:

    1. It "ruins" their figures (stretch marks, fat, etc.)
    2. They don't want the responsibility.
    3. They don't want the baby daddy so they cut the connection by aborting. Good for fucking, not for loving.

    Don't anybody respond with retarded comments on incest and rape... we're talking about the average abortion.

    • Abortion is not selfish. Not wanting to suffer through 9 months of sickness, feeling horrible, and inconvenience for a baby you don't even want is not selfish. It's perfectly reasonable. We don't force people to donate organs to save other's lives, why should we force a woman to give up bodily autonomy to "save" a clump of cells that's not even capable of cognitive processes, let alone feeling suffering?

    • Then maybe you should get your tubes tied. If you don't want to "suffer" then you shouldn't have been messing around in the first place. What do you think is going to happen after having sex? That's the ultimate purpose of fucking, is to have kids. See what I mean? You're completely selfish.

    • Irresponsible... completely unwilling to live with the consequences.

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  • can you really think of no possible reasons that a woman would rather terminate a pregnancy?

  • Because not everyone is willing or able to put their life on hold to carry a baby to term. I don't think it's as simple as just giving up your baby... A bond is usually formed and that's something to consider. Personally I would never get an abortion, but if it is what "works" for someone else- it's not my body and they can do what they want.

  • I'm going to assume you've never gone through a pregnancy.

  • I don't know, I guess only they will know that. Maybe the woman got raped and got pregnant from the assault - who wants to be pregnant with a rape baby? Maybe the woman has a medical problem that could be fatal to her or the baby if she is pregnant. Maybe the baby has severe birth defects. There are so many reasons.

  • Not everyone wants to have to carry a kid for 9 months and then go through labor for a child they don't plan on ever seeing again. Maybe the child is a painful memory of rape? There's many factors that could go into the decision between abortion and adoption.

  • The world is already starving, why make it worse.

  • Tell Cecile Richards to stop calling guys like me an "anti-choice extremist" and maybe there might be more adoptions.

  • they don't want responsibilities and they don't think the fetus was also a humsn being

  • It's so we can skip the whole growing attached to it for 9 or so months deal.

    • Basically, what I am saying is; compared to adoption, abortion is the more easier and less guilty way out.

  • sort of like rape. i dont think anyone wants to know they are a product of rape. no child also wants to be known as a product of adoption. it's too fake

  • cause "there are too many kids in foster care" i agree with you, because i was adopted.

    • yeah this would be a common reason especially if they themselves were adopted

    • um... ok

    • i was saying i agree with you lol.

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  • It's very hard to feel something growing in you against your will.
    It's very hard to carry out a pregnancy against your will.
    It's very hard to be judged by others for being pregnant against your will.
    It's very hard to give birth against your will.
    It's very hard to give up for adoption after 9 months of unwanted pregnancy.
    It's very hard to be judged for pregnant against your will.
    Ask yourself if YOU'd like it.

  • It probably has to do with guilt of giving your own child away and knowing you have a son/daughter out there in the world.

    Plus an abortion is just easier to handle as opposed to a long pregnancy with a painful birth.

    • I think giving up by adoption is as hard to handle a abortion. But with adoption she has pregnancy plus childbirth plus social judgment added to it.

    • edit 'as hard to handle as an abortion'

  • Rape victims.

    • and all the girls who had a moment of weakness and/or a BC accident.

  • Because the human brain is such that the moment you see the baby after its birth, you have extreme love for the child and so you would change your mind

  • Abortion is one medical procedure.
    Adoption has prenatal care, ultrasound, doctor visits, the cost of the hospital birthing and after care, then adoption fees.
    Adoption is expensive, painful, invasive and the woman often has no financial reimbursement for all the trouble.

  • - Carrying a child for 9 months is difficult, especially if the child is unwanted.
    - Giving birth to a child is not all rainbows and sunshine
    - Neither is giving a kid up for adoption. Yes, even if the kid was unwanted at first, the mother often forms a bond with the child while it's inside of her. Now you might think "but why not just keep the baby then?" because it's not that simple. Maybe the mother is severely incapable of taking care of the child herself, which means that giving it up for adoption would be better than keeping it. But as I said, even that can be seriously difficult. You're basically giving away a piece of yourself to another person, a person you don't even know, to take care of. It's difficult as hell.
    - Yes, foster homes really are overcrowded at the moment.
    - Giving a kid up for adoption won't actually guarantee that he/she will get adopted immediately. Sometimes these kids actually get to grow up a little before getting a family, which can be incredibly difficult for both the child and the family.
    - Sometimes it's just easier to get an abortion than to bring a child into this cruel, competitive and fierce world, especially if you know that you can't provide him/her with a good home, food on the table every day etc.
    - Some women have been victims of rape. Would it really be all that easy to bring a child to this world, knowing that it shares the same DNA that your rapist has?
    - Some women are also very sick. STDs can easily be passed onto your child, especially during labor. Some diseases can also cause life-threatening situations, both for the mother and the baby.

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